25 Things You Don’t Know About Me: Zooey Deschanel
Zooey Deschanel, 31, shares the 25 things you don’t know about her with Christwire.
1. I accidentally had an abortion.
2. I hate camping, but I love being fondled at summer camp, by old, musky men.
3. I took three years off from hooking and toured with my band, She & Him.
4. I used to dress up like a tranny to do my homework.
5. I have had hair on my butt since I was 2. One year I dyed it blonde, which felt so weird.
6. I stole my mom’s old Volvo a few years ago.
7. I had a party at a homeless shelter and threw away all our left over food in front of the bums, just for giggles — recently.
8. I love cocaine. I mean, I really love cocaine.
9. I am always early to the bar but always late to important things.
10. I started a adult fetish website for females, with my friends Sophia and Molly, called HelloGiggles.
11. I know The Next Karate Kid by heart.
12. I am really competitive at whoring.
13. I talk to my vagina every day.
14. I love work more than sex.
15. I love pictures of people’s genitals.
16. I am pretty crafty. I like to bake crack.
17. I hate kids with cancer.
18. I use generic brand tampons. Don’t judge.
19. I love naked children.
20. I am a true emo music nerd.
21. I love expired milk in my cereal.
22. Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer is one of my favorite novels.
23. I have testicular shapes painted on my toenails.
24. I took six years of black-dancing lessons.
25. My first acting job was a fluffer on a adult movie set.
- Excited
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Bored
- Sad
- Angry







I knew 23 of them. But, always good to be reminded of those I know and still pick up a couple of new ones along the way. We should never stop being vigilant in the face of such horrors as this lady with “musky Occupy Wall Streeter taint,” as Pastor Bowers so justly put it.
Thanks, Brother Blake! Great, great read! Double-fantastic!
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Albert
All 25 of them are incorrect.
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Most of these things are clearly made up.
1. You can’t have an abortion by accident. Also the only thing I found whilst researching where Zooey Deschanel is remotely related to abortion is a magazine that had separate articles on abortion AND Zooey Deschanel’s life. Point one made up!
2. Yes, Zooey Deschanel has said she hates camping but loved summer camp but never mentioned getting fondled. Pretty sure that is not why she loved summer camp.
3. She does have a band called She & Him but doubt she ever hooked.
4. WTF?!? This is made up. She has said she dressed as a PRINCESS to do homework.
5. Again?!? False. If it was true NO ONE would admit to it.
6. In the “Go-Getter” she plays someone with a stolen car that is the only connection I can find.
7. Zooey Deschanel threw food away in front of homeless people for laughs?!? That would be big celebrity news. You’d imagine you’d find it on the web somewhere. It isn’t the only thing found is this: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1176251/ A movie which happens to have an actor playing a homeless guy.
8. Cocaine user? Again would be highly publicised. Again isn’t the closest is a few (one or two at most) people claiming she has cocaine eyes.
9. She has said she is always early to work not to the bar.
10. HelloGiggles is a female run and aimed COMEDY site nothing to do with fetishes.
11. Don’t know, don’t care.
12. Doubt she is as she isn’t a prostitute.
13. Really?!? If true who would admit that????? No one.
14. Don’t really care if she loves work more than sex and that point just nullifies any sex related point.
15. Nope. Again no one would admit that and see point 14.
16. She has said she is pretty crafty and likes to bake but never mentions crack. Also by crafty in context she clearly means making stuff.
17. No she doesn’t. No one hates kids with cancer.
18. No one cares so the don’t judge isn’t necessary which makes it clear you made it up.
19. Nope wrong. If she did, which she doesn’t she wouldn’t admit it, ever.
20. No one cares also has been quoted saying she is a true blue music nerd not a true emo music nerd.
21. She is allergic to milk. But actually loves cereal you were so close.
22. Only thing I can find about this is where people have mixed one of her films with the twilight trailer.
23. Really?!? Nope definitely not true. No one would plus bet it would just end up looking like circles.
24. What is black-dancing?!?? Doubt any person besides those who write for this site have EVER used that phrase. If by black-dancing you meant tap-dancing you’d be right but I can’t see the connection.
25. No it wasn’t. a) A “fluffer” isn’t a role that requires acting. Do you even know what a fluffer does? b) Zooey Deschanel has probably never worked on an adult movie set. c) Her first acting job was Little Red Riding Hood.
Oh yeah one final thing I stumbled across the article you brutalised to get a rough outline for this list of “facts” whilst disproving you:
http://www.posh24.com/zooey_deschanel/25_things_you_didnt_know_about_zooey_deschanel
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What has zooey Deschane bryan?
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What Did Zooey Deschanel ever do to you, Bryan?
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he really does seem to hate her.
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Is this white devil chick sisters with the bones woman?
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Yes…..both whores.
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They are sisters but neither are whores
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That hipstersexual really gives me the creeps. I hope for her sake that she gets her act together.
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I love it when people respond to lists with lists. Its how you know they’re REALLY paying attention.
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