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I am Extremely Terrified of Midgets
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I need to take a moment to collect myself, I just saw a midget playing basketball in a movie… I will continue this article in a minute.
Midgets are very small people who look like babies, but without the cuteness. Babies show God’s love while these tiny “people” are spawns of Satan.
I hear it constantly “Midgets are people too”. Prove it to me, and I might agree. Every Concert or Film Premiere that I have gone to, when I have seen a midget, I jumped behind the nearest B-list star and cried.
A few years ago, before I became a celebrity, I went to a concert with my friends. We had to camp there because it was 300 miles from my home, but that didn’t seem like an issue. It became an issue soon though. A female midget snuck up behind me in their sneaky ways and asked for a lighter. She had a normal voice, so I turned to hand her my lighter and then noticed that she was a Gerber Baby reject Adult. I instantly jump behind my girlfriend and scream for the police to come to my rescue. The Police never showed up, but I blew on my “Rape” whistle enough to make the midget leave.
I have had many encounters with the “Height Challenged” since then. I still find them scary. I think they look like Humans, only smaller. They have fingers that look like “baby” carrots and giant heads that even a human couldn’t hold up properly. How do they hold their heads up? Black Magic? Satan? Leprechaun Charms? Nobody knows, but EVERYBODY knows they are up to no good.
I got on the public transit train in my city, (because I care about the Enviroment and don’t drive my Hummer H2 everywhere I go) and I was alone on the train car until we got near a “Mall”. I felt fine with the Hipsters, Emosexuals Blacks and Homeless that would normally come on the train, but I was treated to 50 midgets instead. I felt like I was Gulliver and the train was Lilliput. I literally rocked back and forth to keep them from tying me down.
If you have a hard time believing how evil these things are, I have found some videos to share.
I warn you that NOBODY should watch these, but if you must, make all Women and Children leave the room and Pray before pressing “Play”.
Here is one of them drinking Satan’s Nectar:
Here they are showing their violent tendicies:
Here is a Self-Hating one:
You can see their evil in this video. They promote “Small Power” and wear Klan hoods. Horrible:
Based on the facts I have proven to you in this report, I believe it is time to end the midget threat. Obama has yet to even speak out against this Terror cell, yet he expects to be Re-Elected???
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2:23 pm
o come one really there just short that`s all im my self am short for my age but that`s only because i was born at 6 months and being short is not a sin i don`t see how you can ever talk the amount of bullshit you say here and yes they are people with feeling just like anyone else
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2:29 pm
I hope they speak better English than you. I’m sure their Daddy Satan taught them proper language skills to ensure that them could infiltrate regular society virtually undetected. They are sneaky!
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2:34 pm
Bruce, this poster is from the U.K. and just like their teeth, their English is rotten.
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2:58 pm
were do it think English come form that`s right England and we do not have rotten teeth
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3:00 pm
you*
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12:34 am
Can we get a translator for this person’s comments please?
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3:37 am
how sad that they only came up with ONE correction for their comment!
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2:36 pm
You’re a spawn of Satan for spreading lies and hate you bastard.
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2:57 am
Are you a midget?
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3:38 am
mentally LN is the shortest midget ever
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2:47 pm
This is all fake. That last video is a spoof.
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3:30 pm
These people walk among us? I’m going to have to look down more often.
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4:37 pm
yes august Look down more often and if you bump into a Post I laugh Mya ss at you
seriously ya just a Bunch of jackass and wussie who are scared of everything america the land of the “brave” really ?
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7:13 pm
Why do you capitalize unnecessary words?
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7:42 pm
Why do you bother commenting Anymore? you Never had any good Points to make.
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7:48 pm
You make nothing but lies and hateful statements?
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8:43 pm
Why haven’t you killed yourself yet? You have yet to contribute anything good to society.
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3:39 am
the same could more easily be said about you, claire dear.
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4:20 pm
Last time I checked, Bruce was a DJ, whereas I’m studying to be a vet tech – you know, somebody who helps animals? I’d say the latter is much more important to the world.
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7:54 pm
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS!!!
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3:40 am
every thing is a joke to you isn’t it, whorelot!
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8:56 am
Look who’s back.
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8:54 am
Haha. I know right! Hey, Bruce, if you’re so scared of small things, you must be absolutely mortified when you look at your penis.
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9:23 am
I know you were meaning that to be an insult, but as I am very secure in my Sexual Prowess, as Claire could have attested to had she actually consumated our marriage, I am not offended.
Also, you may want to inform yourself more about the size of male genitalia. Sister Susan gave a wonderful guide awhile back, try reading it.
http://christwire.org/2011/05/do-christians-have-the-largest-penis/
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11:46 am
Biased.
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11:49 am
If “Biased” means “Well Researched and Full of Facts”, then yes it is.
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12:15 pm
No, biased means opinionated. Of course a Christian would think they have the biggest dick.
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1:52 am
There are my hot-ass wives. As for this article, ARE YOU RETARDED?!
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1:58 am
Yes, they are.
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11:47 am
Damien, please do not call Stormie and Alison retarded. I happen to really appreciate them now. They haven’t fully embraced God’s love, but they have come a long way from what they were posting a few months back. Hopefully, you can learn something from these girls.
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