• Christianity, The Religion of Peace

    November 22, 2011 12:17 am 12 comments

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    Christianity. It is truly the religion of peace. 6,000 years ago, the universe was without form and void, then one day natural order was instantly created…with humans on Earth destined to rule over it all.

    At this point some rotten atheists may already be furiously hitting their Bash buttons and commenting, “I didn’t read beyond that 6000 years old claim you damned Christian zealot I…” in the comment section. That’s because Satan is in their hearts and they are scared to read the full truth.

    Christianity is truly the end all and be all of peace on Earth. America is the bastion of freedom and power on Earth because, at least when it mattered during WW2, it was a nation that followed Christian tradition. Now that the morals of America are waning, with prayer being removed from public school and evolution being taught as fact (instead of the deception of Satan placing ‘dino’ bones in the soil), it is NO coincidence that ungodly terrorists are expanding their religion (there are now over 1 billion of them), communists are gaining strength in East Asia and now the White House will soon be occupied by a baby-killing socialist.

    The horror.

    We need to return to a time when Christianity was at the forefront of America, or even Europe. When Christians diligently crusade to bring the religion of peace to all on Earth who are in the dark, once again we’ll see prosperity on Earth.

    Instead of continuing this enlightening written discourse about the truth of Christianity and how it affects all sentient life in the universe, which can only be found on Earth, a Top Ten Christianity, The Religion of Peace Video feature is in order. Peace be with you, brethren.

    7. Christianity, The Religion of Racial Harmony

    Christians are naturally the least biased people on Earth. They love and embrace everyone, especially those from other cultures and ethnic heritage. So it comes to no surprise that ‘Youth Night’ at every Christian church is a true melting pot.

    6. Christianity, Keeping Women in Their Place

    Women are surely beautiful creatures and can greatly aide man in many things. That is as long as women are kept in their place as intended by Natural Order. When Women inevitably get out of line, it takes an old Christian tradition to gently put the walking ribs back in place.

    5.Christianity, The Religion of Infectious Order

    Just let it happen. You’ll soon join the crowd.



    4.Christianity, The Religion of Killing Fag Feces Spreadin’

    Of all evils one can do, enjoying a foray in fag feces is at the bottom of the barrel. For those of you conspiracy theorists who are still trying to figure out 9/11, the father of our very own Shirley Phelps, Fred Phelps, has the enlightened answer.


    The Phelps’ granddaughters also weigh in on the situation (btw, these girls need to join ShoutWire to be shown some proper friendship and love.)

    3. Christianity, The Religion of Discourse

    There is little on Earth that’s as un-Christian than a no good Mexican who picks on fine upstanding Christians at coffee shops. With a natural language barrier, illegal Mexicans always fail to understand Christian logic. This is also why Zero is atheist.

    And you just can’t talk about Christian discourse without a visit from the always sweet Crazy Christian Lady.

    2. Christianity, The Religion of Miracles

    The take home message here is you cannot deny the power of Benny Hinn and Christian miracles. With but a swipe of his hand, you’ll fall out and be healed of whatever ails you (the gay, terror-lovin, chicken-egg love (ThisIsJeff))

    1. Christianity, Unifying Earth

    Ok, so while the prior videos are items that can be laughed off as dumbass Christians, this last one has very serious implications.

    In an effort to promote goodwill and harmony, a Hindu man was invited to the US Senate to do the opening invocation. Awesome. We need progress. BUT some Christian extremists, in the fucking Senate, were not having any of this on their watch.

    Pathetic.

    So as we know, Christianity is actually not necessarily the religion of peace. At least not if you look at some of the most poor examples it, as demonstrated above.

    This piece today was written after hearing some commentary on a Christian Radio show, namely that from a propaganda commercial from the biased and hate spreading American Family Association that I heard in passing. The AMA manipulators were using some of the most pathetic, dirty tactics to first lump gays, Muslims and Democrats in the same bucket, along with President Obama, and conclude that they were a danger to us because they were blatantly destroying the base of our society by pushing for equality, not having correct birth certificates and thus circumventing law (and Obama does have citizenship), trying to destroy the Constitution and something about violating the NATURAL ORDER of the United States. Natural Order was being used as euphemism for biased Christian doctrine.

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