Ron Paul: “Let’s get high and do terrorism”
Presidential “candidate” and Republican wanna-be Ron “Natty-Lite” Paul has gained a substantial following since the beginning of the 2012 race. His liberty-based opinions and honest persona have attracted support from all types of Americans. However, is his platform a sincere array of ideas, or rather the will of Satan himself?
The first example of Dr. Paul’s devotion to the dark lord can be found in his drug policy. Paul, being the leader of a well-known Colombian drug cartel, pushes for the legalization of all drugs and the end of the drug war. This senseless ideology is but a means to attain his ultimate goal of creating a society of drug addict children and reenacting the video game “Bioshock,” a popular craft of Satan. At this point, he will take advantage of the inebriated children and use them to build innumerable shrines to the Devil, finally achieving the liberal goal of converting our Christian nation to one of Satan.
“I love heroin. It’s so chill.” -Ron Paul
It’s a scientific known fact that marijuana users do nothing but have unprotected sex and slowly kill themselves through the use of the devil-plant. However, Ron Paul’s policy would ENCOURAGE the use of marijuana and make sure that everyone was constantly having promiscuous relations. Do you want to be raped? I didn’t think so.
I can’t know for sure, but here’s what a society under the Paulocracy would probably be like:
Mom: Hey son, I’m going to shoot up some heroin and go burn a church.
Son: Okay, I’m just going to sit here and worship Al Qaeda. Hail Satan!
Mom: Good. What are you doing, honey?
Dad: Oh, I’m just sitting here masturbating to gay pornography and watching “Loose Change.” I hate democracy.
“I would totally like [Ron Paul to win] because [I could get my heroin easily].” -Heroin Addict
Paul’s flaws do not end in his drunken dreams. His foreign policy is one of isolationism. For those of you unfamiliar with isolationism, it is the state of closing the borders and pretending you do not exist. You turn off all of your phones and when other nations call you, you set your answering machine to tell them that you’re out for a little bit and you’ll call them back soon. But you won’t. You’re too busy smoking crack.
Not only will this ridiculous policy ensure that we no longer get quality products from our yellow friends in the east, but it will, without a doubt, ensure the triumph of the terrorists. The terrorists will win. That’s as bad as having a socialist in power. Oh, wait.
In a recent poll, 70% of Muslims said that they would support Ron Paul. The other 30% did some sort of funny talk that totally freaked me out. From this, a very clear conclusion can be drawn. Terrorists love Ron Paul.
“Allack hubba sabba lakkaa dooba!” -Terroristy Muslim Guy (Pretty sure he was talking about Ron Paul)
Ron Paul also advocates the end of the Federal Reserve. I’m not a political Eismenstein, but I’m pretty sure that that means he wants to end the government. If the Soviet Union only taught us one thing, it was that anarchy doesn’t work! Here, Paul shows a blatant disregard for history.
It’s clear that a vote for voodoo Dr. Paul is a vote for the anti-Christ. If you’re not totally convinced that a vote for the crazy conspiracy theorist Ron “In-The-Back” Paul will bring about the end of our glorious theocracy, then may God have mercy of your soul.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: tdomf_15f10
11:26 pm
isn’t it funny how all the hippies love this guy because he wants our health care system to hand out free pot? Why would any CHristian support a man who has never been vocal like Bachmann or Perry about the important of Jesus in America? I like the idea of ending the Fed and the Dept. of Education, but who knows what sort of morality this guy has. His obsession with nitpicking money issues reminds me of Damien in the Exorcist movies. I really have to wonder if this guy is slightly Satanic, and truely where’s his faith? What does he believe in? Why doesn’t he ever thank God or speak of Jesus Christ on the campaign trial? He just seems so untrustworthy.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
17
11:28 pm
Jesus for president and George W. for VP!
Praise or Condemn:
10 
13
2:45 pm
George W. would play the part of Judas, so I could not praise that assertion.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
11:32 pm
You DO realize that there are people who exist in America that don’t believe in God, or have a different point of view of God, and so on, correct? The whole idea of ‘bringing the importance of Jesus to America’ is not a good one when you consider the people who would be bringing it are a bunch of hypocrites who don’t even read the damn book they preach from.
