9 Reasons American-haters are Idiots
1. Your beer is not better than ours
I hate to be the one to break this to the Germans, but Colorado has better beer. Here is a link to a list of Colorado breweries. There should be no more argument on this subject. If so, the rules state there has to be a drink-off. It will be me and some chicks versus some foreign guy and some chicks. Challenger buys.
2. Your chicks may be skinnier, but ours have bigger boobs
Boobs are what matter the most. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Although I do agree that Brazil kicks America’s ass when it comes to hot chicks… and European women are much more open about sex… and most foreign women like American dudes… wait, there was a point here and I think I broke it…
3. Screw soccer
Girls play soccer. It’s not called football, it is called soccer. There is a reason the Vince Lombardi trophy is not awarded to the winner of the world cup. Vince was a man who only stood for man stuff, like football and running until you pee blood. Soccer players don’t pee blood. They pee horseradish. I’ve seen it…
4. Red Foreman was an American
So were Thomas Jefferson, The Rock, Hunter S Thompson, and Richard Pryor. Don’t get me wrong, there are cool guys in the rest of the world. Just not as many. What’s that you say? You don’t think The Rock belongs on that list? The Rock wipes a monkey’s ass with what you think. Oh yeah, and we’re taking Sean Connery. I claim him for America. Don’t dispute me. I’ll sick my monkey on you bastards!
5. 90% of the time, your country sucks worse than ours
I always find it funny when some asshole starts yammering on about how America sucks and when you ask him where he lives he says some shit like “France”. France has no room to talk about anyone else. At least the United States doesn’t have rioting going on in the streets and stupid guys named “Pierre” walking around drinking wine and speaking French. Maybe we do, but those guys get their asses kicked here. Unless they are Canadians, in which case it’s best to leave them alone during hockey season.
6. Your leaders don’t stand up to Bush…
We don’t allow dictators to terrorize the rest of the world, so why does the rest of the world stand idly by and allow them to terrorize us? A sarcastic thanks goes out for all the help you have given us. I guess taking out that Hitler guy must have been a freebie or something… speaking of Hitler…
7. WWI and II
We stopped the Germans from taking over the world. TWICE. This earth would be a lot worse of a place if it weren’t for the USA. German beer for all? We already discussed that in the first entry. Shizer porn everywhere? I’ll pass. The rest of the world can go ahead though; America is not here to judge.
8. Freedom
Not everybody has freedom. When someone doesn’t have freedom, they get mad at America for having it. What they don’t know is we get searched by cops for no reason, harassed by airport security at every turn, and lied to by our officials about everything they know. People without freedom: don’t hate America! We don’t have freedom either.
9. In the end, we are all products of the rest of the world in some way
Only the Native Americans have no roots somewhere in the rest of the world. If anyone should be hating here, it should be the damn Indians hating the rest of the world for what they sent over here. Look at the mess you people caused over here. It used to be a nice forest. Shame…
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Author: Mister Smith
Mister Smith is a freelance writer, political enthusiast, and business professional who resides in Venice, California. Avoiding long term relationships, surfing and not creating children are among Smith's favorite hobbies.
10:19 pm
whatever. The reason we hate you is precisely this. Your extremely, extremely arrogant. During WW2, AMerica failed to capture a key beach during D-Day and us and the British had to bail your sorry asses.
Ummmmmmm, id MUCH rather have skinny, hot girls with smaller boobs then the opposite. Thats just common sense
IT IS CALLED FOOTBALL. It makes more sense than calling american football; football, because in actual football, you use your feet, and in american football, you just ram into each other. american football is a bunch of men touching each other. talk about gay
Im canadian, and I speak english and french fluently. for example:
French: Ton mère est un putain salope
English: Your mother is a slutty whore
And while i enjoy hockey and a lot of my friends are hockey players, I personally do not play hockey and prefer international competitive junior tennis (when i was younger) instead. So your logic is completely flawed
If you can call freedom allowing richard nixon (ultra-fascist conservative) to gain power, you know your country is not truly free. Or Reagan either. If they can come to power, then you can’t call yourselves a democracy.
