Carpets Unsafe for Christians?
Carpets harbour the particles of SATAN.
Whenever you buy a house, you never really know the sexuality and/or the origin of the person you bought it from. For all you know, it could have been a sinning, devil worshiping GAY. Whenever the gay owner involved themselves in incestuous actions, you never know what juices were released upon the carpet.
These juices are the work of Satan and are Satan’s juices. Carpets, therefore, are unsafe for us Christians. The particles of Satan can seep into our skin and affect our brain area, thus causing us to sin more and become evil. Jesus never used a carpet, and I wonder why.
Justin Bieber loves carpets; Muslims eat and pray on carpets; gays have sex on carpets; carpets are evil. Carpets cannot be trusted and we cannot use them or allow them to remain in our homes.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: tdomf_15f10
1:33 pm
Are you serious? Please say you aren’t. Please.
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1:37 pm
I understand the bit about Islamics praying on carpets and them being unsanitary dust magnets, but where in the Bible does it forbid them? I fail to see a link to homoseuxality.
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1:46 pm
So you’ll make a link to homosexuality to shows and other forms of entertainment, but not to carpets? You’re that stupid, it’s not out of the realm of possibility for you.
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1:55 pm
LN, what does that comment even mean? You’re off the handle tonight. Drunk?
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2:49 pm
It means you’re stupid enough to accuse anything else of homosexuality, yet apparently a piece of furniture is your limit. Clear enough for you?
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2:37 pm
L.N
I too would have thought he’d have found a link between the too. I have to admit I found myself shocked upon discovering Stephenson Billings thinks having something DOESN’T mean you are gay
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1:59 pm
Where in The Bible does it say you can’t eat your own poop? Some things you just shouldn’t do, Bible forbidden or not. Carpets that may have been polluted by gays, or made my gays or muslims or liberals are just something you should not have in your house.
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2:41 pm
It probably says something on the subject somewhere. The bible does seem to say a lot of rubbish about what you can and can’t do
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2:35 pm
This is where you struggle to understand the gay connection? At least now I know there is actually a line when it comes to your irrational homophobia.
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1:52 pm
This is very eye-opening. As president of The Christ Fundamentalist Babtist Church Council, Fargo, ND, l I’m going to call an emergency meeting to address this issue with the congregation. I recommend you all do the same at your Church. Right now I am having my wife wear rubber gloves and dust mask as she tears out the carpet in the living room.
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4:50 pm
I understand some lesbians even like to eat carpet. That sounds very weird to me.
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4:51 pm
You’re thinking of CARPET MUNCHERS, you crazy old cracker.
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2:32 pm
It is slang Susan. It means orally pleasuring them. No actual carpet involved.
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9:17 pm
You are so right Susan. I prefer hardwood flooring, which can be swept daily as a prayerful meditation. Also, the discomfort of kneeling morning and evening on the wooden floor reminds me of the pain our Lord went through on the cross. My house had carpets when I bought it, but I was warned by the agent that the previous owner was a dusky heathen who rented to homogays. I took great pleasure in burning them in the back garden, so the stench of burning homogay juices would fill the nostrils of any passing atheists!
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9:10 am
AHAHAHAHA LMAO. Jeeeeez, what were you snorting when you wrote this article? *Sides split from laughing at this article so much* X’D
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12:49 pm
He was not snorting gay carpet particles like are doing, that’s for sure!
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8:33 pm
You might want to specify who is apparently snorting gay carpet particles in your sentence Justin. And my carpets very clean, thank you very much, as we’ve just had every carpet in every room cleaned thoroughly. So they have no gay juices or whatever (They didn’t in the first place, like all carpets). And if you know that the author wasn’t snorting carpets (LOL at that
), then what was he snorting? I’m going to assume that it was some kind of hallucinogenic drug or mushroom.
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8:34 pm
Whoops, forgot the are in between carpets and very.
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2:30 pm
This article is just ridiculous. What made me laugh even more is that even the people who usually agree with the articles found it stupid beyond belief.
So you are saying you should avoid buying carpets because the person selling it may be gay? Really by that deeply flawed logic best avoid buying anything. This includes food. Who knows what anyone in the process from the very planting of the seeds or birth of the animal has done before handling that meal you are about to put directly into your mouth. Or drinking. Never know someone could have craftily spilled “Satan’s juices” into the mix somewhere between the reservoir/stream and your glass. (By the way I am mocking you.)
I don’t think Justin Bieber cares about carpets. Muslims need a clean place to pray hence the prayer rug therefore are not going to eat on them. (isn’t a carpet) Not only gays have sex on carpets. Straight couples have been known to do so.
Where’s proof that Jesus never used a carpet? I can’t see why he wouldn’t.
The only possible reason you’d have to worry about a carpets origin is if you got it second hand and highly stained. How many people do you know who think this when buying a carpet:
“Yes, time to buy a used carpet. Hopefully I can find one with a nice suspicious stain collection, not some clean carpet again like last time.”
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9:41 pm
Young lady,
Jesus is never mentioned using carpets. Good enough for our Lord, good enough for me.
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10:31 pm
Young lady? With a name like “Jonny” short for Jonathan. Well you have figured me out. My parents being extremely kind decided to give me a good strong FEMALE Christian name like Jonathan.
Wait a second that’s not right. Isn’t Jonny a male name? Could my parents have been that cruel? *Looks down pants* Phew they weren’t. Turns out I’m male. Well isn’t that a surprise, Miss Harold Camping. Guess I’m not female like you.
Just in case you missed it. I am MOCKING you. Also I know Harold is a male name, again MOCKING you.
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4:50 pm
So many Christians and so few lions.
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1:43 pm
this is some funny story
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9:58 am
Okay, first off, you are a nut job and the reason people make fun of christians, even though most of us are reasonable people who understand what Jesus taught us.
Here’s an idea, buy new carpet if a thorough carpet cleaning isn’t sufficient.
By the way, gays, muslims and nonbelievers are walking on the sidewalk, in grocery stores, opening doors to the convenience store and other stores, pushing the buttons on the debit card machine. By your logic, you can’t go anywhere or do anything because it’s been touched by someone evil.
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