Canadian punk rocker Avril Lavigne got into a cat fight with five other women in West Hollywood, meaning she may have been fighting a catty cabal of homosexuals ‘masquerading’ as women. This all happened at the Roosevelt Hotel where one of the people commented on the “I’m in love with a skater boi” singer’s ‘knock-off handbag’, which again fits the M.O. of a drunken gay on a random Wednesday in West Hollywood.
After surviving all the screeches and claw marks to the face, Lavigne tweeted “I got attacked by 5 [gay people SICK] last night out of nowhere. Not cool. My face is f******”. With the secret darkness my investigative bones are telling me this may have been a homosexual RuPaul attack, but it’s always hard to tell what’s going on like when the alien attacked Sigourney Weaver.
For those of you visiting Los Angeles, know that there are random hordes of homosexuals street toughs who walk the streets at night. They tend to stay near the debaucherous West Hollywood district, also known as skidmark row. The police let homosexuals have free reign in this area, as long as they vow to not leave and terrorize the more moral and stable areas of the city.
It looks like Lavigne was in the wrong area at the wrong time. Considering that homosexuals love to dabble the backside of any living thing and they they were likely black, thankfully the worst injury she received in this was just a few obligatory post-fight with a gay scratch marks on her beautiful porcelain face.