“In the end, we are all products of the rest of the world in some way”. That is truly the lamest reason on earth while people who hate americans are idiots. It basically said, where all the same species, so don’t hate us. Didn’t stop you rascals from hating us and sending your fascist troops into our country in 1812 (in which, by the way, we annihilated you, even burning down your precious “white house”) And how DARE you blame the Aboriginals for cutting down trees when that was purely americas job.
THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD ARE 95% YOUR FASCIST ASSES FAULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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10:20 pm
Quiet Eurotrash.
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10:27 pm
go rot in your own hell, hypercritical christian-american
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12:19 am
Learn how to use English, Euro. You do realize that if it was not for America, you would be speaking Russian or Sheise German?
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12:44 am
Wrong Idiot people would not be speaking German if it wasn’t for America. I take it you are referring to WWII. Which America may have helped but weren’t the mighty heroes they claim to be. You do realise your country spent most of their time fighting against Japan? They were also more preoccupied with the nuclear arms race.
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12:53 am
Idiot. We liberated France and smacked the living sheisse out of Germany. Without having to worry about American invasion, German would have wiped Russia out and then eventually hit up UK with ground troops.
We handled the Japanese and saved China from annihilation just fine on our own.
With all the thanks we get today though, I would have loved to be in Truman’s shoes because I would have kept building nukes and put a fat, shiny atomic bomb right in London, Paris, Berlin, Moskow, Tokyo and Bejing before anyone knew what was hitting them. I would have gladly dropped bomb after bomb until the lot of your ungrateful sots signed a treaty and played by our rules like the good little lesser people that you are.
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1:51 am
Adam Nelson
Read some history before you go calling people Idiots. You didn’t liberate France. Germany never stood a chance in Russia. They failed in that attempt poorly even before America joined the fight. Russia is too large and the harsh weather took a massive toll on the German forces. They couldn’t “hit up” the UK with ground troops. That is why they tried blitzing the country.
The Japanese was on the verge of surrendering when the bombs were dropped.
You’d repeatedly drop nukes on your allies? That is not only stupid but would just lead to a dictatorship and those don’t work. If America had gone nuke crazy then they would have immediately turned all their allies against them and become the main target of their allies enemies. Your country would have started a War with the rest of the world. Your “argument” just proves you to be the lesser person. Stereotypical American response there, “I know what will work out well for us and in no way lead to our country getting destroyed in a war it couldn’t possibly win. Let’s bomb everyone who is slightly mean to us.” Makes you sound like a spoiled little brat that hasn’t got his own way.
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8:59 am
Yes, because Russia with their potatoes wielding army and the poverty-laden British were really a threat to us. Yawn. I really wish we would have finished the lot of you foreigners off, it’d be more peaceful if all nations bowed to the US flag.
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2:58 am
I’m pretty Much sure he said he was canadian no ?
oh and atheist one : On dis : Ta mere es une putain de salope il faut le mettre au féminin
while I’m at it lets destroy it so easily
1.a Lot of american people said the Canadian Beer and the british beer is way better than the american One
2. American Girl with in C Cup Boobs are mostly siliconed or Implant which doenst count since they are not natural ( and it’s ugly by the way )
3. AMerican football is Called Rugby which is also a Gay sport
as for Soccer its well reckoned around the world and appreciate therefore you suck In both of them and even in Hockey I should said
4.The rock was not canadian by any chance ??? just saying ?
5.99% of the world said your countries sucks for Many reason
6. Bush is a war criminal and a terrorist everyone know it he removed every basic of human right to any american he destroyed the very fabric of freedom during his presidency
he is also condemned in Many countries ( including your own ally ) of treason ( he wanted to protect gaddhafi and fight against the NATO and the rebl in liBYA)
7. WWI : you arrived kinda late therefore you didn’t win the war by yourself ( you actually needed a lot of Help )
WWII the soviet did a better job than you
8. Freedom of what You don’t even have freedom what you do is Policy other country when they disagree with you and if they have a differnet opinion than the american one they are either called anti american or etrrorist
9. actually wrong if you talk about Invention you barely didnt invented anything
Asia and most of middle east and european are Kinda Pure and not mixed with american Blood same with the canadian
actually europeans would be the answer of your Little argument
oh and why we hate americans because you are so boastful arrogant hypocrite and stupid that you are so in hurry to destroy the world around you for your own greediness
should I continue ???
