• Why Do All Black People Look Alike?

    October 1, 2011 8:23 pm 99 comments

    Why do all black people look so much alike? While many may call me racist for saying such things, the truth is in the chocolate pudding.

    This famous example of a the newsman who looks just like the homotoucher in the photo is one case in point example. If you spend just a few moments watching hipped hopped television, it’s only a matter of time when all the ethnic rapper names and faces start to mix and blur more than chingy chong time on late night kung fu movies. One in, one out.

    Many will still try to say there’s not science to my empirical observations of phenotypes, so today we shall do a scientific case study. Do black people look alike? We will use qualitative and quantitative data collection in this assay, and then we shall see the data indicate support for my hypothesis.

    Q: Why do all black people look alike.

    Research Methods: To see why black people, especially men, tend to look alike data is obtained comparing blacks who look alike and to show similarity. The control group is my face, which does not look black, and he variable is varying skin tones associated with the melanin-infected blacks.


    1. Barack Hussein Obama versus Kanye West

    To the left, we see the charlatan who masquerades as president, Obama. And to the right, the big-mouthed gangster rapper Kanye West. Kanye West is not educated and is part of the notorious Los Angeles Crisps, the street cred gang behind all the drugs and deception rappers like Justin Bieber in Los Angeles. Contrast this with Obama on the left, raised in a foreign madrassa school and a devout Muslim. Despite their difference backgrounds, you cannot even tell these two apart.

    2. Bob Marley versus Wyclef John

    Here we see two standard black drug users and militants who hide behind music to seem innocent. It does not even matter if we compare photographs of blacks from old times, we see they always have hundreds of dopplegangers. These black variety are of the predator hair plated form. They put their hair like the Predator in those Shwarzenigger movies and run around, spouting off commmunist political nonsense ideas and then doing smoked drugs!

    Bob Marley died from a mairjuana drug overdose and Wyclef Jean is his new age clone whose trying to be president of Haiti, the very country that was struck down for their witchcraft only months ago.

    3. Tia Housley and Tamara Mowery

    To prevent polling bias, now we analyze the data of black womens. Here we have a black Disney actress named Tamara Mowery. Look at the fine perfection of her caramel smile but then noticed, it is again reproduced in a rival Nickoldean actress named Tia Housley! You cannot even see the differences in them because the alleles have hardly any genetic variation.

    To create a white person, it takes much genetic perfection. The genes have to recombines to all sorts of special configurations to maintain perfecly silky hair, bronze kissed Georgia peach skin, all of our eye colors and sophisticated brains to control our musculature. Black bodies are very militant and efficient.

    Their brown eyes and tough hair have to breed quickly, to survive the rugged adventures found in Africa. Exploding volcanoes! Lightning fast jungle cats! Flash flood on the Serenghetti stampedes! Honey bee drills!

    The life of an African is quick and face-paced, like a June Bug on the crack-laced run! Their genes have to be fiddle string tight and not vary, which as we scientists know is not good for one’s genotype and phylogeny in the long run.

    4. Rihanna versus Michael Jackson









    In this comparative study of Michael Jackson and Rihanna, we can determine that the similarity of black phenotype is not carried upon the gender related chromosomes. Michael Jackson also claimed he suffered from a deadly skin disease named ‘vertigo’ that made his skin bleach himself and turns him white. If that were true, black people would all try to catch it!

    Black people wish they had skin like white people and that’s why there are so many who get skin disorders, trying to lighten like that Sammy Sosa baseball did a few years ago. Why can’t they just be happy with what God gave them, instead of making up fake diseases for their excuse trying to look like another species of human?

    Who knows, but this study shows that Rihanna and Michael Jackson look just the same. Michael Jackson is from Indiana. Rihanni is from some island that’s not America, so this is just more proof. But where does the similarity in black appearance come from if not a gender chromosome or the alleles spindles in phase 2 telokinase chiral symmetry?

    Interpretation and Application

    From my picture data, the estimates of European ancestry and proportional African ancestries in African Americans by US region of birth can be applied.

    Two things immediately jump out.  White people do not look alike because whites are Earth’s original species, as proven by the creation stories of the Bible.  6,000 years ago, in Europe white genes took origin with the creation of Adam.  X was double-downed in haploid methods (as seen in calico cats) and the perfect Y gene was removed to create women.  Caucasian genes then perfected until genetic drift founder effects took root in Africa, requiring the human body to use its phenotypic plasticity to provide the more rugged features necessary for survival in savage Africa.

    Next, black people seem to have more extreme outliers in body shapes and sizes.  Think about all the black people you know with big juiced lips and a giant horseradish watermelon biting teeth.  Think about all the black athletes who can jump over four feet high!  They can spring great distances, at least up to 8 feet long and that’s almost more than a wild cougar!

    Such primal explosions in muscle power are only outrivaled by the boodshayne of old black women.  Some black women have boodshayne so big, it looks like you can have a family picnic atop.  It makes no sense how much rompus they can have back their to our minds, but it must serve some genetic prose for them to be created such a way in Africa.


    If you look at my chart, you can see all the extremes, espcially the comical pygmies witchdoctors they will take you to see on some safaris. Sadly, you cannot trap them and I asked two safaris ago if we could trap them and bring them back home and apparently that’s illegal due to those danged Geneva convictions.

    Table 2: A Black Mammy has a very large ‘Southern Hospitality’ behind, due to the amount of fats and muscles black genes cause Africans to store in their gluteal prominence region. Compare the big, thick bones of this mammy to sleek, refined European body of Scarlet O’Hara, a true Southern bell. Note how the white woman’s body is made to attract the eye and the dainty task of raising house children, whereas the powerful broad shoulders and stored fat of the Mammy can survive in the jungles and desert heats for months on end if necessary.

    In the next phenotypic chart above, we have the luscious Scarlet O’hara, showing the standard, typical body of an everyday Caucasian woman.  And to her right, we have Mammy Jackson, representing a standard African.  We can see the extreme outlier body type again displayed in this black woman.


    The data indicate that black people tend to look the same because there is less genetic variation in their genome as dictated by their ancestral groups in Africa.  Black people did not take origin until the Ham variation event detailed in the Torah.  Since pure white bloodlines have been around longer, the genes are more sophisticated and refined.  This allows white people to have purer skin, silkier hair and bodies more adapt for tool creation, procreation in homes and clearer thinking.  This may also describe why white people commit so many fewer crimes than blacks.

    The results of this experiment are reproducable and a quick trip to a black church or Walmart will quickly corraborate the significant figures of my correlative datum.


    With a 97% confidence level of 1.5 standard deviations, I am forced to reject the null hypothesis and accept the fact most black people look alike.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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