12 Things Every Homosexual Craves This Christmas
With the birthday of Jesus fast approaching, let us yank back the cover on the homosexual agenda once again and take a look at the naked truth sprawled out before us. Yes, even during the celebration of our Savior’s birth we cannot turn away from that dark, swarthy body of challenges posed shamelessly before our conscientious gaze. Gleaned from many years as a witness to atrocious homosexual indulgence, here is what every gay man in America is secretly working to achieve and receive, with drooling lipglossed lips and martini-fueled cries, this Christmas season.
12. Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas’ Retirement From the Supreme Court
Homosexual activists abhor the fact that this dynamically Christian duo stands up for traditional rights and the Constitution. Thankfully, gay “marriage” will never be nationally recognized in America as long as the Batman and Robin of Biblical justice wear their superhero capes in our land’s highest court.
11. Succulents
I have never understood the fascination with these ugly little plants. Design blogs like Apartment Therapy post about them breathlessly every week, to the gleeful delight of their most flamboyant readers. Maybe pansies are just too obvious? Or is it that such bright flowers clash with mid-century modern decor?
10. Lap Dance From Serbian Tennis Sensation Janko Tipsarevic
Sports hero homoeroticism is far too visible today and professional men’s tennis circuit is entirely to blame. With their half-naked practice sessions and erotic grunts that echo through hushed arenas, this game has enticed many a young man to experiment with short shorts and far worse. For same-sexers, top seed Janko Tipsarevic best appeals to their acquired taste for mealy European tennis musk.
9. The Discovery of a Lost Season of The Golden Girls
The radical agenda of these hateful little ladies has never gone away, even though their show was cancelled decades ago. Imagine the hullabaloo America’s leather daddies would throw if 26 more episodes of Maude, Betty, Blanche and Sophia were discovered. They’d be rioting for our nation’s cheesecake stockpiles like it was Stonewall all over again.
8. Oral Sodomy
“Once you get over the smell, you’ve got it licked!” Yes, that was one reader’s comment on my article exposing the growing trend of anus “rimmings” in gay America today. Foul!
7. Apple App That Detects Pubic Lice
Are you itchy down there? Do you also want an excuse to show off your iPhone and post photos of yourself shirtless to Facebook? Here’s the solution to your most urgent needs this holiday season!
6. Speedos!
Never has there been a demographic more obsessed with this disturbing form of outerwear. Not only do speedos reveal just how glutinous a man’s glutinous maximums are, they also make one’s front parts look like a dead mouse hanging by its tail. Is that what turns you on gay people, jelly and rodent carcasses?
5. Open-Ended Immigration Policy With Brazil
With their sweaty promiscuity and third world-hardened bodies, Latinos inspire much gay male fantasy. The most fetishized amongst them– the Brazilians– earn top marks (and dollars!) in the United States because they’re endowed enough to make even the old whores amongst you feel something. “Open Borders: Double Entendre Entendred” should be their slogan.
4. Permanent Solution to Back Hair
Why do homosexuals loathe the natural grit of real men? So we grow old, so we grow back hair, what’s the problem? You can’t have that hairless teen body all your life (unless you’re shelling out the big bucks for twink hookers, and I know some of you are).
3. Marcus Bachmann Comes Out of the Closet Live on Maury Povich
The liberal elites have slandered the Bachmanns in every way possible, even suggesting that a handsome and virile family man like Marcus might secretly harbor burning same-sex desires. Why would any guy turn his back on a glorious, successful wife like Michelle? Unbelievable!
2. Christwire’s Shocking New Book
No one relishes sin like an American homosexual. They love to spit on Biblical morality while fornicating like a jackhammers of obscenity, even going so far to pretend that they’re “99% Hetero” on secret sexual hookup sites like Craiglist and Manhunt. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the Christwire Handbook used as a bedside table prop so that some scruffy jock can distract you with the possibility of prayer long enough to grab you from behind, grapple you down and force you to beg for “Big Daddy’s Salty Sausage” on his freshly-ironed, 600-thread count Martha Stewart sheets.
1. The Utter Annihilation of Evangelical Wisdom in America
Yes, we all know what’s in your hearts, homosexual clickers of Christwire. Please at least have the decency to wipe that creamy chrism off your chins before spouting off on topics you know next to nothing about.
