Dirty, Dirty Sinners (Especially Gays) Always Ruin Natural Order

Hello, good friends, Joe P. Reagan here and there is one question on my mind today. Sinners, why are you destroying the holy order of mankind?

For far too long, great blasphemy and atrocity have gone on in this world. Sinners are constantly denying what is right and natural. They fail to appreciate the order of nature, bending the divine rules of the universe to their liking. Verily, sinners, I say to thee this.

Wicked and fickle ways will bring your own ruin. You see, it matters not who your supposed “god” may be. In the end, if you are sinful against good, for all, you will burn in the flames of failure, hatred and treachery.

Of all who stand accused of ruining what’s natural, gays have long held the number one spot. Lampooned as blights upon society, religious leaders, politicians and segmented media have made it no secret that gays are destroying humanity with their flaming and flamboyant acts of carnal sins.

Surely, it should stand as no surprise that a woman who loves a woman, or a man who love a man, are the direct sources of everything that is falling apart in our world. AIDS an issue? It’s the gays. Neglected children? Yes indeed, the gays. High divorce rates…?

As we’re taught by media, the act of gayness is the cause of all political turmoil. Perhaps it’s because they are destroying the divine nature of mankind, much like another breed of sinner, those who steal life.

Life stealers, also known as pro-choicers, are clearly dangerous and no good as well. Their burning hatred of all things living compels them to ignore law, implications of justice and potential repercussions so they can do one thing, and one thing only. Kill! Any person who supports abortion is obviously one who hates humanity. Such things take precedence over all else in this world, especially at times of elections.

At this point some of our zealot readers may be jumping up and down with delight, gleefully calling friends to watch the spectacle of religious finger-wagging and high-horsery. Some have gone straight down to the comment section and started the noble task of being the the keyboard warrior against Joe.

To all of you, I say thee this; take heed and listen to the most dangerous sin of modern times.

As I awoke today, going through the standard routine of getting ready for the office, I flipped on the tv to get an update on the presidential debates from last night. As I put my pants one leg at a time, my ears were shocked by the sound being forced into them.

“In today’s top news, pop starlette Lindsay Lohan facing trouble over DUI…”. Dang, I thought, must have missed the important news hour on CNN, let’s try local news. “Pop princess Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael Lohan…”.

At this point, I was pulling a curious Tim Allen styled “Urrrhhh?!” and turned to the tried and true Fox News. Surely, my right wing brethern were spinning facts and political half-truths as only they can. “…but first, pop tart Lindsay Lohan in trouble in Santa Monica”. Even Sally McPunditPants was in on this story.

Why on Earth, and today of all days, was Lindsay Lohan’s drug habit still so important?

I gave this point great thought on my way to work, taking time to notice quite a few homeless people were out early, wondering about.

Upon reaching the office and taking care of some duties, some colleagues and I had time for water-cooler talk. We were all giving our views on life, society and upcoming elections, before Angry “Bob” stepped up to the plate to give his views.

Now Angry “Bob”(name slightly changed here) is an interesting guy. He’s a brooding, bitter man and is always on a mission. If you can imagine an irate George Constanza -being part of the Spanish Inquisition- you have Angry Bob accurately pictured.

Once again amazed at the rhetoric the people around me could spew, my ears were treated to his following words: “You young asses are ignorant. You wanna know what matters in the upcoming election? Wanna know what’s important? It’s keeping gays from ruining stuff, it’s stopping ACLU from fighting abortion law…it’s…”

Thankfully, my secretary was paging me as an important call had come in. Bob had managed to nail me in the face with spittle as he rambled on and on, but his sage words left me with one realization.

There is one thing in modern times that is a deadly sin to the whole of humanity. It’s not being gay, sorry Fred Phelps. It’s not one’s stance of being pro-life and pro-choice. Those things are distractions to the one thing that stands to completely destroy our way of life. That one sin is Self-Absorption.

Self-absorption is dangerous. It’s most dangerous aspect is that it causes corruption and degradation from within.

All too often -and especially around election times- you will hear the usual suspects listed as the destroyers of all: Gays and Pro-choicers, and these days, I suppose “terrorists” can be added to this list as well. You’ll also see a bunch of worthless celebrity news.

This occurs because our modern society advocates being obsessed with one’s own views and way of life. There are those who hold dearly to what they were taught is important -from all morality comes from religious tradition, everyone hates “our freedom” to thinking “glamour” lifestyle is important- and media and politicians are there to feed that obsession.

While everyone must always think independently, it is your responsibility to think OUTSIDE of your own experience and grounded beliefs. Sometimes, there are things going on in this world that are far more important than personal passion, be it religious, politics or general interest.

So today, my message of fact to you is this. Always consider the “good truth” for all. Take responsibility and think outside of your own logic for the day. Don’t let the Angry Bob’s pander to your religiosity and blame gays for global warming. Don’t let the President Bush’s steal your vote because they are morally against stem cell research or abortion.

These are the the exploitations of the sin of self-absorption. Don’t let this sin let our society crash and burn, like a drugged out celebrity on the evening news.
=Joe P. Reagan=