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The United States of Scary Things
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Many people assumed that when America was given the Edict of Manifest Destiny, to tame the savage lands ruled by beasts unknown and painted warlords whose chanted cries unto Satan could be heard burning up thte slightest winds under a blood moon, all was safe. It was thought that with the fall of the Indian tribes, placing them into learning centers where they could be taught proper ways of life and broken of Satanic ritual, that America was finally safe.
And with the defeat of the Japanese in the Pacific and the USSR in the 80s, it finally seemed America was completely removed from all terror, if even for a season.
But we know such is not true. Terrorists still exist and eventually we will need to nuke Beinjing to ensure American dominance and no Cold War II. But there is still a threat right in our country.
No, not Homegrown Terrorists. They are not the focus today. Today, I’m talking about Unknown Terrors that will scare you senseless.
Every state in America has one main thing that is a great danger to you. The locals know of them and usually how to flee those dangers, but sadly, everyone does not. Especially visitors. America is still greately untamed my friends, but we have a constructed map that will let you know the biggest dangers presented by each and every state. Behold:
11:30 am
Today is the end of the world you would think they site would have warn everyone. must not be true christian then to just ignore it.
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12:13 pm
Camping is an idiot. We’ve covered that issue years ago and if you are a true Christian, you understand no person knows the end of days. Anyone claiming such is a false prophet, which IS warned about in the Bible.
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1:26 pm
Then why is Harold Camping a ‘good friend of Christwire’?
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11:40 am
Every day I am thankful I don’t live in Massachusetts.
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11:51 am
Why’d you forget bourbon street? That’s scarier than the floods. Wait a second, we only flood during HURRICANES AND HEAVY RAIN! Sheesh.
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2:33 pm
nuking beijing ?? again you have such a fascination to Nuke cities/countries who did nothing against you
because you are just a Bunch of asshole ???
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3:15 pm
Thanks, I got a giggle from “Zombie Robert Frost”
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3:17 pm
Illinois should be “Obama”.
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12:51 am
Except he’s in D.C.
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3:51 pm
The robert frost one made me laugh, but jeffery dahmer in ohio, he’s dead, so shouldn’t it be zombie jeffery dawmer? And what you don’t see at all is the overlying problem for all the states, religious extremists
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12:57 am
But you can’t do a chart of the states like that, you’d have to cover the whole map for that, and besides, this site is satirical so it appears to be christian extremist, so it can’t go against it’s pretend beliefs.
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5:35 pm
Seriously, the scariest thing you can come up with for Massachusetts is Red Sox Fans? We should at least get “Gay-married Zombies” or something.
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