Lobster Moms Sitings Increase as Winter Approaches

While it is general and common knowledge that one should not tan until the skin looks like a pumpkin, all across America’s suburbs there is an increase of lobster moms.  Lobster moms is a blanket term for the new generation of “Desperate Housewives” styled women who have nothing to do all day but have affair with the pool boy, watch tv, drive the kids around and then nag their husbands.  Oh, and somewhere in all the busy schedule, they tan.

Melanin is a naturally occurring substance of the human body.  The amount of melanin in the skin determines the general color of the skin.  People of African heritage tend to have a high amount of melanin that manifests in their outer ingument, while the cascade of scales leads to Caucasians who have a more pure and white appearance due to decreased melocytes producing the staining pigment.

Evolutionists claim that the skin tone phenomenon is the result of evolution and natural selection, blacks being from sunny regions where it was necessary to ‘magically’ evolve an ability to hide from the Sun’s ultraviolet radiation, like a chameleon.  We all know this mumbo-jumbo is as belieable as the X-men comic strips.

The Bible tells the story of Ham and how he was cursed and therefore had a darker skin placed upon him and his genetic offspring.  Eventually the sins of Ham where mixed with the children of no sin, who were left the snow-white original color of God’s own fashion.  When this occurred we got:  Chinese, Asians, Mexicans and so forth.

So why people are now trying to play God and alter their skin tone’s phenotypic plasticity is a mystery unto me.  I’m just going to say that if you are a lobster moms, you may need some psychological counseling.  Looking like a hermit lobster crab is not very appetizing.  You look like an Oompa Loompa, not some perfectly golden Pam Anderson splashing down a Malibu Beach before she caught Hep C for dating a rock and roll star.