Has Girl in A Coma criminally turned its back on America?

Senator August Weisz
• ChristWire
November 29, 2011 6:21 pm16 comments

The Band Behind the Sin:
Girl in a Coma is a Mexican pop lesbian band that tunneled to Texas in 2004. The band consists of incestuous sisters Nina and Fanny Diaz as well as long time tuna diver friend Jenn Alva. After arriving in America they earned a meager living turning tricks on the streets of San Antonio. Their big break was in 2006 when well known clam-dabbler Joan Jet met them on the street corner one evening. After an all-night Satan tonguing, Jett signed the girls to a contract with Blackheart Records.

The name “Girl in a Coma” comes from the way they like to roofie their innocent victims and take advantage of their helpless bodies. They are known for their criminally explicit live shows which we will talk about below. The bands they have opened for are a veritable who’s who playlist for the depressed and suicidal school shooting teen. A small sampling of the bands they tour with includes Morrissey, Hansen, Frank Black, Train, The Pogues, Tegan and Sara, Avril Lavigne and Social Distortion.

The Music and links to terrorism
The music the trio makes has been considered to be very influential to weak minds. The lyrics are very sympathetic to the plight of Al-Qaeda and are very anti-corporate, anti-Bush, and therefore anti-freedom and anti-America. As you can see here, Girl in a Coma uses new social media sites like MySpace to spread their man hate message. Songs such as “Smart” trick their female fans into an increased level of self-worth, causing them to spend more money on cheap Mexican dinguses sold with the bands logo. Other songs like “Please Please Please Let Me Get what I want” are typical hypocritical feminist drivel highlighting the desire for women to be treated as equals but want men to buy them $400 boots and for taxpayers to pay for their lesbian birth control to regulate the time of month so they can arrange for blood orgies.

The Concertgoer Experience
The most horrible thing about the band is the live show. Girl in a Coma concerts bring illegal alien lesbian sinners out of the woodwork, they often arrive early in hopes to get a spot in one of the theme pits. These pits are named for the activities that go on inside of them. There are three major pits: “The fisting pit”, “The rape pit” and the “Body Hair Pit”. Vile unholy things happen in these pits. Unfortunately the sin is not limited to these pits. Drugs are given out freely to concertgoers in hopes that some members of the audience will be so high that they find the band attractive enough to be willing to be alone with them. Heroin Jello Shooters are passed around like candy, while ghb suppositories are inserted vaginally by the Mexicans who are used to sticking drugs in body cavities.

The Toll on our Youth
A scientific research study was done on Girl in a Coma fans thanks to a $50,000 grant from the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow. We asked one thousand fans the same four questions about their Girl in a Coma experience.





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16 Comments

  • WTF IS THIS?!?!?!!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  • are very anti-corporate, anti-Bush, and therefore anti-freedom and anti-America

    I’m anti corporate and anti Bush therefore I’m all for freedom

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • Tyson Bowers III

    Yet another band trying to whoranize our youth!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 6

  • Captain Obvious

    Personally, I don’t like the music, but there’s nothing wrong with it from an objective perspective.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  • I saw the title and thought: “What? Comatose youth denounces America? This, I’ve gotta see.”

    And then I realized it was about some band and thought: “Oh. Right. Rock and Roll is the devil’s music.”

    Nice fakeout.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • “Too many women allow lesbian fisting in their baby doors!”

    But it is pretty hot to watch.
    Wait is that a sin?

    Is it a sin to get a jolly out of lesbians in action?
    Where did you get your statistics from? I’m just curious because you didn’t leave any sources.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  • This is some of the worst sounding music I’ve heard in years. How can anyone understand the words? They don’t even know how to play their instruments. If children are listening to this, it can’t be out of a creative interest. It’s seems like the sort of things teens try just to rebel, because it’s so loud and awful. Seriously, this is supposed to be music? Horrible,

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3

    • Weren’t you just talking about how ‘liberals are so closed minded and not open to new ideas’ not too long ago? Why are you being so closed minded and not open to new ideas?

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

    • I’m guessing you’ve never heard any Black/Death Metal before.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  • You know. I wonder what your take on a christian screamo/metal band would be like. Like, take The Devil Wears Prada for instance. I’ll bet that it sounds satanic because you can’t understand it, but if you look up the lyrics, its all about God and loving Him. As for Black Veiled Brides, they discourage suicide and encourage being yourself. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. :D

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • Oh and to help out your webmaster, your “comments” tab at the very top of the page is busted. It only shows code.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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