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More Proof of Why Cats Must Die: Savage Gang of Lions, Tigers, Bears, and Cheetahs Kill Zanesville Wildlife Preserve Staff, Terrorize Town and Force School Closing
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Abe
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lions tigers bears zaneseville ohio zanesville ohio exotic animalsLions, tiger and bears, and cheetahs. Oh my! Grab your shotguns, good readers, because there is some cat hunting to do in Eastern Ohio.
Jungle warfare has broken out in Eastern Ohio as sheriff’s deputies are currently in a standoff with over 12 dozen wild animals. The unholy menagerie of mauling mauraders started yesterday, when reports of animals fleeing an ‘animal sanctuary’ began to be tweeted by Toledo locals and nearby residents of Licking County, who organized the town’s miltia.
It’s like a ghost town. All is still and only the most eerie, howling winter winds can be felt on the skin. In the distance, the ornery pants of beasts yearning for human flesh in the grainiest grays of dusk’s emergence. It is scary and frightening. These beasts are like no other and their appetite will only be met with the screams of our fleeting lives. — Annabelle Adams, concerned mother in Zanesville, Ohio.
Flashing signs litter the highways of eastern Ohio. On the signs display this message: Exotic animals on the loose. Beware, beware! Call 911!
As described in the statement from Annabelle Adams, the streets are dismal and lonely. But only hours before, when the first news reports of the savage, demented beasts overtaking the town first emerged, it was a scene of chaos.
Men tore home from the work office, frustrated by their own fear and madly demanding their children be brought outside the class to only flee home and take barricaded shelter. Mothers scurried and hurried to Wal-mart, stocking up on supplies and ensuring their families were safe and together.
Police reports soon confirmed the worst of what was initially unofficially reported: residents who lived near a wildlife preserve were being dragged off by savage creatures resembling lions, tigers, cheetahs, leopards and wildy grizzly bears, the most deadly of the Earth’s cats. These beasts are said to be at least double the size of normal, battling with frustrated battalions of sherriff’s deputies who are reporting losses and that not even direct SWAT team barrages of shotgun bullets are fully damaging these animals.
While it is unconfirmed how the animals plotted it, the carcasses of what appears to be Zanesville Zoo staff have been found all throughout Eastern Ohio. It’s just like Planet of the Apes, but being played out with the most dangerous of beasts, cats.
Zanesville police are sharp and trained, using night vision to capture the animals by surprise and warding off liberal concern from PETA, more concerned about the mauling legion of savage cats than the harm they can bring to the innocent people in the community.
The situation is so dire, that all schools in Eastern Ohio have to be closed.
Advice given to residents is if an animal is encourtered “Don’t run, just scream”. Residents of nearby Licking County have called upon their SWAT Team calibre militia to help run down these rogue cats. Reports state that the unholy menagerie of cats must be Egyptian in nature, for they have used the powers of Satan’s chief demon Set to lure other animals into their war on mankind.
Reported in the Lurid Legion of 48 Exotic Beasts, as it is now being called in media, are also three humped camels, red-eyed wolves who howl at the daylight sun and even more terrifying, bull horned giraffes. It is a sick genetic abomination of the worst of Africa and I bet just like anything else involving giant Africans, our suburban daughters are in the most danger. I will be calling Ohio to see where me and my shotgun can be put to use. This is all the more proof of why cats cannot be trusted.
9:49 am
This is such bullshit no animals killed anyone the sheriff are killing the animals so no humans get hurt. The town is not terrorized for any reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get the facts straight before you claim the truth!!!!!!
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10:05 am
I call BS on this article
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10:06 am
You are a fucking lunatic!
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10:21 am
You are so full of lying bullshit you stupid fuck. No one has died,except for the owner who shot himself, there was 48-52 animals not 12 dozen, and they have all but 3 been accounted for. It pieces of shit like you that hide behind some religous cloak of shit that starts all of the stories, go back to reading your fucking bible and shut the fuck up. Oh and by the way,it’s not “Your Country”
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10:41 am
Where is Obama when all this is happening? Probably whining about healthcare somewhere. Thank you Mr. President, hundreds of Americans are dead because of your inaction.
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11:48 am
And it’s Obama’s job to take care of a zoo why?
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12:08 am
A Herman Cain presidency would not allow this.
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12:19 am
What does the president have ANYTHING to do with what happens out of his power? What, are you saying the president is responsible for each and every single problem that occurs to anyone at any given time? Does that mean it’s Bush’s fault that my friend’s leg was broken back in 2003?
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12:23 am
Did your friend die or was his leg healed?
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12:28 am
I want my question answered, was it Bush’s fault that my friend broke his leg back in ’03? Failure to answer that question with either a yes or a no means that you’re a hypocrite and coward.
