Zooey Deschanel, 31, shares the 25 things you don’t know about her with Christwire.
1. I accidentally had an abortion.
2. I hate camping, but I love being fondled at summer camp, by old, musky men.
3. I took three years off from hooking and toured with my band, She & Him.
4. I used to dress up like a tranny to do my homework.
5. I have had hair on my butt since I was 2. One year I dyed it blonde, which felt so weird.
6. I stole my mom’s old Volvo a few years ago.
7. I had a party at a homeless shelter and threw away all our left over food in front of the bums, just for giggles — recently.
8. I love cocaine. I mean, I really love cocaine.
9. I am always early to the bar but always late to important things.
10. I started a adult fetish website for females, with my friends Sophia and Molly, called HelloGiggles.
11. I know The Next Karate Kid by heart.
12. I am really competitive at whoring.
13. I talk to my vagina every day.
14. I love work more than sex.
15. I love pictures of people’s genitals.
16. I am pretty crafty. I like to bake crack.
17. I hate kids with cancer.
18. I use generic brand tampons. Don’t judge.
19. I love naked children.
20. I am a true emo music nerd.
21. I love expired milk in my cereal.
22. Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer is one of my favorite novels.
23. I have testicular shapes painted on my toenails.
24. I took six years of black-dancing lessons.
25. My first acting job was a fluffer on a adult movie set.