Let me be the first to wish you a very Merry Christmas everybody!!!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
9:23 pm
These gays scare me with their disease and promiscuity. I can’t believe anyone would stuff their stocking come Christmas.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
17
12:49 am
The origins of Christmas are based heavily on Pagan holidays. Christmas has very little to actually do with Jesus.
Praise or Condemn:
16 
5
1:04 am
Except for being the day our Savior was born and all. Did you forgot that part, Mr Pagan Propaganda Pusher?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
15
1:49 am
No, it wasn’t. I don’t even go to church and I know that much.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
3
3:56 am
except for there being no ACTUAL proof off this, im all for people having there own views and beliefs providing it doesnt be pushed on others
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
6:16 pm
No proof, except for the entirety of humanity, the Bible and thousands of years of civilization that is.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
8
4:16 pm
1. NO, actually it’s history. The Council of Nicea met in 325 c.e. to set the foundation for Christianity, it established the basis of Christian beliefs and ceremonies. It purposefully took from paganism so that transitioning would be easier for pagans. Almost all of our holidays are Pagan or Jewish in origin, and many Jewish traditions originate from Paganism.
2. There is NO historical evidence that Jesus was born on Christmas, I even learned that in Bible School.
All world religions branch from some form of Paganism, it is the simplest of all the religions, and one of the most peaceful, caring religions I know of. I know Atheists, Buddhists, Jews, Pagans, Agnostics, even 1 Satanist that know more about your religion, your god and your Saviour alone than 10 of you would.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
2
6:02 pm
Wasn’t Jesus born in April? I recall learning that at school watching a documentary.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
8:03 pm
Are you always so bossy? It’s a real turn off.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
6
1:30 am
ALL MAJOR CHRISTIAN HOLIDAYS ARE STOLEN FROM THE OLD PAGAN CULTURE.
CHRISTMAS=YULE
EASTOR= EOSTER
ALL SOULS DAY= HALLO’E'EN
VALENTINES DAY= LUPRICANIA
THE REASON THEY DID THIS WAS BECAUSE WHEN THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH BRUTALLY MURDERED AND RAIDED PAGAN LANDS, THE PEOPLE WERE WILLING TO CONVERT TO KEEP THEMSELVES ALIVE, BUT THEY WERENT GOING TO GIVE UP THEIR ANCIENT TRADITIONS. SO THE DESPERATE, DISGUSTING, CHURCH JUST CHANGED THE HOLIDAY NAMES, AND THE PEOPLE (YOUR ANCESTORS), RELIEVED TO KEEP THERE ANCIENT TRADITIONS, WENT ALONG WITH IT.
SINCE NO RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION HAS A STRANGLEHOLD ON THE WORLD MEDIA THESE DAYS, IDIOTS LIKE YOU ARE DESPERATELY TRYING TO CONVERT THE GULLIBLE TO CHRISTIANITY. THAT IS WHY YOU PEOPLE ARE NUT JOBS. THE FALL OF CHRISTIANITY IS NEAR. THE GENERAL POPULATION WILL SOON RELIZE THAT CHRISTIANITY IS NOTHING BUT A MONEY-MAKING SCHEME.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
12:53 pm
Someone spelled hair gel on your cap locks, little buddy.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
7
4:47 pm
It was probably not hair gel, but rather semen from this clearly antiChristian antiAmerican homogay’s sin-stick.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
9:25 pm
The do love our book and Mr. Blake’s pectoral area.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
3
9:30 pm
Gays absolutely terrify me with how many people they are getting to accept their lifestyle choice.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
14
9:36 pm
Tyson Bowers is actually a known homosexual. That’s the only way he’d know the 12 things every homosexual craves. How would you know what they crave if you aren’t one?
You need to stop being so obsessed with them if you really are straight. It really seems like you’re a repressed homosexual.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
3
10:49 pm
This was not written by me. Thank you for paying attention to in your face details.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
4
11:17 pm
even if it’s not written by you You have proved a lot of time that you know more about Homosexual than the gay themselve
Praise or Condemn:
6 
3
10:57 pm
Succulents are pretty. You’d have to be blind to deny that…
Oh my, you’re two types of blind. Bless your poor little soul.
