Parent Warning: New Twilight Film “Revalation” To Hit Theaters, Poster Available
Several months ago, I gave a full movie review for the demonic vampire gorefest that goes by the name Twilight.
Media – Read Abe’s movie review for Twilight Film
After watching Twilight breaking dawn, I could not get to my computer fast enough to rate it S for Sinister. Thousands of parents called and wrote to our studios, expressing outrage over all the secrets facts of the Twilight genre and how the government failed to put adequate warning on the books and the movies. Many parents did not understand how cultish and evil this movie truly was and their children may now suffer irrepairable psychological issues and disease precipitated by watching this movie that encourages blood drinkings pacts between our kids.
The only silver lining in all that mess, and I know many of you dear readers are still concerned, is that we thought the Twilight genre was finished. There were allegedly no more books to destroy and movies to banish and boycott, yet, we see the Twlight genre is releasing a new movie. They are calling it Revelation and it is certainly a rip on the final chapter of the Bible.
Vampire armageddon. What do you think your teen will do when seeing this film? Just look at the preview poster:
What’s even more terrifying is this Revelation Twilight movie has been bumped up for a November 16th release. It will be all in French, so children will be even more confused by the cult imagery and light tricks caused to overtake their minds and make them malleable to suggestion.
People who are addicted to this series are no better off than those addicted to crack rock. Even if you forbid you children to see this movie, they will just sneak into your purse or sell a vase to get enough money to get a good eyeful of Bella exposing her firm, toned body to the sparkling scepterwag of the boy named Edward Mullen. What’s worse is the Mexican werewolf is in this film and it looks like his family is joining the pack.
This movie is all about the occult. When JR Rowling wrote this book, the Mormon housewife wanted to do a film that makes young women interested in multiple mates, a keynote part of Mormon conversion. What better extreme than to make a young woman fantasize between a slim-waisted emo, his bedroom hair passing for ‘Hollywood chique’ and bedroom eyes a lurer for her fish cave. What sort of sick people would let their daughter go drool over glistening Mexican eye-candy, the wolf boy as his roid rage veins pop in his arms in every other scene, chest heaving as he wants to bury his doggy bone within Ella from behind.
Watching the movies let you see inside the perverted minds of Mormon wives. They fantasize about magical, fantastical scenes of flying viagra monkeys and golden tablets appearing in Utah, all shiny and confusing as their husband introduces her to the rest of the harem. Don’t try to say this is outlandish when it’s the textbook telling of the book of Mormon. You can bet Romney is a honorary producer of this filth and I spit on it.
This new Twilight movie will be hitting the theaters soon, my friends, so let’s make Satan’s opening weekend in November a bust by spreading the word and boycotting the last and hopefully final edition of this tragically bad movie series.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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3:19 am
Let me go ahead and and say this.
Your article is FAKE. Completely untrue.
Here is why:
1. The poster is in french, because it is from France. Movies premiere worldwide. Which means that they need to create different posters in different languages.
2. JR Rowling? Really?! You mixed 2 authors of totally different novels.
Please edit your article. You just sound ignorant.
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1:39 pm
He does that all the time. He says that JFK Tolkien wrote HP. He is an idiot, and doesn’t know the difference between any of them.
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3:58 pm
Just look at the image they are using that they picked up off the inter net, all thats missing is a jug and washboard.
susans image is just some old abused lady from some site back in 07.
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5:11 am
Well, terrible writing aside, I for one agree. But not for the same reasons. I’d rather watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At least she didn’t become suicidal when her boyfriend left her. What a good lesson to teach tweenage girls!!
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11:04 am
Roll willpower.
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12:07 pm
Okay, sweethearts. While I am no sparkly-vampire fanatic, I do enjoy the books occasionally. So, let’s get started, shall we?
I’m starting with the article, then the poster, which pretty much debunks everything.
- //Thousands of parents called and wrote to our studios, expressing outrage over all the secrets facts of the Twilight genre and how the government failed to put adequate warning on the books and the movies.// That I highly doubt, seeing as nobody believes you. In case you didn’t notice, everyone hated that article.
- //The only silver lining in all that mess, and I know many of you dear readers are still concerned, is that we thought the Twilight genre was finished. There were allegedly no more books to destroy and movies to banish and boycott, yet, we see the Twlight genre is releasing a new movie.// Well, Meyer was planning on rewriting the series from Edward’s view. And duh they are releasing a new movie! The Breaking Dawn movie is split into two parts, and neither has been released yet.
