• Divine: Tim Tebow Wins Another Game In Final Minutes

    December 12, 2011 3:59 am 8 comments

    The Birth of Tim Tebow

    Tim Tebow is the Fran Tarkington of the modern era.  Critics don’t know what to make of the man who stands strong in faith and even stronger in the ability of being ‘clutch’.  There is one thing that is for certain about Tebow, something that no one can deny.  He’s a leader who is inspiring his team to win games in clutch situations.

    Today the Archdiocese of Clutch had to lead his brave Broncos against the ancient soldiers of nasty, the Chicago Bears.    And at the end of the game, not even a frustrated Mike Ditka chewing a stale piece of bazooka gum as the temperatures dropped well below 20 degrees and the ice cold steel helmets of the 80s era anti-Soviet Bears cracked any opponents ribs could have stopped the unstoppable divine power of Tebow to win games.

    That is to say, Tebow’s Broncos won the game, in overtime of course, by a score of 13 – 10 after a stellar field goal by Matt Prater.

    Now some critics would say that Prater won the game, with his two field goals totalling over 110 yards.  While the number is impressive, Prater would not have held his position if Tebow wouldn’t have stood strong with poise, inspiring his team to play their best.  We are seeing a new version of the Broncos.  They know they are part of something special, something legendary.  When their grandkids watch ESPN 2 from their widescreen plasma holgraphic 3d iPhone XIX in the future, they will see ancient film reels of a man named Tebow having an aura about his head as all of his teammates seem to almost play in their positions with a skill and mind ‘beyond normal men’.

    And that’s what this is all about.  The way Tebow wins games is unorthodox.  He defeated the admittedly horrible Chiefs by only throwing for 68 yards, but lead his troops in a ground game that would give nightmares to even the most seasoned war veteran.  He was playing backyard tackle football.  The type of game that you would play with your childhood friends, but there was such a pure fun and iconic way that game went, along with all his others, that you get a sense that history is truly in the making.

    The victory over the Bears today represented Denver’s 6th straight win.  3 of these wins, count them, have come in overtime.  “The Mile High Messiah” is lording over these victories with a calm yet exciting glint to his eyes.  He does not think God is on his side.  He knows God is on his side.  And that is why he is and should remain Denver’s starting quarterback.

    For you nonbelievers, look at this:

    2:00 were left in the game.  In frozen Green Bay, the always nefarious and horrid Raiders were slated for a 46-16 thumping by the Packers.  The ghost of Favre still haunts the town, or so it is said.  And while the Raiders were being spooked, with 2:08 seconds left in the Broncos – Bears game, it seemed Tebow and his crew were in for a beatdown themselves.

    The score was 10 – 0.  Just like times of old, the mighty Bears defense had angrily swiped at their opponents, showing the ferocity of an angered winter grizzly that had just been awoken from his slumber by a pack of gonad stinging honeybees!  They were angry my friends and putting a hurting on the Broncos.

    It seemed there was nothing the Broncos could do to overcome this obstacle.  Could it be that the defensive weapon the enemy had formed against Tebow had prospered, despite wisdom to the contrary from scripture?  As the Bears tried to run out the clock and roll the stone over the grave for the Broncos winning streak, on the sideline, a fit young man took to one knee.  He held his head down in reverence.  It was at this moment, Tebow sought a force that not even the legendary Johnny Unitas could call upon in his stellar career:  divinity.

     On one bended knee before his country’s God, Tebow asked for the wisdom needed to overcome this battle.

    In war, we always credit the president for victory.  In the 1700s, it was the faith of George Washington that overcame the redcoats.

    During the 1800s, a bearded hero named Abraham Lincoln kept America flourishing and unified.

    And during the 1980s, it was none other than our dear beatified leader Ronald Reagan who commanded the US economy, military and science as we overcome a great dire Soviet threat of nuclear damnation.

    And so it has come to pass the epoch of George W. Bush fighting off terrorists that Tim Tebow’s time for ascension to greatness by faith has come upon us.

    Immediately after his prayer, Tebow was blessed.  A lightning quick TD pass to Demaryius Thomas immediately worried Bears fans, as they had heard rumors of Tebow’s abilities when all hope seems lost.

    Then ffor reasons unknown, some ‘supernatural’ force caused Marion Barber to run out of bounds with 53 seconds left in the game.  Bewildered Bears fans sat wideyed, all witnesses to another Sunday miracle in the making.

    Like clockwork, Tebow drove the Broncos 39 yards for a Prater kicked that easily soared through the uprights.

    Overtime.

    The Bears won the toss and managed to get into field goal range.  On Twitter and Facebook, atheists were starting to gloat ‘There is NO GOD!’ as it looked as if Tebow’s Broncos were going to lose this miracle game.  But there is a God, friends, and he controls everything.

    Today’s target was the mind of Marion Barber.  Typically a good running back, Barber found himself again the victim of having lesser prayers and faith.  On a crucial running play well within field goal range, for reasons unknown to faithless Americans the hands of Marion Barber failed to work correctly, causing him to instantly cough up the football into the waiting hands of the Broncos’ Elvis Dumvervil.

    At this point, fans new the fate of this game.  And one Tebow inspired field goal later, the Broncos had yet another victory.

    Tebow ran the ball for 12 times for a total of 49 yards, adding a 21 of 40 passes at 236 yards, his season’s best.

    And trust, friends, ’tis the season of Tebow in the NFL.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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