Why Do All Black People Look Alike?

Abe
• ChristWire
October 1, 2011 8:23 pm100 comments

Why do all black people look so much alike? While many may call me racist for saying such things, the truth is in the chocolate pudding.

This famous example of a the newsman who looks just like the homotoucher in the photo is one case in point example. If you spend just a few moments watching hipped hopped television, it’s only a matter of time when all the ethnic rapper names and faces start to mix and blur more than chingy chong time on late night kung fu movies. One in, one out.

Many will still try to say there’s not science to my empirical observations of phenotypes, so today we shall do a scientific case study. Do black people look alike? We will use qualitative and quantitative data collection in this assay, and then we shall see the data indicate support for my hypothesis.

Q: Why do all black people look alike.

Research Methods: To see why black people, especially men, tend to look alike data is obtained comparing blacks who look alike and to show similarity. The control group is my face, which does not look black, and he variable is varying skin tones associated with the melanin-infected blacks.

Data:

1. Barack Hussein Obama versus Kanye West

To the left, we see the charlatan who masquerades as president, Obama. And to the right, the big-mouthed gangster rapper Kanye West. Kanye West is not educated and is part of the notorious Los Angeles Crisps, the street cred gang behind all the drugs and deception rappers like Justin Bieber in Los Angeles. Contrast this with Obama on the left, raised in a foreign madrassa school and a devout Muslim. Despite their difference backgrounds, you cannot even tell these two apart.

2. Bob Marley versus Wyclef John

Here we see two standard black drug users and militants who hide behind music to seem innocent. It does not even matter if we compare photographs of blacks from old times, we see they always have hundreds of dopplegangers. These black variety are of the predator hair plated form. They put their hair like the Predator in those Shwarzenigger movies and run around, spouting off commmunist political nonsense ideas and then doing smoked drugs!

Bob Marley died from a mairjuana drug overdose and Wyclef Jean is his new age clone whose trying to be president of Haiti, the very country that was struck down for their witchcraft only months ago.

3. Tia Housley and Tamara Mowery

To prevent polling bias, now we analyze the data of black womens. Here we have a black Disney actress named Tamara Mowery. Look at the fine perfection of her caramel smile but then noticed, it is again reproduced in a rival Nickoldean actress named Tia Housley! You cannot even see the differences in them because the alleles have hardly any genetic variation.

To create a white person, it takes much genetic perfection. The genes have to recombines to all sorts of special configurations to maintain perfecly silky hair, bronze kissed Georgia peach skin, all of our eye colors and sophisticated brains to control our musculature. Black bodies are very militant and efficient.

Their brown eyes and tough hair have to breed quickly, to survive the rugged adventures found in Africa. Exploding volcanoes! Lightning fast jungle cats! Flash flood on the Serenghetti stampedes! Honey bee drills!

The life of an African is quick and face-paced, like a June Bug on the crack-laced run! Their genes have to be fiddle string tight and not vary, which as we scientists know is not good for one’s genotype and phylogeny in the long run.

4. Rihanna versus Michael Jackson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In this comparative study of Michael Jackson and Rihanna, we can determine that the similarity of black phenotype is not carried upon the gender related chromosomes. Michael Jackson also claimed he suffered from a deadly skin disease named ‘vertigo’ that made his skin bleach himself and turns him white. If that were true, black people would all try to catch it!

Black people wish they had skin like white people and that’s why there are so many who get skin disorders, trying to lighten like that Sammy Sosa baseball did a few years ago. Why can’t they just be happy with what God gave them, instead of making up fake diseases for their excuse trying to look like another species of human?

Who knows, but this study shows that Rihanna and Michael Jackson look just the same. Michael Jackson is from Indiana. Rihanni is from some island that’s not America, so this is just more proof. But where does the similarity in black appearance come from if not a gender chromosome or the alleles spindles in phase 2 telokinase chiral symmetry?

Interpretation and Application

From my picture data, the estimates of European ancestry and proportional African ancestries in African Americans by US region of birth can be applied.

Two things immediately jump out.  White people do not look alike because whites are Earth’s original species, as proven by the creation stories of the Bible.  6,000 years ago, in Europe white genes took origin with the creation of Adam.  X was double-downed in haploid methods (as seen in calico cats) and the perfect Y gene was removed to create women.  Caucasian genes then perfected until genetic drift founder effects took root in Africa, requiring the human body to use its phenotypic plasticity to provide the more rugged features necessary for survival in savage Africa.

