The McRib is Back! Can it Bring Salvation to Your Non-Christian McFriends?
The elusive McRib sandwich is back nationwide in a limited appearance that ends Nov 14th. This is only the second time in almost seventeen years that this unique and tasty McDonald’s dish will be available at every location.
The McRib consists of a ground pork patty, barbecue sauce, onions, and pickles served on a 6 inch roll. It is only sometimes available in the states as a menu item. It is available as a full time menu item only in Germany. The McRib is a healthier alternative than the Big Mac or Quarter pounder with cheese and has fewer calories and fat.
How can I use a McDonald’s pork sandwich to witness to my unsaved friends?
The power of pork is very misunderstood and underutilized by the evangelical community. Many great things come from pork; bacon, ham, ribs, and sausage to name a few. Pork was given to us as a wonderful gift by God; we must honor his gifts and not turn our back to them. Some evil people though have turned their back to this gift. Here is how you can lead them to the light.
Muslims
Muslims are very weak when their faith is tested. They usually just blow themselves up rather than listen to us preach the word to them. However, if you have Muslim co-workers or friends, serve them the McRib. They probably don’t know what it is anyway. After they have consumed one or more of these delicious sandwiches, sit them down, make sure they don’t have any backpacks or bulges under their clothes, and explain to them how they have violated Halal. Share with them how their faith now hates them and views them as unclean. Let them know you love them and your church allows you to eat this every day. If things are still rough, maybe show them a sports illustrated swimsuit issue and show them what a girls knees and lips look like. You are sure to have a convert immediately. Also, you have done a patriotic act by removing a terrorist from the world.
Jewish
The Jews are a very proud and strong people, they are also hard headed. They are so stubborn that they killed Jesus rather than accept Gods will. However you can use the mcrib to change that. Serve a free or heavily discounted dinner party. This will be sure to attract many Jewish people. Serve the delicious McRib sandwich to them. Because it McDonalds, heavily processed and covered in some sauce they will never suspect its pork. After consumption announce joyfully and with dance (they love that) what they have consumed and how it applies to Kashrut. Tell them it’s a gift from the baby Jesus and that they can have more if they convert. They will most likely want a financial incentive, so be ready with your knowledge of pork futures and McDonalds stock offerings.
Vegetarians
These are easily the easily the most weak minded here. Vegetarians are usually not vegetarian for any religious, moral or health concern. They do it to be counter-culture. They think not eating meat and owning an I-Pad will give them some kind of street cred they try so hard to appear like they don’t want. However what’s more exclusive than being a hipster? The McRib. Buy them one, buy them two. While you’re at it show them how much more computer they can get in a pc over an apple for the same price. Make sure to drive them in your car so they can feel the power of a real internal combustion engine and how your vehicle glides over speed bumps and has room to stretch your legs out.
Act quickly my friends; you only have until Nov 14th.
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.MA
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Author: Senator August Weisz
Retired Hydroelectric Engineer. Now spend my time helping others who won’t help themselves.
http://christwire.org/august-weisz-biography
MA
6:21 pm
I don’t think Atheist eat meat. It shows how weak they are.
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1:31 pm
im atheist I eat meat.
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7:10 pm
August decides to try to communicate with others and proves yet again he knows nothing about society or the people he talks about.
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9:31 pm
“Jewish
The Jews are a very proud and strong people, they are also hard headed. They are so stubborn that they killed Jesus rather than accept Gods will. However you can use the mcrib to change that. Serve a free or heavily discounted dinner party. This will be sure to attract many Jewish people. Serve the delicious McRib sandwich to them. Because it McDonalds, heavily processed and covered in some sauce they will never suspect its pork. After consumption announce joyfully and with dance (they love that) what they have consumed and how it applies to Kashrut. Tell them it’s a gift from the baby Jesus and that they can have more if they convert. They will most likely want a financial incentive, so be ready with your knowledge of pork futures and McDonalds stock offerings.”
Alright, so, for the (at least) 5th time, the Jews did not kill your savior, the Romans did. Get it through your head Auggie. We accept the one true G-d’s will, and have for over five thousand years. Your use of stereotypes shows how moronic and bigoted you truly are. By using the name McDonalds, you tell them it is not kosher to begin with. You do realize that we can’t eat it because G-d said not to, and that by eating it, you go against everything that G-d put forth in the book of Vayikra. Also, you cant “convert” away from Judaism. You can only leave it behind to follow other religious paths. Only the weak willed would fall for your poorly thought out ruse. Prepare to lose this fight. Cause all of your information has failed a verification process. Therefor, your argument is INVALID.
