• Iron Chef George Takei Commisions New ‘Yumyum Penisfruit’, Shocked Crowd ‘Loves the Taste’

    December 28, 2011 2:01 pm 10 comments
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  • Long recognized as “The” sterling connoisseur of extravagant phallic perversions, George Takei is the modern Bacchus of homosexuality. A gin in hand and bold look in the eye, Takei is an iconic gay who struts his homosexuality with broad machismo, a rich voice and festive plumings, like a coy LSD toking peacock boldy strutting its stuff, enticing sexually confused roosters who don’t know if to look away or be entranced by the man whose effiminate charm and ageless face beckons them to taste the explosive fruits of true coital carnality.

    George Takeishi Kama, born in the notorious West Hollywood district of Los Angeles on April 20, 1937 to honorable Japanese parents, is an American screen actor best known for playing the outrageous and geniuinely homosexual star ship skipper Mr. Zulu on Star Trek. Though originally shy about his natural homosexual penchant for extravagance and eccentrism, over time the actor has developed an immensely powerful following within the world of science fiction fantasy and reality.

    During the late 1960s, America was a fragile nation who was still recovering from its first shocking experience with liberal media and politics in the workings of a Kennedy influenced leftwing radical whore media machine that saw only the plight of the most outrageous ‘minorities’.  Seeking to capitalize on a nation bamboozled with wasteful concepts of “NASA space exploration”, communist utopia of non-working people enjoying the fruits of capitalism and most dangerous — equality of extant minorities — the Democrat party funded a young ‘visionary’ to create a propaganda program to fully transition America to what is now known as the disastrous 1970s.

    Yumyum Penisfruit, the new Japaneese developed GE fruit that threatens to ship to America is scientifically named G. Takei, after the very man who commissioned it. A proud Takei boasted, "Every man and woman will soon have an explosive taste from Takei's magical fruit gusher. Oh, my!"

    That visionary’s name was Gene Rodenberry, a man Senator McCarthy would have declared a pinko commie at first sight.  Rodenberry quickly conceptualized the show “Star Trek” and with its fancy effects and overacting captain professing communist musings and free-love antics, the show was a greenlight for early success.  Known for his penchant for Asian cuisine, it was no surprise to anyone that a ‘yummy’ Asian man of ‘twinked’ build was hired by Rodenberry to play the role of a powerful tribal star warrior, Mr. Zulu.

    By name alone we can tell Zulu was to be an African warrior, perhaps a prototype Klingon who would serve as an alien liason among a Village People menage of cultural stereotypes and vices.  But the little Japaense pilot who could instead offered a different take on the character, oft times running about on the ship barrel chested and lubed up with oils unknown, teasing and confusing the eyes of the show’s majority male viewing demographic.

    By the time the FCC cancelled Star Trek for all its communist leanings, the damage was already done.  Numerous Americans males had betrayed their loyalty to God and country and began to follow the teachings of Trotsky and Stalin.

    Those of lesser political bent who were corrupted fell into a vice even more dangerous than communism:  homosexuality.

    And leading the charge was a proud Takei, who smarmily told everyone that “Takei, it rhymes with gay!”  For all of the negative said of him, it’s well known fact that William Shatner eventually regretted all his socialist spoutings and ushering in the era of promiscous sexuality in America.  Converted to decency, Shatner tried to get Takei to repent of his little ‘orienation problem’ but to this day, the defiant Takei refuses to give his captain proper respect.

    Instead, Takei has become a very powerful and wealthy industrialist with a shockingly dangerous infatuation with genetic engineering.  Back home in his native Japan, Takei owns stock in various anime and film production firms, who all bankroll various eccentric pet projects in the genetics community.

    The most disturbing evidence we found is listed above, a new item called the “Yumyum penisfruit”.  Originally conceptualized in a Japanese anime about a race of space faring aliens who had the ‘minds of a humans but the life cycle of a fruit’, this race has made it into a new mega movie project called the Gay Star Alliance.  The ‘alliance’ is filled with lusty homosexual erotica and spans both the kingdoms of Star Trek and Star Wars, the characters interacting with each other in purportedly exhilerating bloody battles of spent sabers and pistols, the survivors routinely nursing each other’s wounds in dark, dank steam showers where in the shadows the sins of moaning men go unmentioned.

