• NYPD Warning To Brooklyn Women: Short Skirt Sodomists on the Prowl, Do Not Wear Short Skirts

    October 1, 2011 2:36 am 63 comments

    Terrifying news today for women in Brooklyn. A pair of potentially homosexual deviants known as the ‘Short Skirt Sodomists” are prowling the streets of Brooklyn. Police are warning women to stop enticing these evil men by wearing short skirts. That is, if a woman is wearing a short skirt in Brooklyn, she should expect to get attacked and brought it upon herself.

    It’s a well known fact that many women wear very inappropriate clothing in public and to work. Women wear short skirt blouses to the office, then get flustered when their boss and co-worker’s eyes wander during conversation. Women have high-winds blow up their skirts while working past a construction site, then get all offended and cry when workers give them cat-calls and hit on them. They become puzzled when nussling a man’s barely clad thingie all night at a dancing club, wearing no pantiedrawers and short dresses, then become confused when the drunken men become enticed and expect a full blowoff.

    Women, you cannot be temptresses and not expect men to go on about their daily business. When you seduce a man with harlot clothing, you are helping Satan stiffen him with sin and bad thoughts.

    Brooklyn police got the memo. They are warning women in a neighborhood to stop dressing like harlots if they do not want to attract the attention of these two men who have been tempted too much. NYPD is being explicit in warning women that shorts skirts and dresses are simply not a good idea.

    “I think that women should be able to wear whatever they want,” said Theresa Troupson, a Park Slope resident. “I don’t think that they should be held responsible in any way for the actions of criminals.”

    Another woman named Lauren, who did not want her last name used, bemoaned to The Wall Street Journal that she was glistening with sweat, exhausted muscles rippling in shorts and a t-shirt after leaving a gym on Monday. She was stopped by an officer, along with two other women who were wearing dresses.

    The officer purportedly asked the three women if they knew what was going on in the area. He asked them if they knew what the suspects were looking for.

    “‘He pointed at my outfit and said, ‘Don’t you think your shorts are a little short?’”. She went on, “‘He pointed at their dresses and said they were showing a lot of skin.’”

    “You’re exactly the type of girls he’s looking for”, Lauren reported the officer as saying.

    NYPD spokesman Paul Browne responded to the ire of women who do not see the logic in not wearing short skirts when there are flesh attackers on the loose. The officers “are simply pointing out that as part of the pattern involving one or more men that the assailant(s) have targeted women wearing skirts.”

    A group of potential feminists named Safe Slope says the NYPD effort is ‘completely inappropriate’.

    “There have been reports that the women attacked were all wearing skirts,” said Jessica Silk, a Safe Slope founder. “Unfortunately this might be a common link between the women that were attacked but the message shouldn’t be that you shouldn’t wear a skirt. The message should be that, ‘Here are ways that you can protect yourself.’”

    Another group, called men with common sense, are telling women in Brooklyn to listen to the police. Let’s put it like this.

    If a pack of hungry lions is on the prowl in your neighborhood, sure, everyone is at risk of being eaten. But if you go and smear yourself in zebra musk, throw on a pure-fur zebra outfit and walk around in the middle of the street, can you really blame the lions when they come and savage you, ripping apart your suit and having their way with you?

    Especially if you were warned ahead of time that there are lions on the prowl?

    In the same logic, there are evil beasts on the loose. These men have forgone their civility and are prowling for prey. If you’ve watched Animal Planet or Discovery Channel, you know that a predator has a system of attack. Police are warning that these particular predators love to attack women who wear short skirts, short-shorts and mini-shorts. So as we are going into October, why on Earth would a woman in New York dare expose her flesh in one of these garments and not expect to be attacked.

    Is the freedom to dress like a Jezebel 24-hours-a-day worth it? Common sense dictates to just wear proper clothing and not bait these monsters. They want women in shirt skirts because it is enticing to them and likely makes their ‘prey’ easier to get to. That’s a horribly blunt want to put it, but come on. This is the type of feminism in the face of logic that’s hurting America.

    Don’t be knuckleheads and heed the warning, Brooklyn women. Don’t be the smeared up zebra in the field of hungry lions.

    View more videos at: http://nbcnewyork.com.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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