Chinese Create World’s “Largest Sucking Insect” As New Homosexual Pets
It’s a well known fact that gays daydream about blowholes and rod like objects once every 30 seconds as they sit filing their nails, as their little easy secretary and nursing jobs, so the new GE (genetic engineer) creature that the Chinese have made will surely be a top item on every gay’s Christmas list this year.
Now take a good look at that image and know that when this ‘novelty’ pet hits the stores in the US, it will be just like dousing a heated kitten with catnip. Gays will mew, hiss and stomp in delight, arching their backs in anticipation of what this ‘secret pet’ can do to them behind closed doors.
The Chinese call this abomination the Giant Weta. It is a cloned hybrid injected with human growth hormone. The animal does not have any teeth, but rather a ‘soft and moist’ gum area that it uses to suckle anything put into its mouth, be it syrup or an object shaped like a carrot with two almonds attached! You know what I’m talking about.
This bug is apparently heavier than three mice and bigger than most game birds. The wingspan is 7 inches long each, making you think the Chinese actually may have created these little hellspawn death gliders as an instrument of terror or war.
I wish it were still 1940s, because I would gladly ring up good President Truman and tell him there was one more NUKE MISSION that need to be carried out. Target: Beijing!
Beijing must stand for ‘Satan’s little town on Earth’ because every one of the dragon worshipping, squinted with evil eyes residents there do nothing but haunt my dreams and create gay pleasing items like this sick abomination! Why are we still allowing lesser nations to do genetic manipulation?
What if these creature gets out of a gay’s home and mates in the wild! It’ll be plague and famine in our nation! Farms ravaged as this mouth sucklking homo pleaser masticates on corn on the cob and gives wheat stalks the business.
Already, gays in Australia have been buying this in their circuit there and the gays in the US have long been looking to replace their chihuahuas and chinchillas with something even more flamboyant!
 The creature is bigger than a human’s hand in its larval form to the right. That is just not right for a insect animal to be that big.
We must continue to protest all Chinese science. Just like Iran, the Chinese have no right to create animals such as this without American permission.
Only a fool would tell China they have the right to have much technology, lest we suffer the horrors of Pearl Harbor yet again.
If a suspiciously gay person happens to seem very happy this Holiday Season and is putting a little bit too much hum in their usual “Bah, Humbug!” when you mention the word CHRISTmas, tell them they are a Jimminy Cricket defililing leg harp pervert and you will laugh when they burn in hell!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
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- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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12:20 am
You fucking moron, that’s not meant to be a pet, and it isn’t going to be sold in stores either. It’s a giant bug that was found recently.
And Adam says that you should be respected.
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12:33 am
Your first paragraph was insulting…and I’m not even gay…Although my best friend is. And he dosen’t have a (and I quote this directly from the atricle) “little easy secretary and nursing jobs” He works for a shipping company, lifting and moving heavy boxes around for hours on end. He also dosen’t file his nails…
As for the bug…It’s a bug…A big freakin bug. One of your “god’s” creations actually. Possibly either a cricket or grasshopper…I can never tell the different..Either way, it likes to eat it’s veggies
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12:29 am
I bet your “friend” loves being around sweating men and bending over all the time doesnt he? Freaks.
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4:11 pm
I assume you put friends in quotes because you assume I’m saying friend to hide the fact I’m gay? Which is false, he was friend back in middle school and then he came out of the closet in highschool and I was happy that he finally accepted himself as he truly was. I’d gladly be his bestman at his wedding. If people like you weren’t so keen on making sure gays have no rights.
And he is not a freak, he is a human being who accepted his true self and is now happy with himself. If he loves eing around sweaty men and taking it from behind, thats what he likes. Not my job to shun or change him.
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2:01 pm
Christwire creates the world’s “biggest pile of shit” to replace people’s minds with.
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12:30 am
“dousing a heated kitten with catnip” I prefer dousing kittens with heated water. It shuts up their mewing outside my door real quick.
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1:58 am
The perversion of Godless Communists is unbounded! I will pray for these homosexual-abetting heathens. Thank you for bringing this important development in depravity to the flock’s attention, Brother Abe.
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9:15 am
rofl
u guys do know, that no bug has teeth, do you? What they have are mandibles to get their food into the right size. And you can clearly see those on that fella.
btw: giant weta is kinda cool
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4:48 pm
HMM Interesting many mistake not only grammatically speaking but oh well
“you think the Chinese actually may have created these little hellspawn death gliders as an instrument of terror or war.”
You created the terror and chinese never actually attacked any other country (exception of taiwan which was like 50-60 years ago)
“I wish it were still 1940s, because I would gladly ring up good President Truman and tell him there was one more NUKE MISSION that need to be carried out. Target: Beijing!”
You sound Like Adam Nelson, you want to destroy a city just because you are scared of some “insect” ?
“Beijing must stand for ‘Satan’s little town on Earth’ because every one of the dragon worshipping, squinted with evil eyes residents there do nothing but haunt my dreams and create gay pleasing items like this sick abomination! Why are we still allowing lesser nations to do genetic manipulation?”
USA is not great and never been great so calling china “lesser” would just mean you have a superiority complex, which is why the world hate you
Also I see blatant racism toward this paragraph
“We must continue to protest all Chinese science. Just like Iran, the Chinese have no right to create animals such as this without American permission.”
China is a sovreign Nation like Iran is. They don’t need your permission actually.
“Only a fool would tell China they have the right to have much technology, lest we suffer the horrors of Pearl Harbor yet again.”
Or someone who is not scared of some “insect” Pearl harbour was actually Japanese and it’s because of your own misguidance that make the attack of pearl harbour possible
“when you mention the word CHRISTmas, tell them they are a Jimminy Cricket defililing leg harp pervert and you will laugh when they burn in hell!”
Hell doesn’t exist and christmas is actually a pagans Holiday
So What I see is you scared of an actual insect that existed way before you come ranting about China
If you want to Nuke Beijing can we nuke washington DC ?
If you answer No than you have no right to nuke any other country
Oh and USA are the Greatest Terrorist In history
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10:40 am
I hear they’ve started shaving mice, dipping them in vaseline, tying string around their legs, and letting them scurry around inside a man’s bowells. It’s probably the same godless freaks who created this pornographic locust.
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10:48 am
Claire actually helps one of her gay friends do this, pretty gross and shows how much Chinese anime culture has negatively influenced the collegiate and trade school youth of our nation.
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