Steve Wozniak’s Ghost can finally Rest In Peace because Satan has Downloaded Steve Jobs Soul to Hell
It is never fun or enjoyable to have to report on someone’s early demise, but this is possibly the closest I have ever gotten in my years of writing Obituaries. God has given vengeance to a man whose work was stolen from him, and has taking away the true power behind the Communist Asians of Japan and China. Steve Jobs passed away earlier, and hardly anybody actually cared. It was not a National or International News Story (FOX News barely mentioned it).
Here is some history behind this man’s life and the Treason to America that caused God to smite him:
He actually worked for Hewlett-Packard before College, obviously because he knew that computers built by Americans using an American operating system would rule the World, yet…
He attended a sub-par college in a Hippie town called Portland, Oregon. Oregon is considered a “Liberal” state, but other than Portland, every person in that State votes Republican. Here is where we see his downward spiral start.
After dropping out of Reed College after one Semester, he lived on a friend’s floor and returned bottles and cans for a living (What a Socialist Hippie).
He became a Hare Krishna soon after this. Hare Krishna’s are a cult, and almost as annoying as Jehovah’s Witnesses or Jews. This is strike two against him in God’s eyes.
During this time, Jobs experimented with psychedelics, calling his LSD experiences “one of the two or three most important things [he had] done in [his] life”. Now he is a drug addict as well??? Strike three!!! Normally you would be called “Out” after three strikes, but God is forgiving and patient.
Once he returned from his foray into the world of the Hare Krishna and drugs, he met Steve Wozniak. Wozniak is best known for being one of the only White men to ever serve a Prison sentence. He went to prison for hacking into Ronald Reagan’s personal e-mails and his MySpace page (I will write another article about him in the future, needless to say, he basically created Reddit and 4Chan porn sites for children).
In 1976, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne with later funding from a then-semi-retired Intel product-marketing manager and engineer A.C. “Mike” Markkula Jr., founded Apple. In 1983, Steve Jobs lured John Sculley away from Pepsi-Cola to serve as Apple’s CEO, asking, “Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life, or do you want to come with me and change the world?” The following year, Apple aired a Super Bowl television commercial titled “1984″. At Apple’s annual shareholders meeting on January 24, 1984, an emotional Jobs introduced the Macintosh to a wildly enthusiastic audience; Andy Hertzfeld described the scene as “pandemonium”. The Macintosh became the first commercially successful small computer with a graphical user interface. The development of the Mac was started by Jef Raskin, and eventually taken over by Jobs.
He was eventually fired from his job at Apple due to his incompetence and unreliability. He said “The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”
A few years later, he convinced the insane big eared Ross Perot to invest money in his failing company called “NeXT Computers”. This company was a failure as well, but Apple, Inc decided to buy them anyway. This turned out to be a smart move for them. NeXT Computers and Apple together created the Apple Store, MobileMe services, and the iTunes Store.
Mr. Jobs then went on to use his millions to create an animation company known as “Pixar”. This company has been promoting the homogay/Communist agenda with their movies since they started in 1986, which was the reason Job’s was so interested. The first movie under his new regime was called “Toy Story”. This movie was about a young boy who fell in love with a Cowboy named “Woody”. How much gayer can a movie be? Even BareBack Mountain with Heath Slater and Walking Phoenix wasn’t as gay as this movie.
In 1996, Jobs went back to Apple, crawling on his hands and knees begging for a job that he could make money at, and they accepted him back. It was at this point that his longtime friend and Co-Founder of Apple, Steve Wozniak was shanked in a Prison laundry room and killed, never able to collect his fair share of the profits. That is why Wozniak started haunting Jobs and causing him health problems.
Jobs invented many “new” technologies, all of which were stolen from Microsoft’s Research and Development teams, but none of them were life changing or important. This is the reason I don’t understand people holding Steve Jobs up as a “god”.
In 2003, Jobs decided that America wasn’t making him enough money and decided to branch out into Communist countries like Japan and China and France. 3/4 of the sales for Apple now come from Communist countries and most are their products are made there.
Steve Jobs died on October 5th, 2011. He left behind a wife and a total of 4 children. He also left behind millions of socialist hipsters who are willing to pay WAY TOO MUCH for something just for the “Logo” on it, and has depressed millions of Linux users because now they can’t steal his “Code” and claim it as their own.
I, for one, will not miss another Commie sympathizer, and hope that Apple stocks plummet and Microsoft gains the glory they deserve for being proper Capitalists.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Bruce Myron Danus
Years of Mental Gymnastics, and lots of love from Jesus has made this man realize he was not "Born this Way", but instead chose to be a Homogay until he met God and realized God doesn't make mistakes like a homogay.
