Glam Rocker Steven Tyler was served bad food in the Mexican state of Paraguay earlier this week when the he slipped in the shower. Tyler fell so hard that it knocked off all makeup and left his natural face to be seen by all. Because Paraguay has no electricity, trained health care personnel, or anyone with even a GED equivalency, the “musician” was flown to Buenos Aires, Mexico to have emergency plastic surgery and have his makeup replaced. He then swallowed several balloons worth of illegal drugs and was muled back to Paraguay where he performed Wednesday in front of a record crowd.
“We rocked,” Tyler added. “We broke the house record. So not only did I break my face but the next night we broke the house record. Life is beautiful.”
He has just one day’s rest before performing again at La Plata, Argentina, on Friday.
Tyler is best known for singing transvestite love songs and for having a daughter who unfortunately looks just like him.
In Other News
Biker gangs fight at Starbucks
A turf war between the Hells Angels and the rival motorcycle gang Vagos that has left several men dead.
The recent bloodshed can all be traced to last year’s push by Vagos, founded in the 1960s in a Southern California desert community, into the northern coastal town of Santa Cruz, long claimed as Hells Angels territory, police said.
Tensions boiled over in January 2010, when members of the rival gangs, some wielding ball-peen hammers, fought at a Santa Cruz Starbucks before scattering as police arrived.
“Only in Santa Cruz would you have biker wars over who’s going to control pumpkin spice lattes.” Santa Cruz Deputy Police Chief Steve Clark said.