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11:25 pm
another silly diatribe against our holy site by this dirty jesus killer
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11:38 pm
So, I am a Jewish American, not a Roman. Please get your facts straight. Also, even if the Jews did “kill Jesus,” the Pope gave us a pardon for it years ago. Therefore, your point is invalid.
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12:05 am
I do not buy into that popeism crap or yours
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12:08 am
What crap? I have no idea what you are talking about. I am speaking the truth, and you refuse to see it. You need to open your eyes, put on your glasses, and read the screen in front of you. And then, go back to the kitchen. Cause that’s where you should always be.
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11:56 pm
The biggest quandary a Jew can face is “Free Pork”.
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12:01 am
Actually, no. You are thinking of Christians. And the non-observant Jews. But they don’t keep kosher anyway, so it doesn’t matter. Remember Prissy, that you are talking to someone who has actually been taught this stuff his entire life. Not someone, like yourself, who doesn’t even bother to look up any of his information.
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12:06 am
why would we look up your information> We are not stalkers. We stay to our website we do not go out into the world looking to disagree with people, stupid jesus killer.
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12:12 am
Um, I was talking about your own information, not mine. I know mine is right, so I don’t need to look it up. You on the other hand, need to look up your own info, so that it is actually true. And, again, Jewish American, not Roman. It is in all history books, and even in your own bible, I believe.
Although, I am sure that you are one of those people that still believes that Jews make their Matzah for Pesach with the blood of Christian babies. So, I guess it is futile even trying to make you see the light.
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12:18 am
I am pretty sure “Jewish American” is NOT written in the bible anywhere.
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12:22 am
Wow, you really know hot not to read anything. Good job. You have lost once more.
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12:28 am
If you want people to understand your writing you should try being a better writer or just stick to claiming your unemployment checks
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12:34 am
You know, if I could get unemployment, I probably still wouldn’t. Mostly cause I don’t feel like mooching off the government unnecessarily. And, also, I am pretty sure that my grammar and writing skill are better than most of the people in your little fellowship. Please actually try and make a point next time, or stay in the kitchen. Thank you.
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3:24 pm
“Actually with all do respect, it was the Jews who ordered Jesus murdered. The Romans were only the henchmen or enforcers if you will.”
How do you figure that? Where is your proof? And, trust me, the Jews hated the Romans, just as much as the Romans hated Jesus, who was a Jew.
“You see Jesus was sent to earth to redeem the Jews and other false profits to free humanity.”
Wow, I wasn’t aware that he was born to a carpenter, to save the world from false earnings. You learn something new everyday.
“Now Orthodox Jews are quite similar to Christians, this is why these two groups are the only ones that can live in harmony with each other.”
How? How are Orthodox, the most religious and observant Jews, similar to Christians? They are nothing alike. Trust me, if you go to Israel, in the Orthodox communities, you will see that many of the Orthodox Jews are more like the Amish than you Christians.
“You will not learn the truth in public schools at this time…”
You are probably right, however I went to a private Jewish day school, and learned all that I needed to.
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7:49 am
Actually with all do respect, it was the Jews who ordered Jesus murdered. The Romans were only the henchmen or enforcers if you will. You see Jesus was sent to earth to redeem the Jews and other false profits to free humanity. Muslims were the first slave owners, they actually created slavery. The Blacks would be surprised if they knew the truth. Now Orthodox Jews are quite similar to Christians, this is why these two groups are the only ones that can live in harmony with each other.
If it were not for the Crusades (Christian Revolution), all humanity would exist right now in slavery under the muslims (islam). Judeo=Christians are the only people who bring Freedom & Liberty to a nation. Hence, The Founding of America.
You will not learn the truth in public schools at this time…
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3:20 pm
“Actually with all do respect, it was the Jews who ordered Jesus murdered. The Romans were only the henchmen or enforcers if you will.”
How do you figure that? Where is your proof? And, trust me, the Jews hated the Romans, just as much as the Romans hated Jesus, who was a Jew.
“You see Jesus was sent to earth to redeem the Jews and other false profits to free humanity.”
Wow, I wasn’t aware that he was born to a carpenter, to save the world from false earnings. You learn something new everyday.
“Now Orthodox Jews are quite similar to Christians, this is why these two groups are the only ones that can live in harmony with each other.”