(I guess it’s true what you’ve said, then. God punishes mockery, and what not.)
In other news, I’m commenting on this from a day before it was posted. Horray for coders not accounting for time zo- I mean black magic.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
2
1:17 am
Ah Doctor, tis nice to see you again.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
1
11:18 pm
Billings, why do you hate people, why do you hate freedom, why do you hate love? Why is it you spend every waking hour of your life finding ways to spread your hatred of the human race by picking out one aspect of it and saying how evil it is?
Did your mother not love you enough? Were you bullied as a child? You know that using those as excuses for why you’re so hateful don’t work, right?
Praise or Condemn:
11 
2
11:24 pm
Now you ask about my personal life! I have been trying to build a personal, open relationship with you for ages but you are so secretive you haven’t even bothered to upload an avatar or a link on your name even though you’ve comment here 1000 + times. I’m sorry, but I’m not getting confessional with you until I know you’re not some freaky stalker. Pic please?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
11
3:50 pm
What is wrong with you?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
6:18 pm
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
6:54 pm
That tells it all, Billings.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
7:26 pm
“CLAIRELY,” YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
8:11 pm
Was that like…an attempt at humor…or something?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:20 pm
You don’t know good humor when you see it.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
8:23 pm
That was the lamest humor I have EVER seen.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:04 pm
“Laughing Out Loud” @ Dr. Billings!!!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
4:30 pm
Dahahaha, that pun.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:52 am
he wnat a pic so he could masturbate on it he tried it a lot on Jazze and other people as well Mostly boy tehrefore billings is Indeed gay and a pedophile as well
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
11:31 pm
I’ve looked over the list and I don’t want a single one of these things. Well except to get rid of my back hair. It’s rather annoying and can itch at the most inconvenient times.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
12:41 am
I thought Christians were supposed to be tolerant people.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
2
1:08 am
We are. This site has nothing to do with real Christians.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
3
2:05 am
“Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” –2 Timothy 4:2-4.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
9
4:07 am
yup, that describes religious fanatics turning away from reason perfectly
Praise or Condemn:
8 
2
3:35 pm
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MR BILLINGS SEE A PENIS
????? it goes in his mouth SUCK IT
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
7:28 pm
That’s foul. I am 200% heterosexual here.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
4
7:34 pm
Yet you’ve never been married.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:05 pm
I’m flattered but you’re too young for me, princess.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
8:09 pm
Great way of changing the focus. You’re a sad, sad man.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
12:54 am
200% heterosexual YOU ah You are much more homosexual
if you are really heterosexual I would have a BIG ahrem of hot asian girl with me now
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:43 am
Takes a homosexual to know one.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
12:50 am
#13 White Christian children
Praise or Condemn:
6 
3
2:07 am
Nice addendum!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
4:11 am
AMEN
Praise or Condemn:
3 
4
11:03 am
You guys just love to bang on the gays. I wish you all just figured it out…
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
5:58 pm
There are 1500 species that display homosexual behaviour.
Only 1 species displays homophobia.
Now tell me which one sounds more unnatural?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
6:20 pm
There was a great article about this which explains how observed homosexuality in the animal kingdom is unnatural and comes out of scientific enforcement or the prison-like atmosphere of the zoos.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
6:30 pm
“A” article. Singular. Interesting.
Kindly inform me as to how I can see this article. Is it a non-religious one? Therefore less subject to bias?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
7:30 pm
“About this” links to the news report in question, but maybe that was so complex for you to comprehend? Hyperinks can be found all over text on the internet. Here it is again:
http://christwire.org/2010/04/do-gay-pets-go-to-heaven/
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
4:33 pm
A shame it’s linked to your own website and therefore biased.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:56 pm
Billings, a real journalist doesn’t tout their work like you do.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
7:31 pm
I take great respect in my efforts. Maybe you should try to get a little confidence now and again, little lady?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
7:36 pm
No, you take great pride in your efforts, and pride is a sin according to your holy book, fat man.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
7:58 pm
I said respect, not pride.