- //They are calling it Revelation and it is certainly a rip on the final chapter of the Bible.// They are calling it Revelation because it is the movie where everything is revealed.
- //What’s even more terrifying is this Revelation Twilight movie has been bumped up for a November 16th release. // It’s always been set for November 16.
- // It will be all in French// No, that promo poster is FROM France, but it will be in English here in America. This is the promo poster from the U.S:
- //Even if you forbid you children to see this movie, they will just sneak into your purse or sell a vase to get enough money to get a good eyeful of Bella exposing her firm, toned body to the sparkling scepterwag of the boy named Edward Mullen.// Firstly, the movie has no explicit sex scenes or it would be rated R. Second, his name is Cullen. Mullen is my friend’s last name. C-U-L-L-E-N. Cullen.
- //This movie is all about the occult. When JR Rowling wrote this book, the Mormon housewife wanted to do a film that makes young women interested in multiple mates, a keynote part of Mormon conversion.// Not about the occult, the author is Stephenie Meyer, and Bella ends up with one ‘mate’.
- // They fantasize about magical, fantastical scenes of flying viagra monkeys and golden tablets appearing in Utah// O.O Oh my… “flying Viagra monkeys”? *headdeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddesk**facepalmfacepalmfacepalm* I am speechless at that one I am laughing so hard.
- // This new Twilight movie will be hitting the theaters soon, my friends, so let’s make Satan’s opening weekend in November a bust by spreading the word and boycotting the last and hopefully final edition of this tragically bad movie series.// It’s not the last movie, there is still one left, and if Mrs. Meyer decides to write more, then there will be more. It’s not a particularly good movie and book series (my personal opinion), but it is far from the worst.
Now on to the poster:
- The translation is “Twilight” “Chapter 4” “Revelation”
- Chapter 4 is in reference to the fact that it is the fourth movie.
- Revelation is in reference to the fact that it is the movie where all will be revealed.
Thank you, and have a nice day.
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12:08 pm
Correction: It’s always been November 16 in France. It’s the 18 in the U.S.
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12:09 pm
And movies are only 8 dollars. The same amount of money every teenager has stashed away in their sock drawer. Hell, I have twenty stashed in my sock drawer.
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3:08 pm
Our church is sponsoring a veggietales marathon as an alternative to this event.
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8:52 am
good for August Weisz hope your veggietales marathon goes well ps veggieteles sucks i also hate the twilight film but will be happy to watch them if had to chose between “veggietales” or “twilight”
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3:02 am
Brace yourself lads, because I AM PISSED!
1. Get your facts straight! The movie is NOT in French and that is the French movie release poster, as Alex has so graciously pointed out.
2. “JR Rowling”? The correct spelling is J.K. Rowling, and she’s not even the author of the book! Stephanie Meyer is.
3. Get the races right. The guy playing “the Mexican werewolf” isn’t even Mexican. He’s part Native American, ergo the darker skin.
4. When Stephanie wrote the book, it was her writing down a dream and then going from there. It had nothing to do with her “wanting to make a movie that makes young women interested in multiple mates” as you claim.
5. Don’t you ever, EVER talk about the Mormon religion that way!
“Watching the movies let you see inside the perverted minds of Mormon wives. They fantasize about magical, fantastical scenes of flying viagra monkeys and golden tablets appearing in Utah, all shiny and confusing as their husband introduces her to the rest of the harem. Don’t try to say this is outlandish when it’s the textbook telling of the book of Mormon. You can bet Romney is a honorary producer of this filth and I spit on it.”
Bitch, please! Perverted minds of Mormon wives? Get real! The entire book series was written in PG format. For cryin’ out loud, the main female character may have tried to give herself to the man she loved before marriage, but he at least had enough sense to tell her no, and she respected that. And she at least had enough decency to save herself for the person she wanted to spend forever with. Did you even KNOW that saving yourself for the ONE person you love and want to marry is one of the things we teach our youth? And I’m pretty sure Romney has NOTHING to do with the movies.
6.When have you ever read The Book of Mormon? It’s the history of our church and fills in some of the holes left in the Bible, not some porno magazine! I’ll gladly give you a copy since I keep one in with both of my copies of the Bible. And where did you get that crazed-up fruit loop of an idea that we still practice polygamy? We outlawed that so Utah could become a state and we don’t consider the groups that still practice it part of the true Mormon church.
And that’s my rant.
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5:43 am
I don’t mean to sound mean, but anyone who makes accusations about my religion like that really get me mad.
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1:41 pm
I know you can’t always trust Wikipedia, but this is a good one to read.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christwire
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