Next, black people seem to have more extreme outliers in body shapes and sizes.  Think about all the black people you know with big juiced lips and a giant horseradish watermelon biting teeth.  Think about all the black athletes who can jump over four feet high!  They can spring great distances, at least up to 8 feet long and that’s almost more than a wild cougar!

Such primal explosions in muscle power are only outrivaled by the boodshayne of old black women.  Some black women have boodshayne so big, it looks like you can have a family picnic atop.  It makes no sense how much rompus they can have back their to our minds, but it must serve some genetic prose for them to be created such a way in Africa.

 

If you look at my chart, you can see all the extremes, espcially the comical pygmies witchdoctors they will take you to see on some safaris. Sadly, you cannot trap them and I asked two safaris ago if we could trap them and bring them back home and apparently that’s illegal due to those danged Geneva convictions.


Table 2: A Black Mammy has a very large ‘Southern Hospitality’ behind, due to the amount of fats and muscles black genes cause Africans to store in their gluteal prominence region. Compare the big, thick bones of this mammy to sleek, refined European body of Scarlet O’Hara, a true Southern bell. Note how the white woman’s body is made to attract the eye and the dainty task of raising house children, whereas the powerful broad shoulders and stored fat of the Mammy can survive in the jungles and desert heats for months on end if necessary.

In the next phenotypic chart above, we have the luscious Scarlet O’hara, showing the standard, typical body of an everyday Caucasian woman.  And to her right, we have Mammy Jackson, representing a standard African.  We can see the extreme outlier body type again displayed in this black woman.

Conclusion

The data indicate that black people tend to look the same because there is less genetic variation in their genome as dictated by their ancestral groups in Africa.  Black people did not take origin until the Ham variation event detailed in the Torah.  Since pure white bloodlines have been around longer, the genes are more sophisticated and refined.  This allows white people to have purer skin, silkier hair and bodies more adapt for tool creation, procreation in homes and clearer thinking.  This may also describe why white people commit so many fewer crimes than blacks.

The results of this experiment are reproducable and a quick trip to a black church or Walmart will quickly corraborate the significant figures of my correlative datum.

Hypothesis

With a 97% confidence level of 1.5 standard deviations, I am forced to reject the null hypothesis and accept the fact most black people look alike.

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100 Comments

  • Now this is science! What wonderful work abs has done here.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 7

  • So, very few of your photos are of the people you say they are. Or at least one of the people you are talking about is not in the picture you are saying they are in. So, you fail on that one. I also don’t see the similarity between many of them. I cant really say much more of this thing.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 4

  • Ignorance at it’s best smh

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

  • What a great article!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 6

  • Blanche Beecham Blanche Beecham

    I think one important point might be camouflaged here. If you notice Scarlet nearly blends effortlessly with the greyscale of the curtains she is holding. The same could be said of Michael Jackson if he were dressed in a ball gown and grasping the drapes. Both appear to be very white.

    I think it is important to note the contrast between the Mammy and Michael tonal complexions and builds. The influence and impact of white culture and couture is apparent in the more modern Michael.

    I don’t know if this is a good thing or not. Mammy was such an endearing character.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

    • I know what you mean. When I see Mammy, I feel calm and secure, like a child awaiting a home cooked meal prepared by caring hands.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

      • Blanche Beecham Blanche Beecham

        I’m reminded of pancakes with a thick, rich buttery syrup.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

        • With a side of Uncle Tom’s Rice and some buttery grits. Now I’m hungry!

          What’s neat is here in LA, we have a restaurant called Roscoes Chicken and Waffles. If you’re known as a big tipper or bring a lot of guests, you get the ‘House Big Momma” as your waitress and she’s always one of these Mammy types. It’s really worth the extra tipping to have her preparing the food for you and serving you, just makes it taste that much better.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

          • Although I love “Gone With The Wind”, the “Mammy” image is one that glorifies slavery. Mammy was a symbol for those blacks during the Civil War era who supposedly “didn’t mind” being slaves, and even willingly stayed with their masters after the war was over.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • You’re such a negative person. Are you telling me Big Momma Ella at Roscoe’s is celebrating slavery and not her job as one of the highest paid waitresses in LA?

            You really need to stop being a country bumpkin and get out into big cities more.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • I’m a country bumpkin? Dude, I live in Cambridge! Do you realize just how many people think that Cambridge is just an extension of Boston?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • You live in the backyard of Harvard and are too afraid to show your real face. You’re a country bumpkin.

            And all that has nothing to do with the fact that you’re saying Big Momma Ella is no better than a slave. Would you like me to fly you out here to LA so you can tell that to Big Momma yourself?