“He who has ears, let him hear.” –Matthew 11:15.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
8:08 pm
And I replied that you were lying, that you feel pride, not respect, in your works.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
8:06 pm
oh this is atrocious. you people dare call yourselves christian? there is NOTHING christian about this website. there is NOTHING christ-like about this website. this is a bunch of hate, plain and simple and the articles are up there with the crap the national enquirer dares to put in their newsletter. trash, all of it.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:17 am
I’m pretty sure the National Enquirer writers have a better imagination than the writers of this site.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
1:06 am
Facebook message between Billings and myself. If you want proof email me at csnedeker9@gmail.com for the screenshots. Enjoy.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Billings, I was looking at the picture that you have of Mitt Romney doing dishes. Why do you refer to doing the dishes as “women’s chores”? You’re aware that you’re living in the 21st Century and that the degrading days of “Leave it to Beaver” are over, right?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
I am horrible at dishes and frankly, mother is too. How was your turkey day? Did you eat meat or are you a veggie person? It must have been fun to have the whole fam around.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
You didn’t answer my question.
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Women have always cleaned and loved doing it! Some of you feminist libers think different, but you’re truly in the minority. It’s how a marriage balances out– the man works in the real world and the woman must apply herself to a small amount of household upkeep and child bearing to pay off her dues.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
So…what you think is that wives “owe” their husbands for “letting” them stay in “their” houses? I have some news for you: women aren’t indentured servants, you asswhipe. Not all women clean and not all women love doing it! This is the 21st Century! How dare you?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Please don’t get angry with me little one, you know I cherish your passion and wisdom, even if you are misguided and feminine sometimes.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
First of all, I’ve told you not to call me or any other grown adults “little one”. Second, explain what being “feminine” is and why it’s a bad thing.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Plus, why should you cherish the “passion and wisdom” of someone whose only role in life is to be an indentured servant for a man and to “earn my keep” by cleaning and popping out babies?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Well, popping out babies isn’t necessary, but women have traditionally proven themselves best at caring for children. Despite Mother Billings’ problem, I believe I am a great example of that, cranky Claire!
so how was Thanksgiving at the Sneds?
Friday
Claire Snedeker
If “popping out babies isn’t necessary”, how do you explain this quote of yours?
“the woman must apply herself to a small amount of household upkeep and child bearing to pay off her dues.”
One of these days you’re going to pay for these outdated, sexist views of yours, dickwad.
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Don’t you have some chores to do?
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Is this what you ask when you know you’ve lost an argument? You’re a pathetic man. What sorts of chores would I have to do at 10 PM anyway?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Claire, I remember the good old days when you were civil and decent. What happened to you???
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Why is that you never answer my questions?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
You never answer mine and I try so hard to be nice to you. I used to treat you softly because you were a teen, but my conscientiousness is wearing thin.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Are you sure you didn’t treat me “softly” because I’m just a stupid female?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
You’re not stupid, just weirdly obsessed with felines and the Hanson Brothers.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Who are the Hanson Brothers?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Hhahahaa, you are funny. You should write for Cracked.com. You’re probably more into Lady Gaga these days.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
As usual, you didn’t answer my question. WHO are the Hanson Brothers? And no, I don’t give two shits about Lady Gaga.
Friday
Stephenson Billings
I am not going to pretend I know enough to explain teen music to you. Do you have Google? You could always try that. Do you ever, every smile???
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Yet you’re going to assume I listen to them? Dude, I listen to classical music and showtunes (Les Miserables). I have absolutely no interest in Lady Gaga, the Jonas Brothers, whatever Hanson guys you’re referring to, Justin Bieber, etc.
Why are you assuming I don’t smile? Have you ever seen me?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
You just have such a negative attitude about EVERYTHING! It worries me, I genuinely hope you’re happy in life.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
You hope I’m happy in life? Even though life for a woman, according to you, is that of an indentured servant who has to earn her keep by cleaning and making babies?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Yes, I want to make sure your happy.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Did you even read my second sentence?
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Why does it always have to be about radical politics with you? Why cant we have a normal conversation?
Friday
Claire Snedeker
This conversation BEGAN when I called you out on your sexist stance on a woman’s role.
Friday
Stephenson Billings
See, you’re much worse than me about not answering questions!
Hypocrite! But I’m still looking out for you, kiddo.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
I ANSWERED your question with a STATEMENT saying that the REASON it’s all about “radical politics” with me, at least in this thread, is that the thread is ABOUT radical politics (your view on women).
