• What Does the Nancy Grace Warddrobe Malfunction Mean for Dancing with the Stars, America

    October 1, 2011 3:10 am 14 comments

    Who would have thought that Nancy Grace, the magic knight of accusations, would become the accused. Nancy Grace wardrobe malfunction is really the last thing you would expect to see or want to see in the day’s headlines, but yet, that’s the tragic news we must unfortunately report.

    Nancy Grace is the latest celebrity to take to the stage on Dancing with the Stars. The media figure who has made a career of sensationalizing stories and holding everyone guilty before proven innocent, has power strutted on the stage in short, revealing dresses that leave too little to the imagination. Image time:

    Now that I have you somewhat blinded yet undivided attention, let us discuss ethics. It is not right for a woman to expose her mammalian jugcrafts in such a way. If I had not edited this photograph, you would have been completely blinded by the Queen Mother’s lost brown teacup. It was the same one depicted as Angela Landsbury’s landing dish in Beauty and the Beast, and I’m going to guess even Gaston could not be tough enough to keep his lunch down after setting eyes upon this saucer.

    For a woman who goes on and on about video games corrupting kids, she sure seems to be selling the whole exposed flesh think on Dancing with the Stars. Sure, maybe she’s proud of her strong, thunderous thighs at her age. She is surely more a looker than the smug Kirstie Alley, who thinks bedroom eyes and lazy struts somehow qualify as sexy.

    If drunken elephants with eye-makeup is your thing, that’s fine, but don’t try to tell me this is a malfunction.

    Was Nancy Grace also malfunctioning as she wore a Vegas brothel dweller’s skirt and exposed thighwire as she tensed her thights and grinded her massive pelvis into her dance partner, all during family television?

    Dressed to impress: Grace looked a lot more glamorous than her usual businesslike appearance on her Nancy Grace TV series

    Is that post-coital grin going on here?

    Good score: Nancy impressed head judge Len Goodman with her quickstep, although Bruno Tonioli said her routine was a bit 'top heavy at times'

    Now in Nancy Grace’s defense, and since we at ShoutWire are devoted to the truth, we have to present both sides to the issue. Can you really call a woman a hypocrite hussy if she’s actually wearing Breast Petals.

    Nancy Grace is saying that she wore Breast Petals and the whole Nancy Grace malfunction thing is just being unfairly blown out of proportion, that all the accusations are baseless and that she’s innocent.

    Nancy Grace is so devoted to her defense, she did the ultimate and posted an image of herself and the alleged petals on her Twitter.

    Evidence: Nancy Grace claims that her modesty was kept safe on Dancing With The Stars last night and tweeted a picture of her holding a box of breast petals to prove it

    But there is just one little problem. Nancy Grace, in all her wisdom, apparently forgot about the entire evidence from video thing. The very thing they use in court to convict people, the place where the innocent are innocent until proven guilty, uses this stuff. Maybe Nancy Grace never pays attention.

    Friends, be warned, the following evidence of Nancy Grace malfunction of the chest region is now fully revealed. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wifes, and hide your husbands, because no thing seen can be unseen.

    Slipping out? Nancy seemingly experienced a wardrobe malfunction following her quickstep on last night's show

    On that right hand side, that is looking like a trumped up chocolate dot under the glimmery. That’s nipplage, brave readers. ABC news took to YouTube to also address this DWTS malfuntion issue:

    You Tube Nancy Grace malfunction on Dancing with the Stars

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    About The Author
    Adam Nelson If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.

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