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12:33 am
Bush healed him.
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12:53 am
So you admit that you’re a coward and a hypocrite.
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6:28 am
No, that was your friend’s fault. If Obama weren’t so busy campaigning, he could have forseen something like this in Ohio and setup a protocol for officers being trained in detaining massive outbreaks of animals. Now we know terrorists can simply raid a zoo, release the animals in any US city and we have no real protocols for protecting the citizens. Obama is just too distracted, like an airhead have-it-all at Harvard. He’s not focused and we need a man from the GOP to take over.
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2:42 pm
So it’s Obama’s fault that someone set up a zoo, went nuts, and released all the animals and killed himself, yet it’s not Bush’s fault that my friend was walking along normally when he stepped on a dirt patch that had a rather deep hole in it just under the surface. You’re telling me that it’s not Bush’s fault, that Bush couldn’t have set up people to maintain the consistency of the ground? Terrorists could easily just come over here and plant mines now.
You’re a hypocrite, you know that Tribal boy? Why don’t you actually take a look at what you’re saying before you run your mouth off.
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2:47 pm
Your friend is alive and well, and that all occurred under Bush. Under Obama, the animal owner is dead along with the animals.
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2:50 pm
Where did I say my friend was alive?
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2:58 pm
We looked it up; he survived through the Bush presidency.
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3:01 pm
Oh really? What’s my friend’s name then? If you have the ability to know who I’m talking about, surely you’d know that. Go on, go into detail about how he survived.
The fact that he actually died due to an infection shortly after breaking his leg shouldn’t get in the way of things, right?
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10:17 am
President Obama is not a zookeeper.
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2:49 pm
since when a Bear is a feline ???
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2:50 pm
“Jungle warfare has broken out in Eastern Ohio as sheriff’s deputies are currently in a standoff with over 12 dozen wild animals.”
Last time I knew, the amount of animals was only 50, not twelve dozen. Twelve dozen animals would be one hundred forty four.
This is bullshit and fake.
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5:23 pm
Bears are not now, nor have ever been in the past, cats. They are bears. Its that simple.
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6:33 pm
Ursine and Feline are of the same section of the Ark.
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7:20 pm
Well, here in the real world, bears and cats aren’t related.
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11:32 pm
According to you, felines weren’t on the Ark at all. Get your fucking stories straight, douchebag.
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11:45 pm
Wrong ark. Please try and keep up, visitor.
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12:02 am
How many special arks does the bible mention? Or rather, how many special arks do people usually talk about when it comes to the bible?
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12:06 am
Our church, which hosts this site, believes in two arks. We have covered this in the past.
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12:15 am
What? When? Or rather, why does it even matter when the one ark people think of, especially when it comes to transporting animals, is Noah’s Ark from the Bible during the flood?
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4:01 pm
You’ve never discussed two arks, noob.
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4:04 pm
Yes spinster, we have.
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4:07 pm
No Dracula, you have not.
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4:11 pm
Would you care to wager?
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4:14 pm
I would, if wagering didn’t require the eventual exchange of addresses and other personal information.
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4:15 pm
How about you agree to leave and never come back?
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4:17 pm
Hah! Fat chance, noob!
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5:40 pm
Bears aren’t cats, and it was only like fifty animals that the owner LET LOOSE before he KILLED HIMSELF.
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7:14 pm
Diseased herpes monkey still on the loose. Given Herpes by gays:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44964272/ns/us_news-life/t/monkey-herpes-still-loose-after-animal-farm-mayhem/
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7:19 pm
You can’t even define what a homosexual is, so why do you want to act like you’re intelligent on any level?
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7:40 pm
And where in that article does it say that the monkey was given herpes B by a gay person?
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11:23 pm
Sad sad ending. Among the dead are 18 tigers, nine male lions, eight female lions, six black bears, three mountain lions, two grizzly bears, one baboon and two wolves.
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12:11 am
sounds like a good start to me
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12:14 am
How about we make you apart of that count? Maybe then there will be a silver lining to the story.
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6:30 am
Glory! I’m sad to hear about the wolves and the baboon, though. They would have made great creatures for zoos, the bears as well.
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2:43 pm
Again, too bad you weren’t apart of that count. God knows that you’re worthless, all things considered.
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3:09 pm
ZOOS!? While I do enjoy going to the zoo, it saddens me to see majestic animals such as wolves, and big cats, behind bars in cages. It just breaks my heart.
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7:23 am
If Cats are so “Evil” why in fuck did Noah have them on his ark in this bible fable? By the way you idiot, Zanesville, Ohio is nowhere near Toledo, with all your fucked up information, no wonder you believe in the bible.
And here I thought you religous people thought “We were all gods creatures”
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10:52 am
My brother suggested I would possibly like this blog. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not consider just how so much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
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