How? How are Orthodox, the most religious and observant Jews, similar to Christians? They are nothing alike. Trust me, if you go to Israel, in the Orthodox communities, you will see that many of the Orthodox Jews are more like the Amish than you Christians.
“You will not learn the truth in public schools at this time…”
You are probably right, however I went to a private Jewish day school, and learned all that I needed to.
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3:24 pm
Jesus WAS a Carpenter, because it is much more difficult to build than to destroy. That was the symbolism GOD gave to humanity.
When I said Orthodox Jews, it was because Hassidic Jews are nothing like Christians at all.
You unfortunately do not know many true Christians. What you see on TV and in the alphabet news is nothing like a real Christian.
Christians beliefs and how they conduct their lives give freedom, liberty, and blessings to all. Liberals are not Christians, they tend to be atheists (godless). And actually atheism IS a religion. Because there is no such thing as a void in nature. Nature fills all voids with something.
The atheist mentality leads to breakdowns in society, poverty, disease, turmoil, murders, theft and the like. You can see the results of this in the last 48 years in America. It is reflected in the culture, music, movies. When America left its Christian foundation, everything that kept it strong, healthy and prosperous was lost.
The downfall will continue unless people return to Judeo-Christian values in their own lives, communities and in their government Local, State and Federal.
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3:31 pm
“Actually with all do respect, it was the Jews who ordered Jesus murdered. The Romans were only the henchmen or enforcers if you will.”
How do you figure that? Where is your proof? And, trust me, the Jews hated the Romans, just as much as the Romans hated Jesus, who was a Jew.
“You see Jesus was sent to earth to redeem the Jews and other false profits to free humanity.”
Wow, I wasn’t aware that he was born to a carpenter, to save the world from false earnings. You learn something new everyday.
“Now Orthodox Jews are quite similar to Christians, this is why these two groups are the only ones that can live in harmony with each other.”
How? How are Orthodox, the most religious and observant Jews, similar to Christians? They are nothing alike. Trust me, if you go to Israel, in the Orthodox communities, you will see that many of the Orthodox Jews are more like the Amish than you Christians.
“You will not learn the truth in public schools at this time…”
You are probably right, however I went to a private Jewish day school, and learned all that I needed to.
Now I am going to try posting this again.
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4:46 pm
I am deeply sorry that this was posted at least 3 times. I kept trying to post it, and it would not show up. Be my guest and delete the ones that are awaiting moderation. But leave one please so that it can actually be there. It would be nice to actually have my response to their comment be viewed.
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12:36 pm
Thank you for providing me with a new reason to justify my poor eating habits. Tell me, what led you to think that religion was a good excuse because I would never have thought of that.
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12:59 pm
When did being a vegetation become offensive?
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2:55 pm
When we were kicked out of the Garden of Eden.
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2:15 pm
So what you’re saying is that because two people ate one fruit at one point in history, it is wrong to be against killing animals or being misinformed about the health benefits of plants?
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12:15 pm
God created the perfect animal to be eaten, the pig. Delicious, cheap, built as meaty as possible (until we started to breed them to be lean/”the other white meat” — a tragedy), and you can feed them just about anything. They aren’t picky eaters. When one rejects pork, one truly has rejected God. It is an offense that will be punished in the depths of Hell. Eat pork, praise Jesus.
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11:40 pm
It is the sole reason that they eat anything that they are the most disgusting animals. They are filthy, and they carry diseases. Also, G-d said not to eat them. Therefore, you are a blasphemer. Just saying.
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11:26 pm
Brother August what a great article I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
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12:07 am
I thought Damian Jew Blade was kicked off the internet while I was in africa
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12:13 am
Nah, just temporarily blocked. Sucks to be you.
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12:14 am
if anyone sucks it is you.
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12:17 am
How? I am winning this little pissing match. Dumb broad. Really.
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12:21 am
How are you winning it? I went to Africa to convert countless negro souls for our great religion and your still here pathetically posting your inane disagreements here?
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12:28 am
Wow, you are really a racist little bitch, aren’t you? Negro? Wow. I am here posting facts in order to educate the uneducated.
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1:03 am
Robert, your basement isn’t Africa, regardless of what your mother told you.
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1:02 am
Ooooh, sick burn Robert, you really showed him!
And that was sarcasm by the way, I know your pea-brain can’t handle much so I thought I’d point that out for you.
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1:04 am
I know, right?
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