Whale Surfer Judged for Wearing Racy Bikini, Eye-Glossed Kayakers Get Warning Too
A woman now only known as ‘the whale surfer’ is making internatinoal headlines after God sent the very whale that ate Jonah to judge her for her sins!
For it is written:
Leviticus 21:9: ..If she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire!
I cannot think of nothing more sinful than two strings away from baring your slippery sally and juggle milk for all to see! You whores of Babylon, parading in the ocean and trying to bring attention to your body glistening under God’s warm Sun!
The Beach Boys sang I wish they can all be California Girls! Well, I wish they can be California HURLed into hell! This judgement beast was sent from God!
The woman defiled God’s waters by baring her milk jugs in a bikini! The flesh temptation the kayakers were enjoying! God used his mighty powers to summon the very beast that ate Jonah for not going to Ninevah! Beware, whores. God has an all seeing eye and the parable of the whale surfer is now born!
Women who bare their chests, beware, for it hungers the belly of the greatest beast, Satan! This was God showing off the pitbulls that guard Tartarus before unleashing all whores into hell! If he wanted, he could have had a shark bite them all or even worse, let Satan just snatch them through the ocean and into the center of Earth. Watch this video and be warned what happends if you dress like a whore, beachies!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
11:38 am
Give me a good old canoe any day. This kayak trend is just silly looking. How do those things support people with full bodies? What happens when you flip over in the water with your legs stuck down into those things? These things look deadly, and I’m not talking about the sharks!
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6:26 pm
“What happens when you flip over in the water with your legs stuck down into those things?”
That’s exactly the reason you won’t catch me dead in one of those deathtraps.
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