7:48 am
Fuck Microsoft.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
3
8:51 am
You seem very hateful
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
12:12 am
Where do I even start?
Because this is an account dedicated to clearing up some horrible misconceptions about linux and open-source software, let’s start with a little quote from your above article:
“…and has depressed millions of Linux users because now they can’t steal his ‘Code’ and claim it as their own.”
You, sir, obviously do not understand the concept of open-source software. Allow me to to give a glass of free beer to everyone in your little Microsoft hell. Firstly, you are using open-source software every time you write a post. This website is made using WordPress, an open-source tool for web design. Furthermore, this business about Linux users stealing code is absurd! These people distribute their software under free licenses, meaning that they allow and encourage people to edit their code, finding glitches, making improvements and adding security. This is why Linux is more secure than windows will ever be, have fun with viruses. I challenge you to try a Linux distribution someday, any distribution, and end your stream of ignorant comments.
Bruce Danus: fuck you
ps. do whatever the fuck you want with your life, I’m talking to a wall, an extremist, hateful wall.
LINUX FOR LIFE
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:02 am
Microsoft is good tho. Mac has no gaming computers and games are still quite limited.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:19 am
God uses an Ipod! SHE like’s it much!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
4
8:36 am
I did not understand any of these posts. Are you from Argentina?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
8:42 am
You people trying to paint Steve Jobs as completely evil, you are wrong. He was only evil after telling Bill Gates that he was better.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
8:45 am
At that point, he convinced himself and Steve Jobs and Bill Gates joined forces to create the best O/S ever!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
9:16 am
The best O/S ended up being Ubuntu Linux, but Steve Jobs and Bill Gates helped create it.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
9:57 am
Alright, WHO HACKED MY ACCOUNT? I didn’t post any of those last 3 comments (I did post and reply to the first few though). People who are hacking or using other people’s names are basically mentally handicapped. Grow up, Please.
Also, Linux is another Communist O/S. Everybody knows that Microsoft will provide us with “Computer Salvation”.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
10:15 am
I figured it out, either it was Claire because she watched me type my password “ILuvJesus” into my Login, or it is Steve Wozniak’s ghost hacking my account. I am praying for the second choice. I can’t imagine what Claire would do with access to my account here.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
10:32 am
Observez le fou ici. Il est peur d’une jeune fille. Oh qu’il est idiot.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
11:03 am
Which girl am I afraid of? Steve Jobs was a man and Bill Gates is a man. I think you must have posted your foreign language on the wrong website.
Thank you for reading the articles here, but please post in English at least, we prefer American, but we can understand English as well.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
11:05 am
You’re scared of Claire you fool.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
2:29 pm
american is Not a Language Bruce danusif you didnt know that ya clearly stupid and strangely You know French ?? HMM fishy huh
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:57 pm
Hey Bruce, Wozniak isn’t dead you moron. What the fuck is wrong with all of you people.You all talk the talk about righteousness and good will and GOD’s love and such, but NONE of you actually seem to know what you’re talking about. The hate-speech that spews from your mouths (or fingers) is disgusting to say the least. It’s people like you that create evil and evil-doers. You are all going to hell (if it even exists)in a hand basket!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:14 am
You, sir, are a slave to the norms of society. Linux is good. DEAL WITH IT!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:28 am
Mac O/S est dérivée de Linux. Les programmes pour Linux sont si limités que la valeur de la système est degrée.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
10:38 am
Bing! Search engine does not have a “Translate” option. Please respond in American.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
10:43 am
Also, can you finish your statement about Linux? “Programs for Linux are so limited that the value of the degree system.” The value of the degree system, What??? Mr. Programmer of the Future, please explain how Linux works for me.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
10:59 am
Translators online can eat shit and so can you. Degrée, is the feminine conjugation of degrade.
Actually the OS that Linux runs is not highly supported in the mainstream programming world. Making Windows the best pc gaming platform.
I am a programmer so suck it you idiot.
I respond in French, or English. American is not a language.
Je suis fier d’être français. Mange la merde.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
11:05 am
ExMachina, That was sort of rude. I haven’t been rude to you, why do you choose to vent your anger on me?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
12:16 am
Don’t worry, ExMachina. We all dream of freeing the world from the evils of proprietary software, but let’s start with someone who isn’t an ignorant slob!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:19 am
Agreed. I do prefer mint myself… (bleh, Unity)
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:09 am
Must I type an essay of your misconceptions? And you are being rude, but hiding it in polite words. Anyone could see it. I just don’t care for people who flaunt ignorance.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:27 am
I apologize for not understanding French. I speak American. I have never tried to “hide behind polite words”, if I don’t respect you I will tell you. You have never been a problem here, you don’t agree with us, but you give your opinion and leave it at that. I appreciate that. I like people who offer opinions and then listen to other opinions and then a discussion happens. You seem like a smart person, ExMachina, so I hope I didn’t offend you with my comments about you typing foreigner’s languages here, I really just appreciate people writing in American, not Foreigner.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
2:24 pm
You kind of contradicted yourself. “you give your opinion and leave it at that. I appreciate that. I like people who offer opinions and then listen to other opinions and then a discussion happens.” A discussion doesn’t happen when a person gives their opinion and “leaves it at that”. For proper rhetoric, two people must voice their opinions and then proceed to offer provable evidence to back up their opinion.
