• Herman Cain Admits He Quoted Pokemon

    December 4, 2011 9:00 pm 4 comments

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    Author:

    Bishop T.J.

    Cain Pokemon 2

    After all of Sandra O’Connor’s warnings about the dangers of Pokemon, it looks like America dodged the proverbial bullet and for once the liberal media is to thank.  In addition to having an affair on his wife, Herman Cain was spouting brainwashing nonsense from a Japanese anime (anime is the Japanese word for pornography) named Pokemon (the Japanese word for crack cocaine).

    Herman Cain was busted by the liberal media for having an affair on his wife, much like Bill Clinton had but of course since Bill Clinton is a liberal, everyone just laughed and forgot about him telling lies under oath and shoving a Cuban cigar up a fresh college intern’s fleshy wonder spot.

    All that aside, Cain confessed that he was quoting crack-cocaine pornography while addressing the American people.  Due to the color of Cain’s skin, perhaps we should not be too surprised.  There are men of a certain, flavor, that like to sit around all day, do drugs and be perverted.  We call them thugs.

    And sure, somehow Cain may have used affirmative action to become CEO of Godfathers and get paid for pretty much nothing, but to think that he would think that we would allow a man who quotes Pokemon to become president is laughable at best.

    I could get over the fact that he did not know China had nukes or where all the countries in the Middle East were located.  I could really be fine with that.  But the second we let a crack-addict into the White House, we are entering a dark path to destruction.

    Said Cain on the fact the  he had been quoting Pokémon during various other speeches.

    “I believe these words came from the Pokémon movie. I’m not sure who the original author is, so don’t go write an article about the poet, but it says a lot about where I am– where I am with my wife and my family, and where we are as a nation,” Cain said. “Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there’s so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me.”

    The movie Cain quoted was Pokemon 2000.  According to Sandra O’Connor, Pokemon 2000 was a movie about “scientists created a Pokemon named Mew 2 who has human-like abilities but tries to take over the world with Hitleresque intentions.  It uses its knowledge of science to create more clones of itself, which works until a young homosexual named Ash dresses up like a ‘cat furry’ and seduces Mew 2, and then catches the creature by revealing his ‘shiny Poke balls’.”

    Herman Cain revealed in GQ magazine that he found inspiration in this movie, perhaps showing that deep down Herman Cain also harbored homosexual sympathy and was speaking out against the Defense of Marriage act as a big cover-up.

    So to Joe My God, MSNBC and every other liberal channel who blew the entire affair situation unfairly out of proportion, thank you.

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    About The Author
    Bishop T.J. Born and raised in South Chicago, Bishop Trotter is a political analyst and champion for American injustice, an activist for equality and a religious leader ALL people.

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