Fun With The Opposite Sex
Finally, a topic relevant to us all. There isn’t a reader out there who won’t go through a bad relationship in their lives, if they haven’t already been down that road. While it’s true not all of us know what it feels like to come home early from work to find the plumber laying his proverbial pipe wrench in our girlfriends sinkhole, the majority of us have experienced the knife in the back at least once in our lives. That goes double for the women.
It wasn’t always like this. There was a time when a man married a woman, they were together “til death do them part”. Divorces were a rarity, and those who followed through with them were ostracized amongst their peers. People would work through their differences rather than be stoned by the puritans in the town square. It just made more sense.
Sometime around thirty years ago, all that changed. It began with the free love movement of the sixties, continued with the high divorce rates of the seventies, followed through the eighties with the single parent household, and culminated in the nineties with teenage pregnancies where the father was nowhere to be found. Now, we stand on the forefront of a brave new millennium and things have only gotten worse.
Nowadays just about everyone has been divorced by the time thirty creeps around. It’s par for the course. Go to high school, go to college, get married, have kids, get divorced, live through the bachelorhood that is the late twenties, and if your lucky some woman might just pull you out of a pile of your own vomit and save you from a life of frozen pizza and keg stands before you turn thirty five.
Society has not only accepted the failure of most relationships, they showcase them on television and in the media. Shows like “Divorce court” and “Jerry Springer” are on all day long for those of us who are lucky enough to have a weekday off work or school. In some cases, such as “Who wants to marry a millionaire”, it can be argued that the media actually sets these things up to fail.
So, where does that leave us, you and me, the average Joes just trying to make a nice life for ourselves by realizing the American dream that was so real for our fathers and their fathers before them? Do we regale ourselves to searching the web for hours on end looking for porn to satisfy our sexual cravings or do we brave the shark tank and risk our self respect for a half hour of pleasure?
The answer to that question is different for us all. Some of us will stay in the safety zone that exists in the ten foot wide circle around our computer desks and still yet others will slit our wrists and jump into the shark infested waters that is the dating pool and hope not to get bitten.
Whatever your choice, good luck. You’re going to need it.
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Author: Mister Smith
Mister Smith is a freelance writer, political enthusiast, and business professional who resides in Venice, California. Avoiding long term relationships, surfing and not creating children are among Smith's favorite hobbies.
12:47 am
Isn’t porn ment to be a sin or something? Anyways why even get married? I’ve personally never believed in it, I grew up without a dad due too him being I dunno a twat but whatever, I seen all my friends parents splitting up and all that crap, and honestly it doesn’t seem worth it.
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12:50 am
I prefer to keep it loose and simple right now. Women can get clingy pretty fast and you have wait to find a woman worth marrying. Also, the woman you woo today may loose her size two body tomorrow and then you’re stuck with a Big Bertha and children to raise for the rest of your life. Why give up the bachelor life for all that?
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9:52 am
May “loose” her size two? You mean lose?
What do you consider “Big Bertha”? A size four? You’re a pathetic man.
As for children, since you’re so adamant that women must become mothers, shouldn’t men also become fathers? Why should women give up their dreams as soon as they graduate college and not men?
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12:00 pm
Let’s say we got married, Claire, and had a wild, crazy time of travelling the world to exotic locations, having a passionate, steamy relationship and then finally settled down somewhere on the West coast to start a family.
If I lost my rock-hard body, thick head of hair and dreamy eyes, you would waiver and try to trade me in for maybe the pool boy or garden Mexican, glistening out there in the sun on a hot summer’s day while I’m stuck hard at work in the ER.
Or maybe your svelte physique would give in to fat after 3 or 4 children. How on Earth could I endure such a site of adipose collection when hot, young nurses are teasing me with their tight scrubs and shoulder brushes. How many times could I resist the flirtations of our housemaid?
You have to think about these things before we talk marriage, Claire.
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12:53 pm
A woman should retain the body type her husband desires of her. She needs to make sure she knows his wishes and be aware they may change over time.
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12:57 pm
Fuck you. Women should have the body type that pleases THEM, not their husbands. I hope your wife uses a twitch on your balls.
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3:56 pm
as usual, uneducated language from the resident pervert claire
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6:37 am
Claire might be a little rude but I don’t think she’s uneducated, as she’s saying the truth: husband don’t posess their wives’ bodys, that is why they have to look the way THEY want, not the way their husbands do! If you say they always have to please their husbands, this means you considere them like objects !
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