For example, “Steve Jobs is dead.” Apple, his company, released a press release as proof of that. This is a valid point.
On Christwire, the alternate is often done. Here’s an example of false rhetoric. “Dr. Seuss has released a book teaching children to whack off.” There was no title, no website link for proof, no reference as to their source. The argument becomes invalid.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
4:38 pm
American is not a language. You speak English.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:40 pm
Just thought I would be nice and tell you that, Bruce.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
2:02 pm
what is an “Exmachina” ?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
2:12 pm
Probably short for Deus Ex Machina. Latin for G-d in the Machine.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:44 pm
ExMachina, meaning from the machine. Yes deus ex machina was my inspiration. Oh by the way it is latin
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:46 pm
Deus is not included for a reason.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:00 am
I know. Mostly cause G-d is an illusion.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:06 am
Actually it has more to do with me being a computing science major. I was implying that I am from the machine, but your interpretation was close.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:16 pm
So, the title of this article makes no sense what so ever. Wozniak isn’t dead. It should be “Jobs’.” Also, just imagine where the world would be right now without Steve Jobs. We wouldn’t have the great animated films that we have today. We wouldn’t have half the technological innovations that we can’t seem to live out lives without. So, please, stop talking.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:27 pm
The world is a safer and better place today than it was yesterday.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
3:35 pm
My G-d Auggie, you are a monster. A man dies, and the only thing you can think about is how much worse the world was with him? Which, we all know is absolutely not true. Its still a fucked up place cause of you guys.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:04 pm
You probably said the same thing about Pol Pot.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
4:09 pm
Nope. Cause I do not believe that Pol Pot, who was an evil man, ever made the kind of innovations in our society that Steve Jobs did. You also need to realize that without Apple, Microsoft really had no competition. Well, except for Linux, but only programers really use that. So…your logic, or lack there of, has failed to prove a point. Again.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:38 pm
Great News, i am glad that another enemy of God has been destroyed.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
3:47 pm
And how, exactly, was this technological genius an enemy of G-d?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:33 pm
cause they are afraid tech will soon remove there religion and how will they make money then.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:40 pm
Good point, oh webby one.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:40 pm
Great News,
Another enemy of God has been destroyed !!!.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
4:06 pm
Praise!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
4
4:09 pm
Condemn!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
4:14 pm
If it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t be doing this on computers.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:17 pm
I loved it when he dressed up like the lovable tramp, Charlie Chaplin, to sell computers.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
4:26 pm
What are you talking about? He always dressed in a black turtleneck and jeans.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:32 pm
This is a load of crap. Steve Jobs did more to bring people together than Jesus.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
4:42 pm
R.I.P. Steve Jobs, you will be dearly missed!
Don’t listen to the “authors” on this site, they have no clue what you contributed to the world.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:50 pm
And, it was a national news story. ABC interrupted Wheel of Fortune for it. G4 did an entire special on Steve Jobs. It has been all over Twitter, and Facebook, and Google, And pretty much every networking site in the world. Also, if it was mentioned on Fox at all, it made National News. So suck my cock bitch.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
6:34 pm
See Christians are the one’s with no soul!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:45 pm
For an religion that preaches acceptance and tolerance, this article seems to be very hateful and unforgiving. Beyond being incredibly factually inaccurate (Steve Wozniak is very much alive), this article is tainted by the bias of a person who clearly represents everything religious people try not to be.
While I obviously did not know Steve Jobs personally, I can confidently say that the technologies he pioneered helped many people, created many jobs, and were successful because they were innovative (not because the ideas were stolen). I think it is very sad that a person could be so mean to a person they had not even met.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:04 am
You people are sick.A person suffers and you praise his death to promote your religion or to feel better about yourselves.What a lot of sick cowards you are.
I know the whole narrow minded Christian deal,the hypcracy,the back stabbers in churches,the gossips.
God will judge you idiots for judging others.
Christainty used to be a welcoming loving faith but now it’s turned into a toxic hate mongering mega church cult.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:22 pm
I do not even know how I finished up right here, but I assumed this put up used to be good. I don’t realize who you might be however certainly you are going to a well-known blogger in case you are not already. Cheers!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0