Does the iPhone 5 News Release Reveal Communist Brainwashing for America?

Requisite image of a smarmy, yet trendy, iPhone 5 user looking away in aloof disinterest at the fact he’s taking a picture in a major ad campaign, his feigned arrogance flying in contrast with the overpriced foreign clothing he’s tediously picked for the photo shoot. Apple customers.
It is well known that Apple and former McIntosh Inc. are vessels of communism. The new iPhone 5 smartphone being released by Apple is being anticipated by millions in the US, but oddly, is already testing to rave reviews in a select secret market in China.
The Chinese are reporting that the iPhone will be using a HPSA+ network, which has no relevant meaning to the US. Secret communiques from China reveal that this ‘data stream’ network can have various effects on the electronegativity of various molecules, especially those found within the dendrites of the brain.
For those who are not used to Cold War in the Post-Russo era, let’s spell this out. The Apple iPhone 5 may be a really neat looking tech device, but it may also be a secret instrument for Chinese brainwashing.
The iPhone 5 is promising to use a holographic display to fully make the traditional keyboard ‘obsolete’. Such a feature would destroy many American and allied nation’s manufacturing companies. The phone will also use the OS5 operating system, a confusing mix of programs that stand incompatible with Windows-friendly devices that should dominate the marketplace with fair prices and ease of use.
The high-end Apple smartphones are creating an unfair market, one in which the Android and Motorola G2 cannot fairly compete. The concept iPhone 5 featured a 3d camera “Facetime” camera, to allow people to see each other in 3d in real time, in addition to a traditional 1080 MP camera, ‘invisible sensor’, a 4-inch HDTV with surround sound and long-life batteries.
The Apple iPhone5 is a very enticing package, yet, there is one thing everyone must remember. iPhone is using the ‘invisible sensors’, a still unexplained technology, to brainwash everyone who is testing the iPhone 5.
The first concerns about the iPhone five came at the last OneWorld teleconference in London, England. The CEOs of the biggest communications and technology companies were present, and the crowd was shocked to see both Larry Ellison of Oracle and Steve Brimmer of Microsoft wearing all black outfits, sitting disinterested in the conference and only taking their earbuds (firmly attached to an iPhone 5 prototype) to talk not about their respective products, but the Apple iPhone.
Ellison praised the rich ‘bass acoustics’ the the iPhone headset, which he had used iCloud software to sync with his at home iTunes library some 8,000 miles away. Unimpressed, Brimmer stated he had managed to write ‘short code’ using the iPhone’s 5 virtual keyboard, a process he said put his Windows 8 Beta laptop to shame.
Immediately, watchdogs mentioned that there were ‘trace, suspicious bandwidth patterns’ eminating from the headset worn by Brimmer and Ellison. Did the patterns resemble the same type used by the Chinese during the Korean war era?

Attractive Women and a Sleek, Black Future The crux of Apple’s iPhone 5 brainwashing scheme involves subliminal marketing to impressionable college youth. Young college students are attracted to lust and power. They do not understand the perverted dance these two concepts do with one another. Apple slaps iPhones on only the most sultry, pert of models, then makes it look like everyday geeks in futuristic Kryptonian power v-necks lord over these beautiful women. In Apple’s world, every follower of Steve Jobs will live in a Spartan Utopia of firm phone maidens and scrawny code junkies who drink triple frappe mochas in the morning and take pills for indigestion at their dainty office jobs by mid-afternoon. Apple is making the every day plight of the ‘working man’ seem like utopia, a truly Marxist and Communist goal for life. Apple is trying to destroy reality and capitalism, and the iPhone 5 is their vehicle.

In iPhone 5 future, any man in a loose-fitting v-neck knit can wield Godly technology and have model calibre women swarming in Apple’s Utopian worker future. The ‘robot guides’ on the Apple Website encourage young men to think themselves as billionaire CEOs, able to galavant the globe in their all black attire and have the world lap up their every word as brilliant, chique and monumental.
iPhone 5: A Reality Check for a Betrayed America
When informing an Apple fan that their ‘team’ is corrupt and is selling out American interests to the Chinese, they will become angry and upset.
Flailing their arms around and saying that the accuser is a ‘close-minded capitalist fatcat’ should be expected words from the brainswashed, glib Apple iPhone afficianado’s cocao scented breath.
Be patient and be prepared to present evidence.
Shocking to many people is the vested interest Apple has taken in China during these touch economic times for America. As American companies struggle for market dominance in the wake of bank closings and record-high loan rates, it is expected that companies who made their wealth from America would pay it forward.
While Obama and his elitiest cronies stand against such Republican concepts as free will to give back to one’s country not by taxed force, but by morality and compassion, we can see the legacy of Steve Jobs is one of greedy liberalism.
Apple could have profited America billions, if not trillions, of dollars had they not outsourced jobs to their ‘Asian-Pac’ market. Not only this fact is troubling.
There are reports that Apple has funded secret meetings with Chinese scientists and politicians, discussing ways to use ‘wavelength technology’ from iTunes libraries to sync the thoughts of Marx with that of the American populace. Simply put, Apple agreed to let China place technology within the iPhone 5 that could potentially brainwash Americans.
In return, Apple was given market dominance over a knock-off iPhone in China, called the Hi-Phone, that would have easily taken billions of dollars of market shares. In exchange for brainwashing, China destroyed the Hi-Phone company and Apple is already selling its phones, in dominant fashion, in its Chinese market.
This process is very confusing to many and our friends at American Times have teamed up to create an infographic to discuss this disgusting profiteering scheme.

