We all know gays favorite holiday pastime is playing spike the nog with phalic spaddle and a thrilling round of hanky panky reverse banana moonslide monkey baby with each other’s backsides. But even more dangerous than having a gay lurking around your house at holiday time is letting them sneak a present under your college child’s tree.
Over three Christmas years ago, we found the gays created a little gem called the Wolverine Blowup Ball to teach children how to secretly blow up a man’s explosed twaddle dandy. Look at this expose:
It looks like our homo supporting friends over at Marvel have created a new toy to encourage young boys to perform mouth to mouth in a non holy way to a blow up toys twiddle rompus!
We might as well line our children up and burn them ourselves! If we make these types of devil pleasing acts ok they will all be burning in the fire lakes anyways!
I spit on you Marvel for creating such filth and then trying to cover it up with lies!
What’s next? The Wonder Woman lollipop? You are sick and twisted and I hope God’s Wrath purges the sin right out of you and then sends you to your master!
I bet the homo queers in San Fransisco are just waiting for their new pray to turn the ripe age of 12, so they can get their dingle dongs touched by some young boys lips! I pray everyday that God sends a fire ball right into the center of that city!
I ask all parents to pray that these homo gay supporters go out of business soon and that their black savior doesn’t send them a bailout package!
Now if that weren’t bad enough, there is a new menage a menace toys they are unleashing this year.
Your son’s sorority girlfriend will think she is getting him a gift to encourage naughty time and she can conceive a Christmas sinchild like the Antichrist and make him drop out and support her, but little does she know this is a cleverly disguisted jalapeno sin product of Hecho in Gay Bay San Francisco.
Your son will start to think about Pinocchio every time he wears these and has to break the seal after drinking on the holidays. Thinking of twaddles and hand puppets is gay activity, so your son is actually being put on the path to homoville. This is even worse than the shake weight last year.
If you have your son’s girlfriend over this holiday and this gift comes out of the wrappers, it’s not a fun gag gift. It’s an invitatino to kick that demon harpy out of your home and tell your son if he runs out after her, DONT COME BACK! And don’t bother going back to college, because next semester HE WILL HAVE NO TUITION!
Sure, he’ll cry and moan and say you are not fair. Tell him tough luck and when she is out being a devil witch demon and gapping her legs to the next future alimony check sender, he’ll be grateful someday as he’s a high powered lawyer or doctor. And not gay.