Good thing is you can’t dominate the world because you might be destroyed if you do that
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9:10 am
Adam Nelson
The world under an American flag would not be more peaceful it would be worse. Much much worse. I also said that THE WHOLE WORLD would have turned against America if they bombed every country that disagreed with them. At the time yes Britain may not have been financially secure but there was probably a reason for that. Oh yes THERE WAS A WAR GOING ON. That didn’t mean that Britain weren’t a threat what with it having many allies besides the US. And Russia armed with potatoes? You did know at that time the Russians were also working on and had nuclear weapons? America were just the first (and only) country to use them against their enemies.
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9:50 am
Don’t mind me. I’m just cranky because I haven’t had my daily dose of cum yet. Damn it, when will Tyson get here? He’s running late! If he’s off fucking some other dude I’m going to be so pissed!
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7:35 pm
yeah, ummmmmmm, you screwed up the capture of 2 of the 3 beaches you had to capture, and we had to rescue your sorry asses in france. Because of your juno “heroics”, the attack was delayed months.
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4:54 pm
It is frightening to think such ignorant foreign people live so close to America.
But God will protect us from this fan of “junior tennis” wink wink and his fellow Francophone homosexual pedophiles from the Arctic.
I warn you: we have laws keeping your kind away from school zones, playgrounds, and public parks. So if you visit, you’d be well advised to confine your visit to gay bath houses and florists.
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6:46 pm
You do realise you’ve nullified your own point there? That comment just makes you seem xenophobic and ignorant to the world around you
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7:36 pm
um, yeah, im not a fan of junior tennis, I’m a fan of professional tennis, i said i was a junior tennis player when i was younger
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12:35 am
Sometimes I think the worst of the rest of the world moved to America and breed.
Not all of you are bad but damn some of you are so ignorant,arrogant, silly backward religious, homophobic, xenophobic (if thats the word)people.
And your scared of everything… You also make crappy cars.
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3:48 pm
and what little god forsaken country are you from ass Cannon?
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4:57 pm
Only God can save you now, son.
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6:42 pm
Bass Cannon doesn’t need “saving”
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1:35 am
This article is very poorly researched. If at all researched. You contradict yourself in places and turn racist and ignorant very often. For an article supposedly trying to prove America isn’t as crappy as the rest of the world claims it is you fail miserably. In fact you make it seem worse.
1. Taste in beer is personal.
Just because you prefer one beer to the next doesn’t make it better. Nor does a larger list of breweries prove you make better beer. Quantity doesn’t equal quality. Also a drink-off doesn’t prove better quality beer just who can drink more. Point invalidated there.
2. Bigger doesn’t equal better especially in boobs.
Again you go through personal preference. Big boobs look really out of place on thinner girls. The rest of the world doesn’t care. People can’t stand the typical American. Too arrogant, and the whole sweeping generalisation about foreign women liking Americans is both untrue and irrelevant. You were right though when you implied you had no point.
3. It is FOOTBALL
A ball game played mainly with your feet, makes sense to call it football. It is known by most of the world as football. It is highly popular amongst the rest of the world on the same popularity and social importance level as College American Football I am told.
4. Red Forman is fictional
America doesn’t have moor cooler guys than the rest of the world. To suggest so would just be stupid. A) Again with the personal opinion and B) Statistically impossible. The USA’s population makes up roughly only 5% of the world’s population that leaves 95% of people. And you claim there are very few cool people in that 95% that is idiotic. Oh yeah, you can’t claim someone for America. There nationality is important to who they are and wouldn’t appreciate it.
5. This is just racist and ignorant.
When a country’s typical response to a shoot out in a school is that it wouldn’t happen if the other students were armed that country is not in a place to judge. Riots happen world wide including America. People in France speak French for a reason. Guess why? They are FRENCH. Not every Frenchman is called Pierre and drinks wine on the streets.
6. Our leaders DO stand up to Bush
You can’t claim that people don’t stand up to bush then have a go at them for not going into wars your country start. A sarcastic thanks goes out to you for appreciating the many British soldiers that fought and died in Iraq as part of a war you started. Your country didn’t take out Hitler 1) It was suicide. 2) British troops, Russian troops, European troops and SOME of the American troops (not all) advanced on Berlin. So joint effort there. The Russians in fact got there first.
