Today’s scary story about homosexuality and sport Mexicans brings us to the world of boxing. For years, boxing has served as a great American invention and pastime where we get to see some of the greatest champions of “America’s martial arts” duke it old in good old fashioned style.
We can even put bets on these great athletes as they toss punch after punch, giving left jabs and right uppercuts in ways not humanly possible for us mere mortals (without prayer).
A beautiful model is accusing former boxing great Oscar De La Hoya of throwing what sounds like a typical homosexual house party. He used a fake name, enticed with dinner and then threw on women’s clothing and had a backside rompus with immoral twaddling defilators and then a man faced Russian made an appearance. The saucy details and full allegations and photos are just too much for a the American media because we are moral, so I will let America’s lap dog Brits at the Daily Mail deal with the dirt this time around.
From this story we can learn:
1. Women like to tattle. If Susan the secretary at your office is dangling her secret sally and trying to entice you to cop a feel, men, don’t do it! Your wife will always find out and God saw you in the first place. Women love to kiss and tell and this only gets more true the older they get. Don’t trust a woman.
2. Homosexuality Can Infect Anyone Who would have thought one of the former greatest boxers of all time would have accusations of homosexuality. Now in my heart I want to believe these images are false because I once cheered this man. I would rather believe the jealous Russians somehow plotted to make boxing look like a game that any sissy with a lucky jab can win at.
3. Mexicans Always Have Wavering Credibility As a former Jury Duty at Law, in my heart I feel that this Mexican is innocent of his crimes but my life training tells me that you should never be too surprised if you find your gardener stealing ripe tomatoes or househand who is supposed to be installing new lights reaching into the Mrs. purse and taking a double stare at your daughter in the pool. I’ve seen Mexicans do all these things so what stretch is it to believe one would like a foray in a woman’s knickers?
Too bad his name is not Oscar Humboldt or something more sensible than all the gobbled up prepositional phrases Mexicans throw in their name, like they are giving directions to el debauchery Tijuana. Whatever the case, let’s hope this story flies away so American boxing does not take another blow below the belt.