• Python Eats Deer in Florida, Proves Danger of African Species

    November 1, 2011 2:57 pm 5 comments
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  • Python Eats Deer in Florida, Terrifies the Locals

    EVERGLADES, FLORIDA – Shock and awe in Florida after a nearly 16-foot African ball Burmese python hybrid was found slithering around a fresh water plant.  The python was seen by workers and reported to authorities, all after one water management contractor failed to report to work on time.

    The python had a massive lump in its midsection, making the other workers on the site fear for the worst.  Had this African beast eaten their co-worker?

    Impatient waiting for authorities and with water picks, axes and mallets in hand, 7 brave workers decided to subdue to lumbering serpent and rip it open, to see if their colleague was within.

    A snake on the loose, especially a python, is dangerous.  If it manages to wrap even an adult human, death will occur within 2 to 3 minutes.  A fully grown man of normal frame can easily fit within the snake’s mouth and be consumed.

    With a slight advantage due to the snake having a massive, digesting lump in its belly, the men sprang into action.   Reports state three of the warriors flanked from the right, while the other four feinted to the right and left  — jousting their instruments of war and creating great rancor —  bringing great confusion to the hissing beast.

    One of the men, Earl Thompson, saw an opening and leaped at least four feet into the air, bringing his pick axe overhead and bringing it down upon the snake’s body.  Flesh was rended and blood spilled, the snake seemed to have taken a mortal wound.

    But it growled and recoiled, one flip of its mighty tail bruising two of the workers.  Earl Thompson, a different fate awaited him.  The snake moved ‘at least 40 miles per hour’ in a v-line, quickly wrapping itself around Earl’s thight and then his arm, then trying to bit Earl’s neck with its mighty jaws.

    Upon seeing this one of the workers, a woman, fled.  The others bellowed into the heavens and in a beserk rage, stole upon the snake and beat it again and again.  Reigning blow after blow upon the snake, the men grew tired and weary.   The slithering death trap refused to let go its fatal, constricting grip upon Thompson.

    But in the last moment of battle, when it seemed Earl’s body could no longer withstand the massive, crushing might of the snake’s rippling musculature upon his quivering frame, a miracle occurred.  Earl Thompson, with the last bit of his strength, plunged his right arm into the snake’s open jaws.

    In that free hand, Earl still held fast to his pick axe.  And in that moment, the python had bit off more than it could chew, well, at least swallow.

    Bodies exhausted, the 6 men dragged the wounded African ball-Burmese python hybrid back to their boat.


    There was still the question of what was in the snake’s belly.  Was it their missing colleague?  The snake had almost had a second course of Earl Thompson, so it was very conceivable that their friend who ususally arrived to work early had met an untimely lone battle and fate when it encountered this mutant snake.

    With the woman who had fled bringing in reinforcements from the main office, the men gained access to tools such as sedatives, sheers and hunting knives.  Earl Thompson and an unamed foreman made the first slice into the snake, its open flesh showing what it contained in its belly.  All eyes were squenched when the final contents were revealed:

    The rogue, invasive reptile had consumed a 76 pound native female adult deer.  Biologists Mark Parry and Skip Snow, who also arrived on the scene, helped confirm this snake is among the largest ever found in the Everglades.

    The following image of the snake’s head compared to its body, which is internally constricting the deer carcass, shows how much it can open its mouth to eat you.

    There is a problem with invasive species in America, especially in Florida.  These pythons have no natural predators, are sneaky and can take on battalions of over a half dozen armed men in grizzled, tough professions.

    These savage beasts belong extinct but due to having no natural predators they are having a massive population explosion.  Like a homosexual, they are preying upon the gentle flesh of the most innocent:  deer, birds, rabbits and even in a surprise, alligators and crocodiles.  These snakes are a menace and the only way to trap them is to get lucky enough to shoot them repeatedly with shotguns.

    Pythons are extremely dangerous and should not be challenged unless one is trained.  Every loose python must be reported and these creatures cannot be allowed to continually reproduce, because they are hearty and can easily spread into other states.  They are dangerous to local animals and also to humans.  No land animal in America is beyond this new species of python’s ability to choke and consume.

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    About The Author
    Charles Atchison Subscribing to a policy of tough resolve and strong work, Charles Atchison is an premier journalist of humble Mississippi beginnings. When not writing, Charles enjoys flyfishing and is a locally reknown Ventude method chiaroscurist.

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