• Is Waterboarding of Desperate Housewives Key to Making The Good Wife

    November 14, 2011 9:50 am 8 comments
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  • Is Waterboarding a home alternative to encouraging a recalitrant wife to tell the truth?

    An age old fear for even the most brash and stern of men involves our eternal weakness:  estrogen.  Namely, the holders of estrogen who propose to be our loving wives of trust, but we find they are harlots who lust, cheat and steal and cannot be trusted.

    Several months ago I received many letters of ire and contempt from radical feminist organizations, largely upset because I posited one simple yet potentially essential question for the American family:  Is It Okay for a Christian Husband to Gently Beat his Wife?

    While the poll provided with this question was divided, a significant majority of Americans agreed that within a household men need to keep stern order and that natural authority includes keeping a lippy, flighty woman in her place.

    Yet, even with scientific data backing my theory that improper domestic violence laws in America were being cumbersome to our economy and straining the nuclear family, feminist organizations continued to attack.  Perhaps upset with the data or my threats to lobby Congress to promote organizations to diffuse litigation charging men for domestic violence in cases where charges should have been dropped, liberal organizations continued to misquote me, this section of advice I gave in particular:

    “…sometimes in marriage the grave and solemn responsibility to politely tell the wife to be quiet and stay in her place falls upon every husband.

    Being fickle and temperamental, women do not always respond to gentle words so at times a swift, backhanded slap across the face must be applied to them. This usually gets their attention and sets order straight.”

    When the necessity of family discipline becomes the topic of discourse, liberals will try to invoke imagery of 1950s male dominionism to make people think gently beating the wife is antiquated and bigoted treatment of women. One only needs to realize that even invoking the 1950s proves a time when families were: well structure, disciplined, financially sound and united. Loving discipline is a healthy part of any marriage. It worked for our grandparents and parents, why should it not work now?

    Many of you may remember seeing and hearing about this on Oprah Winfrey’s new channel on the Gayle King Show, among a few other leftist media productions.  My point was not to condone true domestic violence.  Beating a wife to a bloody pulp is nothing but pure, black cowardice that deserves the stiffest penalty of law and incarceration.

    But there has to be a line.  There has to be a degree of plasticity so that a man can keep his wife in order, or she will naturally shun her responsibilities as a mother, she will have affairs and she will be unruly.  This behavior is what’s causing so many divorces and ruining this nation’s economy.

    I contrated several lobbyists to push hard in key Midwestern states to turn back domestic abuse laws.  The definitions today are too loose and whimsical:  you can go to jail for simply smacking a wife on the lips if she said, “No!”, to some essential command.  No harder than you would bip a dog on the nose for nipping at you or a neighbor, a man could go to jail for simply bipping his own wife.

    This is a major example of big government once again invading a woman’s privacy and right to subject to her husband’s discipline, without being ‘influenced’ by liberal law to think it is domestic violence.  These laws are giving wives a victim’s mentality and that’s hindering progress and loyalty in marriage.

    Just as much as children must receive a swift whack on the backside if running out toward traffic to get a ball or a toddler will receive a swift, loving rap upon the hands if trying to stick a fork in an electrical outlet, a wife who is eyeing other men or not paying attention to her home duties must be given a little jolt of reality from time to time.  So loving, so swift.


    Encouraged by the initial success of my campaign to lessen domestic violence laws in America, I began to reach out to friends and colleagues.  I figured if discipline were to seriously take root in America and laws would loosen up so man may rule his family with a strong hand, the best place to start would be the central heart of America:  Kansas.

    I sent lobbyists to the state’s capital of Topeka and they fought hard to bring Kansas law a dose of reality.  Feminists in the state angrily sqauwked and protested, angrily flapping their arms and raising a great stink over the issue.  They fought my campaign with sob stories on YouTube, where ‘ crime victims’ relived the ‘tragedy’ of having their husbands tossed in prison for simply trying to run a tight ship.

    I didn’t buy it and thankfully my favorite District Attorney Chad Taylor and Republican Governor Sam Brownback did not as well.  Topeka overturned its domestic violence laws, so now in Topeka, Kansas it is okay for a husband to gently beat his wife and the police will not come running if a woman tries to weasle out of her marriage obligation to lay prostrate before her husband’s will and authority.

    With this great news other states took notice, and now my friends, over 93 cities in 18 states are considering a reduction in domestic violence laws.  In addition to taking the government out of home business, the reduction in law enforcement also gives state governments a combined billions of dollars to use elsewhere than petty litigation that does not deserve police or court attention.

    Upon being asked about discipline, Republican candidates Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain have both come out and advocated waterboarding on not only a per terrorist level, but as a good domestic tool of law enforcement as well.

    And what better place for enforcing law than in the home.  American families are the most crucial part of this nation.  A criminal within the family though, a betrayer of vows, threatens to destroy the fabric of unity in this country.  If a mother is:  not cooking dinner, not serving her husband, not loving her children, having a mind of flirtation, spending too much money, being wreckless with her friends; if these things are allowed to exist, how can a husband want to stay married?

    If love is not centered in the marriage, how can America remained united around the nuclear family.  The nucleaus is fizzled out in homes nationwide and it is because men are too scared to raise their hands and their voices, lest big government steps in and gives the woman welfare, sends the children to SRS and pushes all the taxes on the American people, while the one hard-working husband is now a tax-burden in jail.  It is a lose-lose for America.

    We must allow men to be men again in this country.  That image I had the editors place earlier, showing a 50s era husband playfully spanking his wife.  That is the image that’s been associated with stagnant lifestyle in the liberal media.  Let me ask you this:  would you dare call your grandfather and grandmother bigots to their faces?  Would you dare call the love they had in their home anything less than amazing after so long?

    Our generation and our children’s generation is doing something wrong.  Somewhere along the line, there was a change in home structure that has caused more divorces.  And the answer is simple:  the captain is not being allowed to keep his crew in order.

    Men, know that a loving captain is one who does not spare the rod.  It is an order you must take to heart and most advocate for your right to use.

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    About The Author
    Chuck Reagan Bringing back morality one kneecap at a time.

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