Much like the Indians, gays love to baste in sloppy water and divide themselves into different breed castes. The Caste System of Homosexuality is a graven document the gay community adherents hold dearly. Only certain varieties of gay are allowed to comingle and our interns are feverishly working to find and reproduce that current line-up of the gay ladder.
One type of new gay on the market is called a Bearded Bovine. Much like the breed of gays known as leather daddies, a sophisticated spin on the classic Bear Back gay (called so due to impossibly thick amounts of fur-like hair covering the body), Bearded Bovines are usually older and meaty, their thick thighs known to cause the flimsy ‘bottoms’ they subdue to quake with great fear upon approach. Their rugged masculinity is only offset by one odd thing: estrogen.
The Bearded Bovine has one catch: it has to have the gene-set of XX.
When discovering this knowledge from gay insiders, I was shocked and a bit disturbed. It is already hard enough keeping up with all the gay lingo, drugs they try to trick us into taking so they can have their ways with us at parties and worse of all their gay marriage schemes, but add to it now that they are allowing women to convert to men, only to then have backside relations with a man whose too weak to let nothing but the most chaffing of toilet tissue enter reversed through his gluteal cheeks is beyond criminal.
These double converts are confusing. If they want a man, why not just stay a woman and have a ‘whoopsie’ slip of hand during bed relations? There is even prostate milking that people of questionable morals may find appealing. But this big gender swing is crazy and beyond understanding.
In other news, Chaz Bono is growing a beard.