Praise or Condemn:
11 
7
12:01 am
Every Presendtial contender has been vocal about Jesus, except for Ron Paul. Even Obama claims he just worships Jesus, even though he’s got those muslim connections.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
11
11:43 am
Yeah ok and all of our Presidential contenders have been such great people… All saying you’re Christian does is get ignorant Americans as yourselves to like a candidate better. Clearly many past presidents who were “Christian” did many non Christian acts. And even if they were to follow the bible, fuck the bible.
“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” (1 Timothy 2:12)
“Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us – he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.” (Psalm 137:9)
“Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.” (1 Peter 2:18)
Anyone who follows this book is an idiot.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
5
12:24 pm
As a Christian, I pray for a Christian leader of America. This happens to be a Christian website. Are you intentionally playing stupid?
The reason faith is so vital is that the United States was founded on Christianity and meant to be ruled and populated by Christians. Our basic laws and morals are specifically created to be mastered by the people who love Jesus. When you add atheists and money lovers into that equation, you have the sort of problems that we have in America today.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
12
4:58 pm
I understand your feelings on being angry at people who understand politics better than you, but I don’t think that spewing atheist filth all over the place helps your cause.
I only hope that my prayers reach out to your faith crippled self.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
2:39 pm
Okay, so it’s SO important that Ron Paul be “vocal about Jesus”, yet when Obama does it, you don’t believe him? So what good does it do for any of them to claim the name of Christ for themselves? Romney does it and he’s a Mormon. Is that okay with you?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
3
2:45 pm
Also, I’d like to add that, even though I too am a Christian, with degrees in theology, I really don’t care if the President is a Christian, Atheist, or even a Satanist, as long as he strictly follows the Constitution, something that NO President has done in decades!! And that includes our last so-called “christian President”, G.W. Bush!!
But I guess, when we’ve got ‘christians’ in this country who violate the teachings of the Bible, why should we be surprised when their elected ‘leaders’ violate the Constitution in the same way???
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
4:30 pm
I am NOT okay with Mormonism, which is NOT Christianity! Mormonism is an abomination, a wealthly cult no better than Scientology which is networking its way into power. I do not believe decent Christians will let them happen, even if the power brokers are throwing cash at Romney. As for B. Hussein Obama (aka Barry Soetero), he has make it clear that he was born a muslim in whatever country that was. The man’s agenda does not reflect CHristian values in the least, but reveal his connections to the highest levels of the communist party. Look at Bill Ayers and Rev. Wallis, two of his top advisors and members of communist infilitration.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
7:48 pm
…You do realize that this website is a spoof on super-Christians, right? Well, no you don’t. But if you can’t tell then that’s pretty funny in and of itself, and I wanted to point it out
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
10:41 am
Judge much? Who are you to say that “the people who would be bringing it are a bunch of hypocrites who don’t even read the damn book they preach from.”?
We DO realize that SOME people exist in America who don’t believe in God. WE also realize that MOST Americans DO believe in God.
Our country was founded on the principal that we get our liberties and rights from GOD, not government. This is the core and foundation of our constitution. It’s what made us a great and free nation, a shining beacon on a hill.
Our leaders don’t have to be Christian, but if they claim they are, they need to proclaim it publicly.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
2:41 pm
The answer is simple: Separation of church and state.
Bachmannn and Perry have ties to Dominionism, which “believe Christians—certain Christians—are destined to not just take ‘dominion’ over government, but stealthily climb to the commanding heights of what they term the ‘Seven Mountains’ of society, including the media and the arts and entertainment world.” The key here is “certain Christians”…there is a hierarchy that you or I may never achieve, but should gladly join the fight against everything THEY deem unworthy or, more appropriately, UNHOLY. We are to be their minions…their puppet warriors. Our lives are expendable for their cause, and our passage to heaven is granted by our service. Sounds like Christian al-Quada to me!
Remember that Ron Paul IS a Christian man, but doesn’t feel the need to assert his beliefs onto others. It is in practice of peace and love that he spreads his message.
