• I am Extremely Terrified of Midgets

    October 20, 2011 1:48 pm 30 comments

    I need to take a moment to collect myself, I just saw a midget playing basketball in a movie… I will continue this article in a minute.

    Midgets are very small people who look like babies, but without the cuteness. Babies show God’s love while these tiny “people” are spawns of Satan.

    I hear it constantly “Midgets are people too”. Prove it to me, and I might agree. Every Concert or Film Premiere that I have gone to, when I have seen a midget, I jumped behind the nearest B-list star and cried.

    A few years ago, before I became a celebrity, I went to a concert with my friends. We had to camp there because it was 300 miles from my home, but that didn’t seem like an issue. It became an issue soon though. A female midget snuck up behind me in their sneaky ways and asked for a lighter. She had a normal voice, so I turned to hand her my lighter and then noticed that she was a Gerber Baby reject Adult. I instantly jump behind my girlfriend and scream for the police to come to my rescue. The Police never showed up, but I blew on my “Rape” whistle enough to make the midget leave.

    I have had many encounters with the “Height Challenged” since then. I still find them scary. I think they look like Humans, only smaller. They have fingers that look like “baby” carrots and giant heads that even a human couldn’t hold up properly. How do they hold their heads up? Black Magic? Satan? Leprechaun Charms? Nobody knows, but EVERYBODY knows they are up to no good.

    I got on the public transit train in my city, (because I care about the Enviroment and don’t drive my Hummer H2 everywhere I go) and I was alone on the train car until we got near a “Mall”. I felt fine with the Hipsters, Emosexuals Blacks and Homeless that would normally come on the train, but I was treated to 50 midgets instead. I felt like I was Gulliver and the train was Lilliput. I literally rocked back and forth to keep them from tying me down.

    If you have a hard time believing how evil these things are, I have found some videos to share.

    I warn you that NOBODY should watch these, but if you must, make all Women and Children leave the room and Pray before pressing “Play”.

    Here is one of them drinking Satan’s Nectar:

    Here they are showing their violent tendicies:

    Here is a Self-Hating one:

    You can see their evil in this video. They promote “Small Power” and wear Klan hoods. Horrible:

    Based on the facts I have proven to you in this report, I believe it is time to end the midget threat. Obama has yet to even speak out against this Terror cell, yet he expects to be Re-Elected???

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    About The Author
    Bruce Myron Danus Years of Mental Gymnastics, and lots of love from Jesus has made this man realize he was not "Born this Way", but instead chose to be a Homogay until he met God and realized God doesn't make mistakes like a homogay.

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