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Thanksgiving, your happiness, etc. all those are topics which you never responded to me about. Don’t throw one of your famous tantrums my way, Cranky, I am getting fed up with your kneejerk liberalism.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
I didn’t respond to them because they were UNRELATED TO THE ISSUE AT HAND.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
“Famous tantrums”? Please quote one. If they’re so “famous” surely you can find one. I can find a few of yours, however:
“ALLS I WANT TO DO IS HELP YOU PEOLE AND YOU JUSTB SLANDER AND ATTACK ME CONSTANT AND WHY????? BECAUSE YOU”RE ALL INTO SEX AND DRUGS AND WHATNOT AND I STAND UP FOR A MORAL NATION OF THE RIGHTEOUS YOU WILL ALL BURN IN THE DEPTHS OF SATANS LAIR IF YOU DONT REPENT> I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN BUT I AM TRYING TO HELP IF YOU DONT WANT TO LISTEN THEN DONT. NOW GO AWAY AWAY AWAY!”
“CLAIRE YOUR DUMB COMMENTS CANNOT INTIMIDATE ME AND I KNOW WHAT IM DOING SO STOP GETTING ME RILED UP SO YOU CAN GET PAGE HITS OR COMMENTS OR WHATEVER ITS LOOKING SO DEPSERTE YOU PART I CANY HARDLY TELL WHAT THE WORLD IS TO YOU FILKS NO PLEASE ANSWER ME THAT SO ENOUGH? I AM JUST TIRED AND SICK OF YOU ALL SHOWING NO LOVE, NO KINDNESS NO WISDOM.”
“Did you somehow miss the part where I said, “I will try to answer your lengthy diatribe when I have a moment.” DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? I DO NOT HAVE TIME NOW!”
“CALM DOWN!!!!”
and the even more famous:
“CALM DOWN CALM DOWN!!!!!”
my personal favorite:
“CALM DOWN CALM DOWN CALM DOWN !!!!!!!” (from confessionwire)
“STOP HARASSING MY MOMMA, SHE HAS ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITHOUT YOUR PERVERTS SLANDERING HER ONLINE. SHE IS A LOVELY WOMAN.”
Friday
Stephenson Billings
Wow, you must have been intensely cruel to force me to react that way!
So Claire, what would you like to see for my next Christwire article?
Friday
Claire Snedeker
You were responding to me in only one of those comments.
I’m not going to respond to your question as it is unrelated to the issue at hand.
Friday
Stephenson Billings
You’re really irrational tonite.
Friday
Claire Snedeker
Translation: “I know I’ve lost the argument and don’t know what else to say”
Nice spelling of tonight, by the way.
23 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Well, thank you for admitting when you’re wrong, honey. Pleasant dreams!
12 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
You’re pathetic. You know damn well that I was saying that YOU had lost the argument. Sad, sad little man…
11 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Listen, in the end we should both be on the same side of many of these issues. We’re both white and of Christian ancestry. Don’t you have any respect for who you are? There are many others who want to destroy you for being what you are.
10 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
We should be on the same side because we’re both “white and of Christian ancestry”? Why is that? Why should I be on your side when I support homosexuality and you condemn it? Why should we be on the same side when you show such blatant disrespect for females and I’m a feminist? Why should we be on the same side when you despise cats and I adore them? Please answer me these questions.
9 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Don’t you care at all for the survival of your culture when all these ethnics are rising up to destroy us? I honestly look at unemployment and the health care costs and now that has to due with the Mexicans and then crime and drugs– pretty much due to the blacks. This country would be very different if it was much more pure ethnically. You know this is true, and it has nothing to do with feminism.
9 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
I don’t want to be associated with “racial purity” and other Hitleresque idealogies.
How about you answer my questions? WHY should I be on your side when we disagree on so many important subjects? Why would I even want to be associated with a person who views me and my gender as nothing more than indentured servants to men?
9 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Because we are in the middle of a war to destroy everything decent and good about white America. Don’t you understand that? Even if your socialism or feminism succeeds, don’t you see the ethnics will rise up and pillage and burn society and won’t care if you’re a liberal, but they’ll take you down because you’re white? in the end, they just hate us for our skin color.
9 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
You still haven’t answered my questions. WHY would I want to be associated with a person who views me as nothing more than an indentured servant to men?