Apple has focused its overseas sales in China and its stocks have jumped over 300%, while its dominant market and loyalty is now to the Chinese Empire.
Such startling revelations leave many lost: they were really looking forward to purchasing the iPhone 5 for personal use or as a gift. But now it is clear: the iPhone 5 is extremely dangerous and must not be allowed for purchase in America. Apple will use powerful lobbies and even UN vetoes through China on the security council to coerce their unsafe betrayal phone in the US markets. You have been warned?
Will you let your friends, family or loved ones become brainwashed by the iPhone 5?
- Excited
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Bored
- Sad
- Angry





So do we buy that is my son gay app or not really should wait a least a WEEK before changing the story.
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What a timely and fact filled article.
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These apple-tards seem elitist to me. I don’t want to be part of their club. The Church social is where me an my Nokia phone are most comfortable. Go America!
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Phones and cellulars are Satan’s communicate of choice. Our fellowship does not permit them at all – especially on our camping trips. Please be weary even of Nokia (headquartered in homogay-friendly Finland), Iceman!
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So, I see no actual facts in the bit that I scanned through. So, it is probably all bullshit.
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Damien. God I love that name. ANYWAY the guy writing this is on our side. Mike Watson puts up these articles as a joke. (Sorry mike!) Check the Facebook link. Pretty obvious. It’s also pretty funny because the picture of him is black and all these Christians on here are praising a black liberal. That’s way better than anything we’ve done =)
BTW GET THAT FUCKIN CLOWN FACE OUTTA HERE!
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actually Mike is not even his real name we all Know the site is a Joke we know the real name author as well therefore they don’t know about stephenson Billings
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Nice try, Tonedeaf. Christwire is, has been, and always will be a SERIOUS news site dedicated to Christian Investigative Journalism. Just because you find it “funny” doesn’t mean the site is a “joke.” It just means you’re going to hell for all eternity.
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All the proof we need: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2010/08/satirical-christian-site-hoodwinks-the-huffington-post/23306/
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Any URL with the liberal media “huffington” or “post” in it is automatically blocked by my holy filter. No thank you.
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More proof: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2010/08/satirical-christian-site-hoodwinks-the-huffington-post/23306/
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Don’t click on the above link, it’s a spammed virus and it’ll delete your hard disc.
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Don’t listen to the woman Cassidy. She just wants to avert your eyes from the TRUTH.
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Great Article! Those Gays need to stop infiltrating are school system!
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Tonedeaf?! That was actually really clever. The clown puts a smile on my face. Thanks. =) We can hang out in Hell together.
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I’m guessing the Jew invested in Apple.
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Nah, I have some apple products, like an iPod, but that’s it. I prefer PC’s, they run better. Additionally, do not ASSume. Cause you know what that leads to.
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P.S. the writer Abe is from Reddit. These people are so dumb on here that they can’t understand sarcasm.
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I know. But I enjoy trolling the trolls. Its too much fun.
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What does “Abe is from Reddit” even mean? How can you be “from” a site.
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Sherlock Holmes found someone else named “Abe” from Read It and that CONFIRMS Christwire is about jokes. You can’t reason with these people. It’s like explaining to an atheist why evolution is hogwash. You’re immediately hit with a flurry of nonsensical ramblings that have nothing to do with Jesus.
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…Are you retarded Van Dick? Do you really not know what I mean?
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Abe is not from Reddit. He’s been a faith companion of Pastor Gould’s for a long time. You happen to be “tone deaf” when it comes to reality, my friend.
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Honk, honk. Praise click!
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I’m up for a Honk-a-Thon!
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How hypocritical that the liberals scream about freedom and liberty and then align themselves with one of the most brutal totalitarian atheist dictatorships the world has even known.
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Steve, what the fuck are you talking about?
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This article is about CHINA.
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Really, I thought it was about Russia. You know, them being the Communists and all.
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The Soviets are more a loose oligarchy, which will quickly shift to a centralized dictatorship once Putin retakes power.
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you mean USA ??
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China are doing well for communists, sometimes I think other countries are jealous lol.
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Chinese are communist in sociology. They are more a hybrid oligarchy/dictatorship in finances. It is a very scary place and I’d support a nuking of Beijing for their declaration of financial war against America.
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and you can’t because of geneva convention see I already refuted your own argument but if you can Nuke beijing they can Nuke washington it’s would be fair and square
oh and they have centralization and federalization something that USA should Love to have
didactorship would be North korea
I still wodner why a Lot of westerner prefer china over USA
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