• How To Gay-Proof Your Home

    November 5, 2011 7:22 am 49 comments
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  • All parents want their children to make good choices. The home environment, like the womb, is where a child feels safe and warm and absorbs their nutrients and develops in a specific God-given way. The infusion of cracked cocaine, drugs, alcohol, and poor diet of spiced Mexican foods can disrupt the development of your child in the womb. I am here to inform you all of comparable dangers to your childs development that may be in your own home which will lead your child to the choice of being a tween tangling homogay.

    Shower Heads
    The very apparatus that your child uses to wash themselves of filth can be turned back on them and wash them in a shower of sin. Shower heads may seem harmless but they have a penile visage that is unmistakeable to your child, especially if they are extendable heads. There are liquids spurting from the shower head cascading all over your childs body, doesn’t seem so harmless now does it? You may need to be present while your children bathe to make sure they are not using it to have a satanic moment in their nether regions. The shower head and nozzle should be removed directly after bathing and hidden from your children until it’s use is needed again.

    shower head

    Keep Your Windows Closed During Spring
    Windows in your children’s rooms should be closed at all times. The Winds of Gay are always blowing from the homogay capital of the world California, picking up gay flower scents from your wife’s garden and influencing your son to become a gay prissy aroused at the sight of your sweaty Mexican landscaper, and carrying satan’s particles into your daughter’s brain just like happened to Eve and cause her to become a lesbian recruit defying God.

    Treat Your Home Like You Would Your Body
    If you treat your body in a way that is approved by God, then he will bless you. Extending this notion into your home will bring blessings upon it from God himself. Never enter your home from the backdoor. This is an abomination on your body and your home. Your ‘backdoor’ is an exit for brown trash and gays took a mutant divergent path and starting sticking stuff up there. God doesn’t like that. In addition to these obvious minor details, you should keep your home very clean but not TOO clean. Homogays are obsessively compluslive with cleaning and looking prim and prissy proper because they are making up for so many of their other downfalls such as being a lacey bottomed frothy nancy.

    Remove Cats From Your Home
    If dogs are a real man’s best friend and companion, cats are a gay’s furry life partner. The evils of cats have been well documented on Christwire. Every morning you will wake up to a cat’s little pink stink right in your face. They purposely sick their tails up all day to strut their backside slit like a gay advertising for a Pole Stroking session on craigslist. If you don’t find this anal exposure in your face completely intolerable it is too late for you and your family and you will be tossed onto satan’s BBQ with the chinese and Indians (dot not feather).

    cat butt

    Use Heterosexual Cleaning Products
    Finally, Arm & Hammer and Mr. Clean cleaning products should never be used in your home. They depicte muscled men with tight shirts and ear piercings that reveal their bear gay nature. These products are secretly manufactured and intended for a gay mating technique called Anal Bleaching. Anal Bleaching adds a salty taste to a butt gurgle fest for gays, and you do not want your family’s rearends to become salt lick targets.

    Please take these tips into your home.
    God Bless You All

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    About The Author
    Nicholas Tadmor Isn't the fact that proof requires evidence evidence for God existing? Think about it Atheists. I am Christian student getting a good education

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