• 5 Reasons women Must Cover Their Legs with Ankle Length Skirts: A Manifesto Against Dandy Dukes

    November 28, 2011 10:02 pm 23 comments

    Warning! The following article possesses graphic depictions of the female body. I advise you to pray before reading and send all women and children out of the room. If this article provokes seizures or fainting from the horrors of the images you are about to see I will not pay for your health care for this because this isn’t socialist canada.

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    In the above picture, what you will see is two women pornographically displaying their legs. This is a new trend called “Shorty Shorts” or “Dandy Dukes” and is based off of a swimsuit style worn by the elderly homosexuals of Europe. First, I will bring you the history of these sinister costumes and then why it is your job as a Christian Man to prevent all women under your control from ever wearing them.

    History

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    In 1980, Mr. Javier Speedo, a european homosexual invented the “speedo”, named after himself because homosexuals are inherently narcissists. The speedo quickly rose to fame among the overweight homosexual beach communities of Spain, Italy, French, Portugal, and Greece, coincidentally the european countries best known for having a bad economy, presumably because they are run by homosexuals who only know how to apply perfume and shop for designer purses, and that all wastes money. Nonetheless, the speedo took off with the adolescent female demographic as well. You’ve probably seen young ladies exercising in shorty shorts or mallhopping in dandy dukes. This trend was caused by American Apparel, a homosexual company founded by canadians focused on objectifying the body.

    1: TRENDY AMONG HIPSTERSEXUALS

    All hipstersexuals like homosexuals. It is a well-known fact. On the hipstersexual website Tumblr, you will find lots of pictures about homosexuality promoted by all of the little sinners. Your women are not hipstersexuals. A Good Christian frowns upon this lifestyle. Meanwhile, the hipstersexuals are afraid of looking like Moral citizens and so frown upon ladies covering their sin sticks.

    2: The Guidosexual Imports From Italy Support this Lifestyle

    As an Anglo-Saxon, it is your duty to not support the dirty italians. On the MTV sinfest Jersey Snore, the young ladies shame themselves by baring their legs with their dirty imported speedos. The shorty shorts represent the ladies’ desire for premarital sin-docking.

    3: The Druggie Harlot Queen, Marylin Monroe Wore These

    Marylin Monroe, best known for being the lead singer of the 80s band Blondy, had an inclination towards shorts like these. Marylin soon became a transsexual metal singer and was the precursor to Lady Gaygay, the little monster of h*ll. Marylin is respected among impressionable juvenile harlots everywhere for her drug abuse and whoreish tendencies which included baring her milksacs.

    4: It’s homosexual european Roots

    Europe, best known for being a notoriously liberal and poor but full of beaches land with billions of homosexuals and their allies, was the original birthplace of these sinister ensembles. Homosexuals are known for not being subtle about there hate for Jesus and express that as well by baring their legs.

    5: Woman Have Weird Looking Legs

    Woman have weird legs. Don’t believe me? Look at the Satan character in the feminazi show The Powerpuff Girls. There legs are identical. Men have Strong and Mighty legs, representing their Strong and Mighty Love for Jesus. Those with the biggest legs have the most love for Jesus and those with tiny legs are usually homosexuals. Don’t believe me? Look at the homosexual twigs of hollywood. Tom Cruise, Neil Patrick Harris, that kid from GLEE, etc. They have legs like woman. Likewise, woman, who are usually athiest because of their temptation from Stan which is also why they’re always attracted to bad boys. Do the math, Gentlemen, woman’s legs are evils that must be hidden from the rest of the world.

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    About The Author
    Christopher Christenson Republican, American, Christian, Man, Carnivore, White, Hero, Genius, Brave. All words that adequately describe Christopher Christenson. At the ripe young age of 28, Christopher has been writing for Christwire for quite a while, when he isn't warding off the North Koreans from attacking or mentoring youth at his church. Because of his young age, he is able to connect with the young people whilst still charming our beloved elderly. Christopher is fascinated by the grotesque trends among youth and will stop at nothing to investigate. You can contact him on his website.

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