Selena Gomez Breaking Up with Justin Bieber after Mariah Yeiter Baby Scandal, Gomez Dumps Bieber Ladies!
Yet another Mexican young woman packing on the hip-pounds at McDonalds after learning her boyfriend cheated on her. Justin Bieber has allegedly knocked-up a 21-year-old and has a 3-month old baby. Tabloid reports coming in that Selena Gomez is breaking up with Justin Bieber.
Many parents reportedly woke up with a startled panic on early Saturday after hearing a gleeful harpie’s scream coming from the bedroom of their daughters. With some form of electronic device in hand, millions of teenaged girls were yelling in ecstasy after reading Tweets and tabloid headlines that Selena Gomez is breaking up with Justin Bieber.
Other news sources are reporting that reps state that Gomez dumping Bieber allegations are nothing but rumors. These are the same type of rumors that are surrounding the marriage of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, because, totally banging the slurpin’ salmon of some hottie you just met in a club on your anniversary is not really the type of thing that causes divorce.
In all this, Justin Bieber may be forced to swab a Q-tip in his cheek and see if the ‘baby’ is his. If he is the Baby Daddy, we’ll assume the Selena Gomez dumping Bieber rumors were true. If it’s not true, Women 101 taught us that if a woman accuses you of pulling her ‘backstage, jumping between her wrapped legs and spewing within her in 30 seconds’, it’s not going away. Bieber will never be able to get over this one with Gomez, folks. Ask any married man who forgot to take out the garbage one night or accidentally bumped into an old girlfriend at the supermarket.
You will hear about that stuff for the next 30-years. Bieber is too young to realize that fact or he would be running to the hills right now.
Since that’s all I really care to say on this subject and my writing assignment of Bieber-Gomez is now officially complete so I can keep my employment, here is a YouTube video to spice up this article. It is Justin Bieber – Baby. I’m guessing this is some form of Maury Povic Baby Daddies meet the aught 2.0 generation. Enjoy the double-entendre!