Skyrim Creators Confess Game Meant to Teach Children Homosexuality, ‘Gay Marriage’
Following Tyson Bowers III’s now internationally acclaimed journalistic piece that exposed Skyrim’s teaching of homosexual techniques to children, Skyrim’s creators at Blizzard have confessed that the point of Skyrim is to promote gay marriage and “rampant homosexual tendency” in today’s children. The shocking confession is being reported worldwide and already, thousands of parents are sending us letters of support, vowing to destroy their children’s copies of Skyrim with fire and stompings.
It’s been long held Republican knowledge that once society allowed one state to approve gay marriage, that next would be people marrying cats, dogs, lizards and children. Skyrim has done just that and today’s story will not only infuriate you, but make you demand your naive child never play Skyrim again.
From Blizzard’s executive offices in Bethesda, Maryland, the company’s PR man Pete Heiney confirmed the worst of our fears. Via a response to us on Twitter, Heiney unclenched his tightly held lies and confessed that since The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim release, there has been a pointed subliminal programming motifs to make children gay friendly.
This movement to introduce ‘gay marriages’ on Skyrim is part of the apparently homosexual game developer’s agenda to gain sympathetic support to legalize gay marriage in all states. After a half-decade of getting the game’s majority 13-16 year old user base to accept gay marriages as normal, liberals will have a new slew of first-time voters across the United States who will try enact gay marriage and all the perversion that comes with it in real life.
Skyrim Provides The First Legal Gay Marriage in Gaming History: Two homosexuals from New Jersey were able to perform a ‘gay marriage’ ceremony on Skyrim, as the gaming system promotes and allows to male characters to legally marry within the platform. In this image is the first ‘gay marriage’ couple in gaming history, a Level 8 Redguard smythsman of name ‘Chester McFeely’ who married a male Argonian wizard lizard named ‘Young Klaxxx69′ in the homosexually rolling meadows of Hammerfell. It is rumored that the Level 5 Argonian was operated by a 15-year-old child, further proof that Skyrim is making it possible for children to not only support gay marriage, but be electronically involved in one and the consumation of it. Skyrim has opened up a new level of homosexual preying upon children, scarier than anonymous Myspace and Facebook mystery men who stalk your children and plot to do evil things to them.Until the Bowers report on the issue, Skyrim was ‘hush hush’ and mum on the issue, refusing to publically confess what the 20 million children who played the game already knew: homosexuality was present and they were having fun with it.
Heiney confessed first and then Tweeted: No longer is this “hush hush, just not making a hudge deal out of it. You can marry anyone”. In a second Tweet, he continued, “…Not any NPC, I just mean any male or female. Doesn’t matter what you’re playing.”
As if all this is not bad enough, it gets worse and more outlandish.
Skyrim has homosexual Kama Sutra techniques built into the game engine and also ‘groan moan’ functions. Children who play the game can ‘woo’ NPCs, then have an option to ‘fight’ or ‘make-whoopee’. If the player chooses the first option, a standard video game turn-based fight will occur.
Using the second option, one player’s character will begin to fondle the NPC. If the NPC is receptive, a cut-scene will occur where the two will scamper off into a forest and in a closed area, ‘consumate’ with pretty intense graphics.
If the NPC does not respond well to being fondled, the player still has an option to ‘pursue’, where the character can fight the NPC and try to pin it to the ground. If successful, the character will begin grinding its hips above the subdued NPC and moan louder and louder, until a loud moan is heard and the NPC is sodomized against its will.
This sort of gameplay is beyond sick. Throughout the game, anonymous strangers can flirt with one another using ‘relationship boosting tasks’, get ‘roommates’ and ‘traveling companions’, all standard homosexual lingo for Twinky Winky boyfriend.
Once a marriage partnership is connected, when in a purchased home players can climb into bed and press Circle to groan and Triangle to moan. It’s well known that Circles are the symbol of homosexuality (the shape of a loose colon entrance) and a Pink Triangle, as found on the Xbox, is the sign of lesbianism (triangle is similar to an exposed tongue).
Even worse is the orgies. Lesbian and homosexual married couples on the game can go into the “Dawnlands” and have giant homofisted, slapjacking orgies where clamdabbling lesbian dragons, elf anal ticklings and bared thighed homosexuality is rampant and visibly seen on screen. Here two homosexual characters in the game perform reverse sodomy. The game’s intense 3-d engine makes all of these things in your face and it’s no different than the corner homo in your downtown throbbing a master dangle in the face of your daughter or son.
Next, I will show you a gay marriage that took place in Skyrim. This is for you critics out there who will try to deny the homosexuality in this game or cannot believe a company would make a game like this.