            Don’t be surprised when she slaps the taste out of your racist, elitist little country girl mouth.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  • Blanche Beecham Blanche Beecham

    I also think that Rhinna just looks sneaky and untrustworthy.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 3

    • Welcome back Blanche! I haven’t seen you on here in a while.

      I learned from a professor when attending the University of Texas at Arlington (the non-liberal one) that blacks actually have an extra muscle in their buttocks that humans do not have, this explains their ability to jump and the previously mentioned extra rear.

      God loves them all, and I think that we can all learn to love these poor disadvantaged people.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 4

      • What the fuck are you talking about Winkie? Show me proof that this is true please. I really don’t want to believe this. So I wont. Ye, that’s right.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

        • It’s spelled “Yeah”, not ye, unless you are speaking 300 years ago.

          Welcome to America.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4

          • If you’re going to berate someone for their grammatical or spelling errors, you better make sure that you’re at least the equivalent of an English teacher for high school in terms of proper sentence structure.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

          • You obviously have a higher opinion of American Highschool english teachers than I do. That is why we choose to home school.

            http://christwire.org/2011/08/is-homeschool-best-for-your-christian-child/

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3

          • Well, Ye and Yeah are actually read the same, unless you are an idiot and cant figure that out. So, again, I win, you lose, suck it.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

          • Damien,

            You seem like a smart fellow, and I enjoy sparring with you, but on this one you are just wrong. And since you are not American, you should do some research on God’s english. I don’t have a problem with anyone making grammatical errors, Lord knows that I do it just about every post, but I thought you would want to know in this case how to spell the word, since it was clear that you have been misinformed and didn’t just make a typo.

            If I were to go back to Israel and met you I am sure that you would be just as friendly and helpful to me in learning Hebrew. It is not meant to be an insult.

            There are 2 means to ye, neither of them mean yeah.

            “ye-yeah” is an Afrosaxon way to say “woo wee”. The “ye” is pronounced “yay” and the “yeah”, well, something like yam but with the ‘m’.

            Centuries ago, “ye” was pronounced “‘yee” and means “your” in today’s english.

            So please keep posting here, I enjoy it, but improve your posts with the real spelling of ‘yeah’.

            If you don’t believe me, Bing it.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

          • Sir, I am not sure where you are from, but it is obviously not the 21st century. Or even America for that matter. You need to learn the lexicon of the time, and get with the picture. If you believe that we should be stuck in the 1600s with the Amish, I have no problem with you going to Pennsylvania and joining them there. But, please, if you are going to be posting on a website in the 21st century, learn the lexicon of the time.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

        • Damien, you should learn to Bing things and increase your knowledge of God’s creation:

          http://spectator.org/archives/2004/12/01/gene-gene-the-running-machine

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

  • But god is black!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

    • He’s also a woman.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

      • HE’S also a WOMAN? Not only are you worng to the point of blasphemy but your pronoun usage suggests serious gender confusion but that seems to sadly be a common trait among emosexuals.

        I blame the liberal media.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 3

        • Well, you seem to have that problem, so you must be emo. Oh, wow, I just turned your shit around on you. Can it be that I am actually smarter than you? *shocked gasp* What?

          Also, the use of the pronoun He for G-d is common use, and I was using it to denote the fact that I was talking about G-d. Also, not blasphemy. Opinion. So, since i have been told many times to actually present my opinions on here in a way that is unoffensive, well, there it is.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Darn emo Christians trying to take over the world can’t wait for the day when religion is banned world will be so much better.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  • Why are some Jewish people so pretentious?

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  • To prove that you’re a retard, you asked the question ‘why do twins look alike’. No, really, Tia and Tamara are twins. Honestly if you spent any time whatsoever doing research, you’d find out that you’re just stupid.

    “Why do all black people look so much alike? While many may call me racist for saying such things, the truth is in the chocolate pudding.”

    So you’re admitting that you’re racist. Fair enough.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

    • Where does it say Tia and Tamra are twins? They look like any other black women to me. Just because black people look alike doesn’t mean they are ‘sisters’. And if you’re trying to call them ‘sistah’s’ just because they are black, that’s pretty racist there man.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 4

  • Albert, why the clown picture? To shamed to show your face? Probably because you know you’re wrong

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • Rev. Bob Jenkins III Rev. Bob Jenkins III

    I noticed that the picture of Kanye West looks remarkably similar to Whoopi Goldberg without her glasses and wig.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  • Damien, American is the Bible’s native tongue. And before you open your mouth, make sure to remember if it was not for America your ‘people’ would all be too parched of tongue to call anything your own. Everyone else would be speaking German.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

    • “American” isn’t a language. In the U.S. most people speak English.