7 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Claire, I keep answering your silly questions. Stop being such a runt. Listen, if you were walking down the street late at night in Boston and you saw a gang of blacks with their boom boxes and bandanas, wouldn’t you cross the street or be afraid? Of course you would and that would be smart. We have an instinct for what’s not safe. You would cross the street to my side of the debate.
6 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
I would feel JUST AS threatened by a gang of whites walking down the street. And you do NOT keep answering my question, so I’ll ask it again: why would I, a feminist, a pro-choicer, a gay rights activist, a cat lover, ever consider myself to be on the same side as you, a man who views women as inferior, who’s pro-life, who wants to ban gays from being happy, and who hates cats? Even if we were to agree on one issue the fact that we disagree vehemently on all other issues means that we are on opposite sides.
6 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Do you spend all day facebooking with boys? Sometimes I wonder about your mental stability. Why are you so pissy today? Normally, you’re much more obedient.
In any event, we do indeed share a culture and a blood, even if you’re too intimidated to admit it. Why do you love these blacks so much? You’re not a race chaser are you? We have one of those down in Dyersburg. She was very overweight and loved the big black guys. It was rather discomfiting to see her drive around town in a Corvette next to an afro.
6 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
No, I do not spend all day facebooking with boys. As for why I’m so “pissy”, perhaps it’s because you’re a sexist fucker who accuses me of never answering his questions, despite the fact that his questions are always completely unrelated to the conversation topic. And please describe how I’ve ever in the past been “obedient” to you.
Yes, we do share a culture and a blood; I never denied that. But you know what? I also have Native American blood. As for a “race chaser”, this is the first time I’ve heard of that.
You know what I find discomforting? The fact that you are discomforted by seeing a white woman in a car with an “afro”. Why are you so bothered by that? Need I remind you that we live in the 21st Century? Black people are no longer considered below us, you realize that, right?
5 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
Afro means that big nappy hair!
4 hours ago
Claire Snedeker
“Afro” is also used as a derogatory term for a black person. Regardless of which way the word if used (whether to describe the person or the hair) there’s no reason why you should be disturbed by a white woman in a car with it.
2 hours ago
Stephenson Billings
You probably couldn’t drive a car anyhow. Have you ever been behind the wheel of a school bus?
about an hour ago
Claire Snedeker
You’re correct, I do not know how to drive a car, as the MBTA makes transportation very easy. But what does that have to do with the issue at hand? What does my inability to drive an automobile have to do with your being uncomfortable seeing a white woman and black man together?
about an hour ago
Stephenson Billings
I used to drive a school bus back in the late 80s. It was such a strange experience! Some days I’d sing to the kids and they’d be glorious, other’s it was total mayhem and spitball fights. They’d open up the emergency exit at the back and set off the alarm. I finally got let go because of budget cuts and I broke a broom over a child’s hand. But there were mostly white kids, a few black ones and buy they were black like purple!
about an hour ago
Claire Snedeker
Yes, that’s fascinating but it has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Please answer my question: why do you get uncomfortable seeing a white woman with a black man? STOP dodging the issue and boring me with shit about your life that I don’t care about.
55 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
I bet you’ll make a bossy wife some day. Do you like skinny boys with long hair? The skateboard type? I always wondered why the girls like those sorts. In my day it was the guy with feathered hair and a GTO, that always got the townie girls hot and bothered. But the good, nicely built football players weren’t lonely, let me tell you! But seriously, some girls really went after the “bad boy” type. I never went down that road, though maybe I WAS envious of them when I was back in the teenage years!
50 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
Are u there Claire? Now, I’m getting bored. HELLO HELLO HELLO!!! Hahaha, sometimes I love this chat room thingy. HELLO HELLO
HELLO
JELLO
MELLOW
49 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
SELL LOW
BIG JOE
YOU KNOW
MY TOE
WILL GROW
48 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
TO & FRO
AND GO
SHOELESS YO
JUST LIKE
A MAN WITH AN AFRO
48 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
now i’m bored
34 minutes ago
Claire Snedeker
If you don’t shut up and answer my goddamn questions I’m going to post these inane ramblings of yours onto Christwire.
