November 2, 2011 1:30 am 5 comments
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  • There are many sadists around me.

    Black Swan

    A scary insane movie I will never ever watch again

    One of them thought it would be fun to have me watch the movie Black Swan, a movie about a lesbian anorexic schizophrenic ballerina. This was one of the worst movies I ever watched. The main character is Nina, a ballerina who is insane and scary. Nina has a stalker who is Mila Kunis who is also herself and Nina has lesbian relations with Mila Kunis. Nina is a ballerina in the play Swan Queen and she plays the White swan and the black swan, but the pedophilic effeminate french director thinks she is not black enough and must endure sexual relations with him to stop being so White. Nina and Mila Kunis and the french Man swear a lot. Nina is very skinny and looks like a holocaust victim. Nina dies at the end in a very scary sequence in which a big red blood flower shows up on her dress and she falls to her death uttering the word perfection. There are also scenes in bath tubs and scenes of fingers falling apart. I implore you all to boycott this movie.


    Math is bad

    My sadistic peers saw how terrified I was of Balck Swan and brought me to this movie by the same director, Darren Aronofsky. Pi is about a jewish Man named Cohen who knows lots about numbers and is also a schizophrenic. Cohen appears to be asexual. Math is Satan’s favorite sport, as we all know, hense the usage of 666. True Christians hate numbers. Cohen is looking for big threatening numbers that seem to be important to people. An Afro-Saxon woman from wall street finds out he knows how to predict the stock market, and a cult of jewish Men find out that he knows the number that is the “secret to god”. This movie is in black and White. I think this director has an obsession with race. Everything is black or White in his films. Numbers are hard and hard is bad. Jesus makes things easy for all of his true followers, therefore Jesus does not approve of math. A jewish math professor get’s mad at Cohen for studying math. Cohen has a big computer he built himself, and it starts ejecting worms at the end. Cohen also drills a hole in his head. There is a very scary scene in which the jewish Men and the Afro-Saxon women yell at Cohen. There is also a lot of swearing in this movie.

    I will never ever watch one of these movies ever again. Darren Aronofsky must be friends with these sadists. Good, Christian Moral Movies you can watch instead are: The Last Song, Hannah Montana The Movie, Camp Rock, The Brady Bunch, and Soul Surfer.

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    About The Author
    Christopher Christenson Republican, American, Christian, Man, Carnivore, White, Hero, Genius, Brave. All words that adequately describe Christopher Christenson. At the ripe young age of 28, Christopher has been writing for Christwire for quite a while, when he isn't warding off the North Koreans from attacking or mentoring youth at his church. Because of his young age, he is able to connect with the young people whilst still charming our beloved elderly. Christopher is fascinated by the grotesque trends among youth and will stop at nothing to investigate. You can contact him on his website.

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