• God Dispatches Angel to Break Andy Biersack’s Nose, Forces Black Veil Brides to Cancel United Kingdom Tour

    October 30, 2011 5:58 pm 233 comments

    Maybe God is trying to tell you something, Black Veil Brides!  For it is written:

    “Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the
    wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers
    with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord:
    walk as children of light” (Eph 5:6-8).

    What music can be more deceptive than the vain vile words of the Black Veiled Brides!  They call themselves the Fallen Angels and there is one lead singer of damnation who calls himself the same thing!  The Pied Piper of Damnation.  Satan!

    You and your Black Veil Bride ARMY are nothing CHILDREN OF DISOBEDIENCE!  Just like the scripture says, lo and behold, for greatly cometh the wrath of God!


    Behold, the face of Andy Biersack, the lead ‘singer’ of your “Army”.  Look at him tremble before the power of the Lord his God.  With but a thought, God sent the Black Angel of Halloween Damnation to the Black Veil Bride concert in London, England!

    This great and glorious story began in Luxembourg when Los Angeles “glam rockers” Black Veil Brides took the stage for their Halloween Weekend Sinsational Bash!

    Our affiliates in London protested the show and the Brides, but the dark forces are defiant.  Their supposed army of misfit hooligans ignored our words and not all parents entered their children’s rooms, and rip their children’s tickets apart as instructed!

    But that’s okay, because God cancelled the concert himself.  Liberal parents, be warned!  Your child may suffer from Andy Biersack Obsession Disorder.  It is scientifically proven that the voice of Biersack is so powerful it’s unto a million Don Juan Demons, swooning your daughter and making her think sinful thoughts of wearing black leather thongs and having Uncle Tweety’s Liquid ecstasy induced flesh lusting sessions!

    The concerts of these Veil Brides are nothing but mosh pits of hellish destruction, your child’s morals being swamped up in a blinding cloud of smoked magic mint and then if that’s not bad enough, illegal finger posturings in the minor 7th harmonic by the bassist!

    For those of you who don’t know what that means, just know it is something that will make you cringe and the sound will send shivers down your spinal cord.

    Voice piercing through the air with the ferocity of an enraged dragon, Andy Biersack powerfully delivers his dark lyrics before the crowd of screaming, naive emo children. As Biersack’s dread voice possesed them to ‘fan’ him and join his army, an angel is suddenly seen descending from heaven in the back right of this photograph. Moments later, the angel outstreched its arms and summoned God’s power, throwing the crowd in panic as they fled and Biersack was seen ‘flying offstage, as if hit by a Class 4 hurricane. The “Fallen Angels” singer suffered a broken nose, disabling him from singing. This is being seen by many as a clear sign from God.

    Biersack has expressed anguish, today his band announcing they must cancel their shows at the Wolverhampton Civic Hall and Bristol O2 Academy, as well as their signing at Oxford Street HIV, which was to be followed up by a show at London Borderline.  All cancelled!

    For now, the rest of the United Kingdom tour is cancelled and we see once more that the power of Morality has dominated an army of darkness.

    Now, for you parents in London, your children will be depressed.  They won’t get to worship their boy king Andy Biebersack and that is fine!  If they cry and try to sit in their room with their dark clothing, blaring music on their iPod and blotting out your words, burn it!  Burn their BVB posters!  Take their laptops away!  Make them wear the clothing you want!

    This is not a game anymore, my dear readers.  This is more than even a battle for your child’s soul.  This is all about their happiness and common sense.  How can those covered in all these black fabrics and clothing have anything positive in their message?  How can young men be brides unless HOMOSEXUALITY is involved?

    Biersack interviewed with Revolver magazine after the angel tossed him off the stage, onto his face.  He claimed all he felt was “rolling around and being crazy”, much like being caught in a mighty wave crash from the rolling Pacific!

    After being visibly thrown from the stage, a shocked Biersack explained,  “I jumped up, but I was still in shock and … I started getting really dizzy and stumbled my way offstage and got to the backstage area. I positioned myself in front of a mirror
    and saw it was huge and ridiculous. And that’s when the pain set in and it was pretty excruciating. But there wasn’t a lot of bleeding or anything because of where it broke.”

    Let this be a lesson to you all. Never challenge the authority of my words or that of God! Black Veil Brides wear black clothing and that is booga booga terrifying! Booga Boogga is a the African somali word for “black death witch!” so you know it’s just evil!

    Evil is as evil does, and so if you don’t want your children having blood lusting Twilight sessions in Hot Topic’s secret VIP rooms or coming up pregnant with herpies then keep them away from BVB concerts!

    If your child naturally cries and complains, upset because you made them tear down their Biersack posters and burned all their black gothic emo clothing, threw their white face paint away and took away all their knives, pens and cds, don’t worry! Tell the little naive minded harlots that it is your house and your rules! They will be homeless little waifs in the scary foster care system if they defy your authority again!

    You children will straighten right up. No Black Veil Brides. You’ve seen what God did to Biersack, just imagine the fate awaiting your child’s soul if you let them continue to freely listen to this music when you do not like it! They can only listen to what you like, for it is written!

    Proverbs 22:6
    Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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