7. WWI and WWII
You HELPED the world end the World Wars. There is a simple reason why it helped and may seem like it was due to your effort (haha) that the Wars. You came in really late to both. Your soldiers hadn’t been fighting a brutal war for years idiot. Fresh troops are bound to have been help. The world would be pretty much the same without the USA’s help. The brutal wars would have ended and no guarantee that Germany would have won. In fact probably still have a similar outcome. Very ignorant view of German pass times you gave there. America is very judgemental.
8. Freedom
Yeah some countries don’t have America’s idea of freedom. But that is not why they get mad at America. They get mad because America takes it upon themselves to interfere with the way their country is run and often leave the country in a worse state then it was before. Those “harassments” you claim happen to people in America such as searches and airport security are for the safety of others and protect people’s freedom so stop complaining. Officials everywhere lie. Sometimes bad but sometimes it is to stop outbreaks of mass hysteria. Way to go and not understand freedom.
9. In the end yes we are all the same.
I agree that no one should really be hating (rich coming from someone who spent the whole article basically hating every country that isn’t America). Just so you know Native Americans DO have roots elsewhere. The Cradle of Civilisation (not the tomb raider movie) is where the human race started out. Scientists have traced back all mankind to a small group in Central Africa. Humans have spread out from there over time.
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11:29 am
I find the use of the word “boobs” offensive on a Christian website, but otherwise a fine essay!
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11:32 am
As a female, I can tell you that in terms of slang words for body parts, “boobs” is pretty tame. Considering how little kids will say “boobies”, it’s really not that offensive.
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3:08 pm
Wrong that is a poor “essay”. So poor it is an insult to the word essay. Also boobs is not an offensive word at all.
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11:40 am
Jonny, Germany, a county that Europe stupidly bankrupt and trod upon after World War I (against America’s advice) was able to easily route Europe and was on the verge of victory.
Their mistake was forcing America’s hand by asking the Japanese to attack Pearl Harbor. After World War I, America learned George Washington’s advice for all generations was good: stay out of European affairs, if possible.
World War II was a European affair we wanted no part in, because you guys are warlike idiots who brought the situation on yourself. America is logical. After the Civil War, the confederates were brought right back into their country and told to live as equal citizens. There was no making them guilty for years and trodding down on them. That’s why America recovered.
You idiots, in your limited space, made the Germans feel like sheisse. It set the stage for Hitler and he steamrolled your pansy butts, didn’t he?
You’re lucky America showed up. And don’t forget, Stalin was 10 times worse than Hitler but was always preoccupied due to, again, America.
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1:51 pm
you are relaly Boastful arent you ??
in WWI america had no real impact in the war
in WWII did you know why you entered in the war yes Japanese attacked pearl harbour did you know why they attacked it america’s oil embargo
Stalin was worse than hitler why did you make a Pact of using nueclear weapon with russia than why did you agree them in the allies fold than I saw picture of truman and churchill I think ( I forgot whow a sthe british leader ) and stalin waiting for the japanese redition
Therefore you Failed to Understand its was not america alone who did the Job Your Might was not so Great and you had huge problem with Japanese ( why resorting to the Nuke if you cna sue your Military soldier at best ?)
You said you are strong but You sue the arms of the coward The Nuke You don,t fight them 1 army versys 1 army You are simply scared and weak
oh and FLASH NEW Nobody will Bow down to american flag just saying Most people Open their eyes to yoru imperialism and tyranny
ALso read mein kempf ( not sure the correct word ) but you will Know that even before starting the war he would Know that he would Lose it with or without you
My source I studied in History for 5 years, and history Book is also a Good source as well
so stop being an arrogant asshole and just shut the fuck up
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1:53 pm
My bad so many mistake anyway Use a dictionary if You don’t understand
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3:02 pm
I agree that WWII was in part brought on by the treaty that Germany signed at the end of WWI. Never said the two weren’t related.