28 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
Oh you and your idle threats. What a liberal you are. Pushed against the wall, your fangs come out and you clamor for suppression. So anyhow, the blacks and whites were never meant to be together and they don’t even want to be with us, unless it’s to rape or something. The black man has essential ghetto problems to face– crack cocaine, poverty, no fathers– and the white person’s life dont make sense to him. They really cant relate after all. Mixing them up just hurts the white race.
26 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
I’m a realist not a racist. The blacks would be happy in Africa but now there too many in America. You should see the South! It’s like Cops. Do you ever watch Cops? Always the blacks live in some shanty with garbage on the floor, crack pipes everywhere and a dozen crying welfare babies. Yup, thanks Obama. These are your kind, Mr. Prez.
23 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
Do you like Owen Wilson? I saw him without his shirt on in a film recently. He has an odd chest. I don’t like it when a guy’s nipples are all round and pokey, like Hershey’s Kisses. Maybe its a Hollywood thing. I have normal breasts.
23 minutes ago
Claire Snedeker
No, you’re a racist. You claim that blacks are all rapists, that they’re all poverty-stricken crackheaded deadbeat fathers and that all they do is hurt white people. And I have seen the south – my dad’s from Georgia, you dumbass.
22 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
Maybe next time you’re down this way you can visit with me and Mother. I think it would be nice to finally put a face to the typist!
21 minutes ago
Claire Snedeker
Considering how you’re telling me about your breasts, I’m going to stay far, far away from you. Have you forgotten the whole “I’ll call the cops” if you come near me, thing?
21 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
Promises I wont kill you, I not a serial killer like all your buddies alwyas say on Christwire. I never was convicted for anything or plead guilty to anything.
You are the one who calls me a serial killer like GACY now that I remeber it. Why do you do that? NOT VERY NICE! Considering I’m your friend. I am getting sleepy here.
19 minutes ago
Claire Snedeker
You realize that you can’t delete anything you write to me on facebook, right? If you call me your friend one more time I’m posting everything you’ve written onto Christwire.
19 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
I should email you a poem about serial killers. That’s why I do when I’m trying to fall asleep I wrote limericks in my mind! What do you do?
You asked for it:
What rhymes with Dahmer?
DAHMER DAHMER DAHMER
15 minutes ago
Claire Snedeker
You’re getting creepier and creepier. This is ALL going on Christwire.
15 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
that’s a haiku.
14 minutes ago
Claire Snedeker
I hope you go to prison for a long time.
12 minutes ago
Stephenson Billings
Now Claire, let’s both calm down. You got off to the wrong start and certainly said some things you shouldn’t be proud of. Please let’s just forget this whole silly thing. I am sleepy and maybe the tv was gviing me a headahce. No worries little lady, I can agree to forget this if you can. Allright I need to go offline but please let’s just put this behind us. I need to keep my privacy intact and of course what you’re proposing violates all ehtics and legality and truly makes you look like a bitter mean old *unt.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
12:55 pm
Hello Claire, I would email this to you personally but you’ll probably edit it and post it online in the end so here goes:
I feel you have violated my trust deeply and profoundly. It is incredibly hurtful to me. You seem to have no sense of privacy and decency. If you were any other person, I’d expect an apology but maybe this acting proves you need genuine assistance before you’re capable of healing. You have shown yourself to be a sadistic and godless creature today.
This conversation between us has been edited and I highly doubt you recall “how many minutes ago” each verse took place. It has an air of scandal and fakery about it. I don’t think that’s very moral of you.
Furthermore, I read of back and forth and it seems quite normal. I implore you to open your heart and you refuse. I honestly doubt anyone will read past the first three lines. Was this meant to hurt me? I really don’t know why you want to take me down since I have done so much for you and offered you so much psychological assistance over the years.
In time, I pray we can repair our friendship. In the meantime, please grow up.
Your great old friend,
Stephenson
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
4:43 pm
I can’t believe I read that whole thing, but I did.
He’s trolling you, Claire. Chill out, play along even, but don’t blow this up to the max. There’s no call for that.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:34 am
i read this and all i can do is laugh, seriously i almost fell off the chair. and FYI, i’m not talking about claire or billings, it’s just the conversations are hilarious.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
9:32 pm
If this is what you consider to be apropriate for a Christian site, you are sadly mistaken.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0