- Sinful
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- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Tiernan Kincaid
8:43 am
Hey Guys ur so freaking right
after playing skyrim i felt in being a homosexual the i rode what u write her after this i just wanted to make sex with u all christwire made me so gay and horny i just wanted to f*** this website and all of they’re creaters i must do it cause god forces me to do this is so great that i also want to have sex with god to and after this i want to do it with every thing which is men and a life also not alife to i just want to make gay sex with everything in the world expect christwire and god and thanks buddha after i die i can write on my tombstone see in in 3 secs.#after that i’ll do it so long again till i see the nirvana.
i love u christwire u changed my mind wouldn’t u be here i would never felt in being such a gay <333
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9:59 am
Skyrim is made by Bethesda, not Blizzard. AND isn’t it the christian way to love and tolerate? You are not tolerating, and instead are angry at everything that you don’t like. At a younger age I was actually a bit interested in christianity, but then all this started coming up.
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6:09 pm
There’s a difference between being intolerant of other faiths and warning people danger. SkyRim is dangerous. What Chrise are doing is no different to a television report about a chemical spill or terrorist attack.
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3:45 am
I don’t think you understand that this site has more gay remarks on than I’ve heard any gay talk about.
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5:26 pm
christians are just another thing like scientologie
and if it is loike this it’s the same thing like my other post
so is jesus an alien
i want aliengaysex with jesus
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10:22 am
Wait, what’s “whoop-ee”?
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10:46 am
The computer game “Skyrim” teachers youngsters useful skills for the post-Rapture world, like hunting, killing violent bandits and wild beasts, smithing weapons etc., but because of this nasty homosexual pervert a True Christ believer stays away from it.
Girl children, of course, have no need for computers because they only get in the way in the kitchen.
There are others, much better simulations of post Rapture world available. Take “deer hunter”, for example. In it, you walk in a landscape wonderfully void of sinners and make your living by hunting dangerous beasts which God has made wonderfully easy to slay. What a life for a man! Halleluja!
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12:14 pm
Biggest bullshit i heard since Jesus existed
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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1:11 pm
Thanks a lot for warning us about this abomination.
This game is already banned in my country but with the interweb such disgusting content still manage to pollute our Christian youth.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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1:44 pm
you should cite your sources. None of this is true. HAIL SATAN 666 I LOVE PENIS FUCK JESUS
Hot debate. What do you think?
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5:28 pm
let us make aliengaysex with jesus together <3!
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4:49 pm
Can I jump in on this?
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3
2:26 pm
so you wnat to bring people back to church by bringing hate and anger into the world ?? you really think people will simply fall for that we are not scared anymore of the religious nutjob you are ?
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3:03 pm
Well… Greeting form Germany to ChristWire!
I do really love your website! Every day I browse through it searching for the newest bullshit and tada: always successful!
You are great, please never stop the lies and jokes!
Made my day
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3:38 pm
hey tiernman, can you show us a video of these gay orgies and rape, i would really like to see how graficaly intence these can possible by in a game made by gods children.
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4:47 pm
Oh hey.
Just want to clear up some factual inaccuracies.
1. Blizzard does not produce The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
2. Blizzard is located in Irvine, California. Or San Francisco… close enough right?
3. ” a Pink Triangle, as found on the Xbox” Actually, the triangle is found on the PS3. Annnnnnd it’s Green. So, yeah.
4. Next time, find a video of the guy saying I do in the video, it just looked like a video of a marriage ceremony, between a man and some other person who wasn’t shown.
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4:56 pm
I must be playing wrong because my circle button opens a menu and triangle makes my character jump instead of the “Groan and Moan” you said it did, also haven’t found any of the gay orgies yet…oh darn.
I won’t deny gay marriage is possible in game (Because it totally is ) and I’m okay with that. Now my Gay Best Friend isn’t stuck to marrying women, good for him.
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4:56 pm
I am an ordained minister and can’t support this site nor it’s teachings. The bible warns us to be on our guard against the Anti-Christ and Anti-Christian teachings. This site, along with many churches are actually being used to spread false information and teach people distorted Christian teachings and values that actually lead people away from the true teachings of Christ. This site is just one tool that Lucifer uses. Be warned my brothers in Christ and be on guard against false teaching, for many are the roads that lead away from God and this site is among them.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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3:25 am
Thanks the truth
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5:13 pm
This game made me want to kill the entire city of Winterhold, unfortunately it all fell into the sea. All that remained were a few buildings and the mages college…….
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6:16 pm
For all you idiots who say gay marriage is not possible in Skyrim, it is. Fortunately, someone has already made a petition to the White House to purge this game in the United States.
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3:56 am
And it’s not going to succed.
There’s a lot worse shit flying around(ya know, guns…Grand Theft Auto….The shit America has for an economy at the moment…Important things) than some video game.
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6:47 pm
Yeah, you definitely can’t “make whoopee” in Skyrim. If you could, I’d have figured out how by this point.