The reason why America didn’t want to get involved is because it was a European war. The citizens of your country at the time was made up of a mixture of people with very recent European descendants from both sides of the war. If you got involved straight away it could have led to distrust in your own fellow countrymen.
And Europeans being warlike idiots? Bit rich coming from an American. Especially one that just said he wanted to bomb every country until they were under control of the US.
Not all of Europe was steam-rolled by Hitler. On the whole they held their own. America just helped the war end faster as it supplied new troops. Stalin was also evil (never said he wasn’t) but again it wasn’t due to America preoccupying Russia. They faced resistance from Western Europe as well. Stalin was interested in Eastern Europe not Western. LEARN SOME ACTUAL HISTORY. NOT JUST TAKE THE TYPICAL AMERICAN STANCE THAT THE ONLY REASON WAR WAS WON WAS DUE TO YOUR TINY INVOLVEMENT.
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12:45 pm
This poster needs some education.
Brazil girls are not better than American ones, even if you average in Claire.
America is not in the top 10% it’s in the top .1%
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12:47 pm
You need some education as well, Dracula. Or have you forgotten that you have horrible grammar, put the dollar sign after the number, and thought that penises were made of bone?
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1:54 pm
Penis are not made of Bone as for dollars this is arguably I put it after the number ( In Canada we do that make me think that he is Not american but canadians )
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3:06 pm
Typical Claire can’t understand the conversation with her 4$ education.
Penis bone L.O.L.
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3:15 pm
Claire seemed to understand the conversation properly. The dollar sign comes before the number. It would be $4 not 4$. I know you might find it confusing as it is said four dollars but it is actually dollar sign then number.
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3:24 pm
Actually Jonny, neither is correct. If you are to write in an area where you are to be critiqued, you should spell out the word dollar. If you are not, than there is no correct or agreed upon way. I only put it after as she gets excited about it.
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3:26 pm
In the article “In ‘Everything…Dinosaur Sex’ Author Defies The Smithsonian, Thumbs Nose at Evolution Hoax”, you wrote this:
“Watching things like Jurassic park and going to museums you never see mating or penis on the skeletons.”
As for dollar sign placement, in America, the rule is that you put the dollar sign before the number.
http://www.proz.com/kudoz/English/business_commerce_general/1228085-may_i_put_the_currency_sign_after_the_amount.html
In regards to my education, weren’t you the one bitching about my “overpriced trade school”? So which is it, Dracula? Is it overpriced or is it cheap? You have to pick one, dipshit.
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3:35 pm
Claire, I just did our quarterly taxes and the dollar sign was to the right of the box. This was a US government form.
And I stand by my statement about dinosaurs. I’m glad that of all things on this site, you have a problem with that the most.
And we have been over your education before. Mount Ida is an overpriced trade school. And from postings from others, Mount Ida students are practically unemployable and not desired. So your degree is devaluated to almost nothing.
And please don’t use that “ds” word, its offensive to gays.
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3:42 pm
“Claire, I just did our quarterly taxes and the dollar sign was to the right of the box. This was a US government form.”
Well congratulations, you found one place where the dollar sign is to the right.
“And I stand by my statement about dinosaurs.”
Because you’re a fucking idiot, right?
“And we have been over your education before. Mount Ida is an overpriced trade school. And from postings from others, Mount Ida students are practically unemployable and not desired.”
I don’t know about the other majors, but the rate of employment for Mount Ida vet techs right out of college is 100%.
“And please don’t use that “ds” word, its offensive to gays.”
Dipshit is derived from the word dipstick; it has nothing to do with gay people. Considering how you call gays child molesters and other horrible names, you don’t have room to speak.
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5:02 pm
It can be both overpriced and cheap at the same time. Cheap and inexpensive are not necessarily synonyms. Didn’t they teach you that?
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3:11 pm
America isn’t in the top 1% of the world unless you are talking about arrogance. Then you’ll have a pretty good run for that. Also Brazilian girls on average are better then American girls.
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3:49 pm
Claire is a size two and could have that going for her, but unlike the girl from Ipanema she’d never work it and just instead be a selfish, greedy prude.
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3:51 pm
I agree with this article but there is such dirty language.
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5:43 pm
We are alot bigger then you cause we are fat fro are mc ribs.
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