• Twilight Breaking Dawn Reviews with Christian Abe Goodman – Watch Online Now

    November 18, 2011 3:36 pm 8 comments

    Movie Review: Twilight Breaking Dawn
    Moral Movie Rating: S (Sinister) for
    sex scenes and vampire baby blood orgies

    For you parents out there who wonder if Twilight Breaking Dawn is a good movie for your son or daughter to see, I first want to ask you if watching a bloody werewolf tear out of the womb of your daughter while vampires throw an orgy is your idea of good, wholesome family fun?

    Because that is the main scene of this sick, grotesque film.  I’ll just ruin it right now!  The vampires of the movie rescue Bella from a den of wolves, where a shirtless, Mexican werewolf has abducted Bella and keeps her in his chambers.   In the last movie, Twilight New Blood Moon, Edward Cullen revealed he wanted to marry Bella.  She agreed and they were to consumate their marriage in this movie.

    Many parents were tricked into thinking this movie was wholesome.  Marriage was to at least be established before all the bared flesh scenes, as if that makes it better for your naive daughter and her hormone addled boyfriend to see.  But before we even get to the vampire kink fest, there was a secret affair!

    At the beginning of this movie, Bella begins to play with Jacob the Mexican Werewolve’s abdominal muscles!  It is a case of lusty Stockholm Syndrome that we see.  After being abducted, Bella cannot resist and begins to squirm and gyrate, her fear of the other wolves in the den and arousal from Jacob’s panting in her ear causing her to become flushed and agitated with the deepest of arousal.  No longer able to contain her vampire lusts, she gives in, strips down and a flesh pounding session between a vampire-human and werewolf ensue.  They leave nothing to the imagination!

    This is a morality cropped photo I took with my digital camera at the theater.  In the movie, everyone gets an eyeful of Bella’s full womanhood and the werewolf’s backside.  You can see Bella here is flushed with coital excitement, her supple, firm body quivering and giving in to Jacob’s werewolf orgy thrusts.  You can see in this clip, that other werewolves in the pack get to take their turns jumping her body and she enjoys it!  Even a Judas vampire named Carlisle jumps in the action!  It is a werewolf rompus in that den and this all happens before this scene:

    The following day, Carlisle ‘warns’ Edward Cullen that the wolves have abducted Bella and are ‘forcing her’ to be a bed maid so she will become pregnant with deadly vampire-lycan hybrids.  These ‘newborns’ will have the speed and power of a vampire, and the brute endurance of a pack wolf.  It would be impossible for the vampires to beat the creature and the wolves would finally be able to defeat any vampires once and for all.

    Upon hearing this news, Edward Cullen pairs up with a family named the Volturi.   The Volturi are old blood vampires, powerful and wealthy.  They long warned of the dangers of the werewolves and their scheming ways to impregnate vampire women to create a new master army.

    With all the betrayals in place, Carlisle is torn between wanting to kill off powerful vampires and help out his own kind.  In the scene, we see him eagerly killing his own people and flinging their bodies into the mouths of wolves who would usually be killed.  In another scene, Carlisle and his gay son are seen giving wolves instructions on how to better fight vampires so they can stand a fighting chance.

    All of this betrayal is done with the promise that Carlisle could have his turn thrusting into Bella, which he did.  Edward Cullen is kept naive to all of this.  And after the fight scene, Bella cries and deceived Edward.  She says she ‘only kissed” Jacob.

    So Edward is now only upset about a kiss, not knowing the full betrayal orgy Bella enjoyed with the wolves and Carlisle the full moon night before in the den. He is able to get over the kiss and Bella keeps telling him “It’s petty, it was just a kiss”. Edward was dumb enough to buy this and this sends a bad message to all the young men watching this movie.

    If there is anything to learn, young men, is if a woman is laying in a the bed of some horndog wolf for the night and SHE kisses him, they did more than just kiss. She’ll try to make up lies and excuses, saying nothing else happened. If the woman lets in an inch, believe the wolf finished and took a whole mile.

    “Team Jacob” took so many miles that they had a gonad swapout orgyfest.

    The movie ends with Edward speaking softly and not looking much like a vampire, but rather a anemic three-weeks on a desert island plane crash survivor with Vitamin D defiency, on Prozac. He doesn’t have the fierce anger or smug posturings to be a good vampire, but whatever works. He’s only there to believe a woman’s lies and to bend to her will.

    Edward and Bella then have a raunchy 3am on Showtime flesh fest and consumate their marriage. I already warned everyone of this part of the movie and Twilight’s producers gave me a call and demanded I remove the images, which I did, but you can still see the shocking power of the reaction.

    Thousands of parents have already written to me, concerned and angry about all the filth in this movie.  It is nothing but a fest of bared skin, bloody fights and orgies.

    The movie’s final scene is ‘riveting’ as it captures a Helen of Troy moment.  Angry that their brood mother Bella has been stolen, the wolves foolishly attack the vampire’s layer.  Enthralled and under the possesion of a dark cult chant they were just doing, the vampires steal out and even the vegan Cullen family has the taste for blood.

    They tear the wolves apart, feasting upon the blood of the poor creatures all while throwing an orgy at the same time.  As this weird war is all happening, Edward is canoodling with Bella whose stomach has been growing fast, at an exponentional rate.

    Edward has the father’s gleam in his eyes, Bella spreading her legs and saying ‘it’s time for the new birth’.  As the poor CGI wolves are making their last stand in scenes of quick, closeup camera shots and horrible music, and the obligatory ‘dramatic rain’ that’s been overdone since The Matrix Revolutions, Edward reaches down and tells Bella to push.

    Then, born before Edward, is not a child of his own.  But a child of a wolf.

      Shocked and crying, Edward cleans up the child and asks Bella “Why?” 

    Bella can only apologize and said, “I gave in to my lusts, I am so sorry Edward.  I am so sorry.”

    Knowing that the vampires will also kill this child and Bella if they see it, Edward uses his devil powers to jump through the ceiling and take Bella and Edward back to a secret wolve’s den, where wolf survivors from the prior battle have fled and are in hiding from the powerful Volturi, who are still hunting them down.

    Jacob is laying in the chambers, surrounded by a Mexican looking family.  He’s injured and looks terrified to see Edward, but he notes Cullen is holding Bella and a child.  “Let him in”, Jacob says.

    Edward then uncovers the child and it is revealed to be a werewolf baby, the baby of Jacob and Bella.  Edward throws his marriage ring off his finger and Bella pleads his forgiveness.

    Edward turns around and says, “You will need this hybrid child, for soon the full wrath of all vampires will be upon you.”

    With that, the movie ends with Edward losing his mind and tearing through a city, biting as many people as people and sucking their blood.  The fractured wolfpack all look to the hybrid child, wondering how fast it will grow and if it can help them stop the vampires from overtaking the entire world.

    The movie ends with Bella whispering, “Edward, forgive me”.

    Parents, this film is about demons taking over the Earth.  The producers are trying to get your kids to be sympathetic to Mexicans, demon spirits, marriage betrayals, bastard babies and all the works.  I plead with you, please stop your children from seeing this movie.

    And if you think it is safe because you preread the books, you are wrong.  The ‘shocking twist’ in this movie is that instead of vampire babies, we have Bella giving birth to a wolf baby because she had bed relations with an entire den of wolves!  Ban your naive children from seeing this flick!

    Movie:  Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1

    Movie Rating:  S for Sinister for (blood orgies, Judas betrayals, flesh bared, neck biting, demonics, adultery, kissing, violence, potty language, differs from book to trick parents)

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    About The Author
    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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