Pineapples and the dangers they pose to your christianity

Great, tasty, nice pineapples seem harmless enough,Right? But have you ever seen the blooming flower of a growing pineapple? It’s the Star of David, the Jewish Religions symbol, not in similarity, but an extreme replica.

Another note on the growing evil appeareance of the pineapple is that someone has sold a pineapple on eBay, for nearly two thousand dollars because it’s cut appearance so closely resembled the face of, Satan.

Making you read closely now? Because this is when you might want to brace yourself, pineapples are sold in extremes in the evil asian country of singapore, where buddism ranks above 44%
of the populations religion, trampling their Christian populus. They are commonly know as a cult which kidnaps devout christians, and to my disgust (graphic warning)rapes and sells them to buddist families.

Enough proof yet? People who eat pineapples are 77% more likely to become homosexuals later in life. And 33% already own a cat (the familiars of Satan).

Look no further for reasoning here, if you know someone with a pineapple allergy I believe that this a direct interferance from God, trying to show us faithful, God fearing followers a sign.

Out of nowhere do you find yourself recalling a time when you saw a blooming pineapple flower? The star says it all.

So next time you go to eat pineapples, remember what they look like when they’re grown, and where they are grown and sold so commonly. Asia.

Till next time my friends, Godbless!