The moment somebody throws a hotdog at Tiger Woods is a good moment. After betraying his beautiful family, the golfing word, and really, the world at large, Tiger Woods’ career has seen a downturn. Marred by physical injury and mental lapses, Tiger is not once the proud predator of the green after he was caught having an affair with multiple night walkers.
But today, a great moment of some sort of karma took place when a random hotdog ironically hurled through the air so beautifully, perhaps the phallic nature of the falling weiner in the bun a euphamism for everything Woods’ life represents.
Sadly, the 31-year-old hurler didn’t have a strong arm or the winds worked against him. Officials report the hot dog barefly reached the green and didn’t solidly strike Woods. It did not stop Santa Clara sheirff’s deputies from tackling the man and treating him worse than the Iraqi shoe thrower.
Said Woods of the incident:
“Some guy just came running on the green, and he had a hot dog, and evidently … I don’t know how he tried to throw it, but I was kind of focusing on my putt when he started yelling,” said a visibly shaken Woods. “Next thing I know, he laid on the ground, and looked like he wanted to be arrested because he … put his hands behind his back and turned his head.”
The man was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, a happy martyr who stood against cheating power celebrities like Woods.
“He was very cooperative,” said Sgt. Cardoza. “They said, ‘Why did you do this?’ He just shook his head in guilt or remorse. He didn’t give a reason why he did it.”