Chapter the First
HOW I WANTED TO BE A TEA PARTIER…
I dearly wanted to be a member of the Tea Party. I truly did. I’m white, middle-aged, I hold some moderate-progressive views but I also think government spending has gotten out of hand. I’m a patriot, a veteran of nine years service in the United States Navy.
So when the Tea Party held a massive rally in Washington, DC, I went there. I tried to mingle with them. I tried to fit in. But I just couldn’t do it.
My problem? I believe in God. I believed, at the time, his admonitions to us as revealed in his Holy Word, the Bible, that we should treat others as we wish to be treated, that we should care for the sick, that we should show charity to the poor, that whatever we do for the least of our brothers, it’s as if we’ve done it for Christ Jesus himself.
These Tea Party members at the rallies I attended. They were carrying horrible signs. They were CURSING at African American congressmen, SPITTING on them, calling them NAMES!
I was, in the middle of this screaming crowd of my fellow middle-aged white people. They were calling President Obama a communist. Calling him a Marxist. Calling him a Muslim. All of which, of course, are lies. These people, who to a person BENEFIT from the LBJ’s “Great Society” which sprang from JFK’s “New Frontier” were now being used as tools by a right wing machine, I felt, that fooled them into believing that they were NOT acting against their own best interest.
I went home depressed and disillusioned.
How can you call yourself a Christian and knowingly “bear false witness?” How can you call yourself a Christian and tell a sick person to “take care of himself because you won’t do it.” How can you call yourself a Christian and mock a person for the color of his skin?
None of it made any sense…
That is, until later that night.
LO! AN ANGEL OF THE LORD!
An angel appeared to me in a dream. Dressed in glowing golden robes, the angel handed me a large volume of typed, double-spaced manuscript text. Courier New font, 12 picas.
“It is not the tea partiers who are wrong,” the angel said. “It’s their Bible. It’s been misinterpreted. What you now have in your hands is God’s word as He MEANT for it to be read. Go therefore unto the nation and the world; make them aware of this new, correct translation of God’s word into the English vernacular, easy for the dimmest of your Tea Party people to understand. They commit no wrong in God’s eyes. Tell them to keep up the good work and vote Republican in November.”
The angel disappeared, and when I awoke the manuscript was still clutched in my hands. I leafed through it and, by golly, the angel was RIGHT! The Tea Partiers weren’t violating God’s word by calling for government to get out of their health care. They weren’t being hypocrites for accepting Medicare and Social Security while hating those who receive other forms of Government assistance. Their racial prejudices, their inexplicable hatred of things they didn’t understand. It was all right there. In God’s NEWLY REVEALED WORD!
So, as the angel told me, it’s time to go forth into the nations and the world and spread his NEW word. Greed is OK. It’s not lying if you do it for a good reason. Theft is perfectly fine as long as the person you are stealing from is a sucker or otherwise deserves it.
See for yourself in my following essays!