What colleges is a christian man permitted to attend?

If you are a Moral and ambitious youngster you prombably want to go to college. But what colleges are safe for a Good Christian Boy where he can fluorish in the presence of Christ?

Harvard

Harvard is best known for being the university of Barrack Hussein Obama and Mike Zuckerberg of facebook and for being the first university ever invented. Harvard is in the very liberal state of massacchussetts, the state best known for being comprised 89% of homosexual liberal college professors who masturbate every day to the image of a scientific atom spaceship with the image of Fabio and David Bowie playing twiddlerompus plastered to the side crushing the Beautiful Manly Perfection that is Jesus. Quite sad, really. But I digress. Harvard is full of liberals, commies, jews, asians, feminazis, nerds, atheists and homosexuals and enablers of the homogay agenda.

VERDICT: CHRISTIANS STAY AWAY

Princeton

It’s in New Jersey.

VERDICT: STATE OF SIN

MIT

MIT is known for being an atheist nerd center of sinister Cthulhu and Spock worship. Statistically 108% of all people there are athiests who believe in the scientific satanist agenda. To demonstrate its true colors, it has a club called Campus Crusaders for Cthulhu. It is also known for playing cruel and traumatizing pranks on the world with its science and engineering and math wizards of doom.

VERDICT: YOUR SANITY IS PRECIOUS, DON’T JEOPARDIZE ITS SAFETY

University of Californicate, Berkeley

Berkeley is in the land of Californicate, home to illegal mexicans and evil hollywood. Berkeley is especially scary because it is full of liberal hipstersexuals, hippies, flaming homos, occupy wall street protesters and prochoice supporters. It will terrify and corrupt you, and it statistically has a 45% chance of being home to satan.

VERDICT: FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY

All liberal arts colleges

Liberal arts colleges are known for having lots of woman. It is a well known fact that all women who go to university are envious of men and are confused and are lesbians. These places are also known for being full of blacks, homosexuals, hippies, hipstersexuals and emosexuals. They promote liberals and arts. It is a well known fact that the only truly Good fields are christian reporting, the clergy and football.

VERDICT: DONT BE A HYPOCRITE

Bringham Young University

Bringham Young may seem like a wonderful oasis haven because of its general disapproval of sin, but it is owned by mormons and you have to be a mormon to go there. A true christian is not a mormon and is submissive to the Majestic Christly Beauty that is Jesus, and Jesus hates mormons.

REMEMBER JESUS’S GUIDANCE!

Georgetown

While an idealistic Christian may want to go into politics and save the world, it is implausible. Georgetown is known for being a political college. Unfortunately, it is in the land of Washington DC, home to all of the corrupt liberal democrap politicians, a land not even an army of Glenn Beck’s and Sarah Palin’s could save. It is also known for having lot’s of Afro-Saxons. I advise against this, as it will corrupt you.

VERDICT: A GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN DOES NOT GO TO DC

Vanderbilt and Duke

Vanderbilt and Duck are both in the South, also known as the only Moral and Good and not corrupt place in the US. These places are known for being Christian and for their Conservative environments.

VERDICT: GO HERE OR PREPARE TO FELL THE WRATH OF SATANS ARMY