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      • Rev. Bob Jenkins III Rev. Bob Jenkins III

        That leads me to wonder why the African American language all sounds the same.

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    • And remember with out my people you wouldn’t be using the high tech devices you do. No cellphone, No MRI, No Microchips. I could go on since the list is extremely long.

      And, also, AMERICAN IS NOT A LANGUAGE YOU DOLT. IT IS A BASTARDIZATION OF ENGLISH. And, also, the old testament, written by the Jews, was written in Hebrew. The New Testament, written by false prophets and followers of false prophets was probably written in Latin. So, you have failed utterly, and now must burn in hell for breaking one of the Big 10. And I am talking about lying.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

      • Albert Toppers Albert Toppers

        I assume by “my people,” you mean “emosexuals.” In that case, I’m done reading.

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      • Rev. Bob Jenkins III Rev. Bob Jenkins III

        This is like saying that Jesus wasn’t white, when I have numerous pictures of him, and he looks like a typical white American from the 1960′s.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

        • Please answer these questions:
          Where did Jesus live?

          What do the people from that area look like?

          What language did Jesus speak coming from a Jewish background?

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          • I’ll bite.

            1. Wherever he wanted. He was not limited to the confines of normal man, being the Son of God. He did spend much time in the Holy Land, setting the ground for eventual Christianity to flourish via teachers.

            2. Jesus’ father was God, and since all men are created in the image of God, it is impossible to say what Christ looked like. People of the Roman Empire were mostly white, with blacks and other tones mixed in as well. Most depictions show Christ as Caucasian and even though this is likely correct, it is not as important as worshipping him. Those who refuse will burn in hell, Damien.

            3. Jesus spoke the Word of God. That is what the Bible is and his words are of utmost importance. Within the Bible, Jesus spoke Aramaic and possibly Hebrew to speak to the heathens that surrounded him. As he answers prayers of all people and can understand and communicate with all things, his ability of language is universal.

            What’s sad is how Arab Muslims and Jews fight to say Christ could only speak one language, for their natural innately selfish greed and need for complementing ego. To put the mind of God’s Son into a box like that is why some people will find themselves roasting.

            Let’s not forget, Satan spoke Hebrew and Aramaic as well.

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          • Adam, you have failed the test. Now try to answer them from a realists point of view not an idiots.

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        • The camera wasnt invented until the 19th or 20th century – a good what, 1,000 years after Jesus? so any pictures you have of him are artists renderings, and everybody’s depiction of a person when they draw or paint is different.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

      • Without the Americans, there would be no Israel or Israeli science. Also, who created the microchip?

        You should also show far more respect for the New Testament. Why do you hate America?

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

        • So, America was one of the contributors to the establishment of the State of Israel. And Israel created the microchip. So, ye, fail.

          And, since I am Jewish, I have no need to read or understand, or even respect the crazy writings of a false prophet.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

        • Also, since when does loving my ancestral homeland mean that I hate America? Your logic makes no sense.

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          • You hate Christ and you called the language of your saviors as ‘bastardization’. From the little I’ve seen of you and your words, you’re a very angry young man who needs to listen more and speak less.

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          • So, Mike, my “savior” as you put it hasn’t come yet. Since Jesus wasn’t a descendant of David, he cant be the Messiah. So there’s that.

            I do not hate Jesus, I simply do not believe that he was the messiah.

            From the little I have seen/heard from you, I can tell you are an idiotic, closed-minded bigot, and have no sense at all.

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          • and you mike watson need to get your head out of the clouds and look at the world around you he never claimed he hated america. and to be honest our version of english is just because we didn’t want to sound or spell every word like britian did since we were no longer part of them.

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  • Please all of you go die.. your all retarded

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  • You fucking idiots aren’t spreading love! Thinks all fuming hate! You don’t even know the difference between kanye west and will smith! Learn the fucking religion before you talk about it!

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  • Can’t believe I’m even responding to such stupidity…but anyway I couldn’t resist the urge. Your comparisons are WRONG! You’ve not even identified the people in the photographs correctly!!! And NO! all black people don’t look alike. Anyone who says differently is an idiot. Try crawling back underneath the rock from which you came.

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  • this is hilarious! brought me to tears…you should take this routine to the stage…you are too funny…no one could possibly take you seriously, and when they do–it’s even funnier!

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