    This sick perverted world of midichlorian orgies and Vulcan colon melding is space-faring erotica that Takei is masterminding, and it’s all controlled by a group of ‘sentient’ beings who, as you may now have guessed, resemble the G. Takei fruit plant Yumyum penisfruit in this “Alliance” universe.

    Chairman Takei dramatically announcing the invention of a new ‘food stuff’ at Tokyo’s 21st annual 日本のスターアライアンスペニス祭, which roughly translates to the Japanese Phallis Delight Festival.  The homosexual guards stand erect, holding various flags with homosexual astronomy symbols of the Chinese Zodiak.  Takei’s animal is the ‘digging ferret’,  seen at left, an animal squirrely gays administer for colon tickling.   Takei allegedly joked, “Now you vegetarians can have a little ‘reverse Takei ferreting’ time too.  Oh, my!”

    At the Tokyo Kanamara-con festival, the most powerful gays of Japan routinely meet to discuss their love for their manparts and making the entire male world have a gay encounter.  Pastor Jack Gould first detailed this shocking festival many years ago.  Takei routine refers to himself as “The Chairman” and that title is in conjunction with the pivotal, leading role he plays in this long-standing homosexual Japanese tradition.

    The disturbing news from Kanamara-con 2011 is that Takei fully announced the Gay Star Alliance and showed the first video from the film.  It was a huge success, across all audiences.  The success of this film proves that the characters are likeable and it can reach a target demographic of 10 years old to seasoned adults.  When the media eventually hits US markets, so will products.  And the top product from this series will be edible fruits, the Yumyum penisfruit who will likely be cleverly named as “Stickheads” or “Bananaramas”, the phallic shape of them being played off as a coincidence, the same as when liberals claimed there was no gayness to be found in the Teletubbies.

    Before long, this ‘branded’ form of coddle fruit will be a fun item your husband, wife or  child is getting in his or her school lunches or healthy snack.  Do we see the problem here?

    Always sassy and clever, gays think of nefarious schemes to weasle into our lives.  This latest plot of Takei is dastardly brilliant.  Initial food reviews reveal the G. takei fruit is ‘sweeter than melons with the salty zest of intoxication that swirls, excites and calms you with every hearty slurp of a well mixed frozen margarita’.  It is tough to say if this means the Japanese have also hidden an alcoholic property to this fruit, but it would not be surprising!

    Friends, we must stop this product at all cost!  George Takei is heartily laughing right now and is fully exposing his master dangle, thinking that soon we’ll all be lapping up his new movie and eagerly masticating at the thought of experimenting with his new fruit!  Double entendre does not even do justice to what we’re seeing here!  It is homosexual plottings and dealings at its worst.

    Coy, cold and calculating in an impossibly precise robotic manner typical to the Japanese, The so-called Iron Chef of Homosexuality George Takei proudly eats a sweet yellow pepper and taunts media who dare challenge his plans to create a painfully obvious phallic fruit to a global market.  Japanese scientists expect Takei’s new line of GE homofriendly fruits to reach American stores and tables by early 2013.

    For you mothers out there, this news should be especially frightening.  You must wonder is your husband gay.  Are your college-aged sons binging upon the nectars of G. takei?   Husbands, you will have to ask why your wife is spending so much time feeling up fruit in the produce aisle.  Is she now attracted to gay men and planning to have an affair with them?

    These are questions that stand to tear apart the traditional American family even more, and as we all know, that is the end Machiavellian goal of the homogay agenda.  If the family is confused and suspicious of one another, they will have no resolve to fight gay marriage and gay adoption.

    And before you know it, fathers will be bent over at every street corner, letting every gay wildly shake their manes and stamp their feet as they play oil derek prospector on the go.  It’s a sad, dismal future we all have to look forward to if gays can make their little ‘culture’ of cutsie cuisines and entendre food an acceptable item in our households.

    George Takei has not been reached for comment at time of report.






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    About The Author
    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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