BTW…he’s not FOR drug use, as this article falsely accuses (much like that phony, misleading quotation). He’s for STATES RIGHTS, which means that the federal government has no “dog in this fight.” If it’s not in the Constitution, he’s not for it. That’s been the summation of his entire political career. He’s always been for the people, not for big industry/big government which has sided on continually releasing us of our rights as of late.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
4:35 pm
Let’s throw out Christianity and with it the moral basis for civilization, yay! What book should we use instead? Maybe the Communist Manifesto? Is that your little agenda here, comrade?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:42 pm
The moral basis for civilization? Right, because selling your daughters into slavery is just sooooo moral…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
5:33 pm
Lol, dude. You mentioned in a previous post that “This happens to be a Christian website. Are you intentionally playing stupid?” You realize that this entire website was created to make fun of Christians, right? You’re so backwards in your beliefs that when someone makes a website making fun of you, you don’t even realize it.
Anyway, how would throwing out Christianity throw out the moral basis for civilization? There were plenty of successful civilizations before Christianity even existed. Jews aren’t exactly raping and killing each other over in Israel. I seem to remember something about crusades, salem witch trials, inquisition, reconquista, french holy wars, priests raping young children, etc where Christians weren’t really all that moral. If Christianity makes you moral, then explain to me why only 1% of people in US prison claim to have no religion, when 16% of people in the general population claim to have no religion. Religion increases your chances of going to jail – by 16 times!!!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
12:31 am
um, you do realize Billings is in on the joke, right? c’mon. have some fun.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
6:20 pm
This post shows how little you think things through before rambling on with your superstitious drivel.
Ron Paul doesn’t want our healthcare system to hand out “free pot.” First, the pot wouldn’t be free – he doesn’t believe in government-subsidized healthcare. You would buy it at any store, just like you buy cigarettes – no need for the healthcare system to get in the way. Personally, I don’t do any drugs (excluding Tylenol, Benadryl and occasional alcohol), but I’d prefer that a stoner get his pot from a convenience store, rather than from a drug dealer.
I’m going to ignore your comments on Dr. Paul being satanic, because that is so ridiculous that it doesn’t warrant rebuttal.
I’m not sure how you could see him as untrustworthy. He is the most consistent politician in the race. His votes always correlate with his stated beliefs. He does not take bribes, he does not deal with lobbyists, he has shown throughout his long career that he can not be bought. How much more trust worthy can someone be?
You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. The fact that you read a satirical article making fun of Christian views and consider it to be a publication that supports your beliefs show exactly how delusional your thought processes are. Take a look in the mirror, my friend. You’ve gone far off the deep end. Superstition is not the path to truth.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
12:46 am
why removing the dept of education You don’ want public school being funded ?
or you prefer them to be ignorant and follow Jesus ?
oh and you are not a theocracy first ammendment read it
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
2:53 pm
Eliminating the Dept. of Education will simply be one step in the right direction in getting the government out of our lives and let us think for ourselves. Public schools have become nothing but propaganda mills. Kids learn how to ‘stop global warming’, ‘save the whales’, etc. But math, english, history…? Forget it!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
2:56 pm
Removing the Department of Education will release the grasp currently held by our federal government. They are a hindrance, not help, to the education of our youths. The state of our education has FALLEN since it’s inception. True story. State’s would and should be entirely responsible for their educational systems without federal authority, unless those institutions violate rights guaranteed by the Constitution.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
2:33 pm
OMG this is the biggest pile of crap on the net. Did you pray to god for the made up quotes? Well add christwire.org to the list of media that blatantly lies to it’s readers. IF you believe this rubbish you are an idiot.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
2:58 pm
lol I thought this was a joke “article”. Still it’s very funny stuff. Check this out: http://ronpaulflix.com/2011/06/ron-paul-video-at-the-faith-freedom-coalition-conference-june-4th-2011/
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:35 am
people in 19th century Montana had the right idea. it’s time we start burning all homosexuals, muslims, mormons, atheists, et al @ the stake of righteousness. God loves the smell of roasting heretics. amen.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
5:06 am
I believe Jesus agrees !
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
11:43 am
Oh god my sides
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1