As Rick Parry has recently reminded everyone, we are a Christian nation. That is why now more than ever Christwire has to be vigilant in analyzing new data on things that may threaten America. The Call of Duty trilogy has been a long running successful PC Console slash-em-up game developed by Electric Arts. Young children waste away hours on this game, living off of diet coke 4lokos and hot pocket bagel bites while their parents struggle to bring them under control and get them out the door to Church where they belong.
(Stay tuned for more Next Generation game reviews from Christwire, don’t put your child’s gaming salvation in other people’s hands!)
When you are away at work your child is playing this dangerous Gayme and being exposed to DADT simulations, post-match “cybering” hookups, teabagging victories, and blood screen ass play orgies. Please pay attention as ChristWire details the dangers that this game poses for your Christian child:
Gay Magnet Graphics
This is the exact kind of sick thing gays are attracted to because Homosexuals love pretending to be muscle ripped real masculine men with rough and tumble analingus adventures. Modern Warefare 3 provides detailed masculinity graphics for homosexuals to fantasize with and ever since Obama went against the American people and allowed gays to now begin infilitrating our Armed Forces, gays have been itching and scratching (and not just because of their drug-fueld fecal festivals) to get in on this DTF military action. The gays and lesbos that haven’t yet slithered their way into the army get their slimey dildo-strapped kicks and tween tangling fix on Modern Warfare 3.
Just imagine your child teamspeaking, voice chatting, and doing ventrilo with outsourced homosexuals from all of the nasty third world countries on this Earth?
This game is truly one big Gay Magnet that attracts homosexuals like a magnet and is a dishonor to America’s armed forces.
Blood Gore Sex Gameplays
This game plays like a Micheal Moore Transformers 2 flaming mudmingle, with as much GayPower as a Hiroshima American Pride bomb. Players are air dropped into an arena and given the most high advanced weapons of the world to kill, maime, and rape with. After a player strokes their gun barrel and spurts their bullets into the face of their enemy with a clean kill they are encouraged by Electric Arts to celebrate their kill by crouching and wiping their stinky twin potato sack all over the dead man’s body like a mexican housemaid scrubbing her Lemon Pledges on your bathroom tile floor. These celebrations can last anywhere from 5 mintues to 3 hours depending on how many other players decided to participate.
In addition to the satisfying reward of dangling their twiddle rompus players acquire “POINTSTREAKS”. When a player becomes injured their Character rubs his blood stadistically across the screen, letting the player know it is time for a Blood Screen orgy. The player must now throw their WD-40 M16 weapons on the ground and find other players with Blood Screen to engage in a 3 way, 5 way, or 10 way bloody orgy the likes of which has never been seen on a Electric Arts Modern Warefare 3 game before. It was at this point of that game I had to stop playing, even as a journalist performing research.
However, I do know that you can spend these POINTSTREAKS to “level up” skills used to kill other players. Here is a list of them taken straight from the game:
Pointstreak “level up” skills and point streak cost:
4 PS: UAV – Urinary Assault Vehicle
5 PS: Leather bondage vest
5 PS: Airdrop Cracked coke-canes powder
8 PS: SAM turret – Synchronized Ass Maiming Turret
10 PS: K9 – Pack of wild gay dogs appear to have bestiality relationships
15 PS: Juggernaught – Hairy gay man bear appears to dominate power bottom players
20 PS: Escort Airdrop: Gay Escort is airdropped to assist in Blood Screen orgies
25: EMP – Electric Man Piercer
If all this bloody war sex wasn’t enough after the match ends a board pops up and shows who is the most sex crazed player with topping and bottoming ratios. Keeping a good ratio is directly related to a homosexual’s influence in the gay community. Many of these players use the score board to have a post-match sexual cybering session to warm up for their next round of Modern Warefare 3. Many players post their scoreboard to their Facebook or Pinterest Pinboard, which is a popular homogay webiste commonly used for sharing gay twink pics and planning gay “weddings.”
The sheer amount of violence in this game is appalling and shows just how little homogay people care about human life. If there was any room in this game for abortion toking then they would have stuck in their pro-abortionist message as well as their DADT fantasies. Violence in video games is at an alltime high and it is made out to your child be a social norm through promotion of “Clans”. Clans are social groups of players who play together for easier and quicker access to the ventriloing gay world of MW3, basically a nazi youth group run by your own child. Clan members have loyalty to each other and are “owned” by their clan leader. The clan leader diplays its dominance in many ways, the most visible being the clan “tags” that precede a player’s name.
The clan leader also makes it known which players are their blood orgy slaves by typing or voice chatting “OWNED” or by saying “NOOB TWINK” for all to hear. Gay egos are notoriously aggressive on Xbox-lived game chatrooms and display of dominance is often challenged with flaming obscenities.
If your child has played this game it is important that you stop talking to them immediately and send them off without warning somewhere where they can get their homosexuality fixed. If you don’t, your child could perform teabagging victories the next time they win at a sport like basketball, or when they bleed from a cut they will seek out a bloody orgy with young classmates.
Please help end this gay act of terror against your child in your community by spreading the word.