And really, you guys are obsessing over Skyrim when you never even wrote an article decrying “The Witcher 2″. In that one, you can LITERALLY FORNICATE WITH A DEMON. I thought the hooves were gonna get in the way, but it worked out.
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12:24 pm
If you have a pc than there are certain mods you can download just for that…
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8:51 pm
The only thing gay here is how fucked up the christian religion is. “Believe as I say or I’ll hurt you”. Yeah, so what they’re is gay stuff in Skyrim, whoopty fuckin doo. Blizzard did not create Skyrim either you dumb fucks. Bethesda created skyrim.
I swear its become a disgrace to even be a Christian now. You people take shit way too seriously. If anyone needs to go too hell its this idiot christian religion.
Fable has its share of homosexuality. Its a video game. If anyone is influenced by a game then they need to be locked up or murdered. Its a form of entertainment. Homosexuality began in real life before video games started represented it. Not everyone is straight and I do believe in god/jesus.. If all this shit has become such an issue then this religion has become a joke. I’m tempted to revoke my religion because of all this bullshit. Learn how to handle this. Its in real life and it will never change. Gay marriage should be legal. I have gay friends that would love to get married and I would love going too their wedding eventhough I myself am straight.
Its hard to believe a religion this old still has not grown the fuck up.
If Blizzard admitted to makIng young people wanna be gay then fine. They didn’t create the game.
Bethesda created this game. If you are that stupid that you can’t even check the validity of your articles then you should be fired. Try a little fact, not some lie just to trash a game because it has gay material and omg!! A human can marry a lizard. Wtf ever. Grow up. Its a fucking video game meant for entertainment purposes. I forget how my christian brethen are only entertained with their head up gods ass.
-Adam
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1:22 am
GAY and MARRIAGE do not belong in the same sentence without a NO!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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1:29 am
Just like how religion should be removed from everything.
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10:04 am
Gay No Marriage Ami i doing it rite?
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3:19 am
You just used them in one sentence
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2:07 am
Oh, in that case “NO, GAY MARRIAGE is not a bad thing.” Tada, I abide by your rules and used all three words in a sentence, therefore you agree with said statement.
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1:27 am
Are they still talking about skyrim they must be running out of things to bast in church.
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4:11 pm
Really, people? This is what I don’t understand. I have always lived with the idea that I am to honor and respect my neighbor, and to this day, I have regardless of whether I agree with his beliefs or not. Isn’t that supposed to be one of the basic beliefs of Christians? So why are some so intolerant? If those words don’t convince you, look at the bible.
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5:26 pm
reading this
I feel so … atheist
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10:15 pm
No wonder there’s so much sodomy among video gamers today.
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10:23 pm
You can’t even name the company that actually makes the game, how the hell do you know anything about the culture?
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10:28 pm
SODOMY.
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4:52 pm
What are you, 12? Christ you’re immature.
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12:05 am
A qoute from one of my favorite authors:
I am disillusioned enough to know that no man’s opinion on any subject is worth a damn unless backed up with enough genuine information to make him really know what he’s talking about.
— H.P.Lovecraft
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4:46 pm
This was one of my favourite parts;
“Lesbian and homosexual married couples on the game can go into the “Dawnlands” and have giant homofisted, slapjacking orgies where clamdabbling lesbian dragons, elf anal ticklings and bared thighed homosexuality is rampant and visibly seen on screen.”
Can anyone tell me how to access this in-game feature
Because I really want this complete and utter BS to be true.
Please tell me it’s true
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12:09 am
Either that pic is complete bullshit or that’s the whitest Redguard I’ve ever seen. Seriously it’s douches like you who give religion a bad name.
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12:10 am
Either that pic is complete bullshit or that’s the whitest Redguard I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it’s douches like you who give religion a bad name.
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5:55 pm
You guys yourself bring Christianity a bad name. Guess what it’s a sin to lie, you just lied… Oh my god? NO WAY? Im a Christian and when I read this stupid mind numbing idiocy on the Internet, I just want to tear my eyes out in frustration, because everything you post is the biggest bull shit you could imagine. In fact you can’t get skyrims company name right, and call for the white house to prosecute people for this? Way to go though, because I have been playing this game 80 hours and I have yet to see the content you claim is in the game. Please take this site off the Internet, because really, you are a laughing stock, I really hate when Christians do dumb ass things, and I’m a Christian.
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7:08 pm
https://d.facdn.net/art/winddragon/1327802961.winddragon_eggsiblingsfn.jpg
NOPE not gay, but definitely incestuous….
eh if it’s not one sin it’s another, though honestly it amuses me how blind these “Christians” claim to be, throwing around half baked guesses to get rid of videogames that are too violent or too immersive.
if any of you truly understood anything about christ, you’d realize he doesn’t hate anything. he created everything, and the lord loves all of his creation.
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