• Why are the liberals So Obsessed With dolphins?

    November 18, 2011 11:41 pm 50 comments
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  • Dolphins and liberals seem to have a very strange and perverted relationship. If you go to a zoo or an aquarium you will no doubt see the shameless promotion of dolphins. Young children everywhere have dolphin toys. The liberal elite constantly is making more and more movies and books about dolphins. The liberal agenda seems to live vicariously through dolphins. This is very bizarre and needs to be stopped.

    Dolphins come in three colors. The most common is blue. As you know, blue is the official color of the democrap party. Less common are pink and purple. Pink is the color of femininity and purple is a color representing the homogay lifestyle. There is clearly some sinister liberal propaganda happening with that. In addition, dolphins are the only other species where they choose to be sinfaeries. Dolphins are also boastful and like to do special but questionable tricks and dances for crowds, not unlike liberals and their homogay allies.

    In the atheist propaganda book Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, a claim is made that dolphins are smarter than humans, and are the second smartest animal after mice. This is not true. Christians are the smartest beings and the only religion dolphins are smart enough to have is atheism. However, the liberals want to feel special, so they listen to these lies of dolphin intelligence. They believe that dolphins are “pure” and “natural” and smart enough to accept the gay agenda and they believe that the dolphins have compassion for them, best evidenced in the film Titanic when the boat leaves the dock and a two dolphins do jumps in front of the boat to celebrate the time they will spend with the rich liberal elite.

    The liberals are so obsessed with dolphins that they believe that when a dolphin dies, a part of them dies as well. In 2007 there was a movie about this called the Cave directed by a dolphin-obsessed liberal about asians who kill dolphins. It is heavily biased and it is racist. Meanwhile, they ignore the dolphin’s tendencies to enact gang-rape scenes and bloody violence. Unless that is a parallel of the liberal’s behavior. Either way, a dolphin is not a Christian animal, so stay away. I suggest a fascination with Jesus instead.

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    About The Author
    Christopher Christenson Republican, American, Christian, Man, Carnivore, White, Hero, Genius, Brave. All words that adequately describe Christopher Christenson. At the ripe young age of 28, Christopher has been writing for Christwire for quite a while, when he isn't warding off the North Koreans from attacking or mentoring youth at his church. Because of his young age, he is able to connect with the young people whilst still charming our beloved elderly. Christopher is fascinated by the grotesque trends among youth and will stop at nothing to investigate. You can contact him on his website.

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