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Jon Bon Jovi is Dead
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Jon Bon Jovi died of a hetachromia coma.
God is really on a smiting spree this weekend. First it was the unholy tandem of Kim Jong Il and his daughter Lil’ Kim. Next, we have another ‘glame rocker’ Jon Bovi Jovi dead!
This great news is almost too much to ask for the week before Christmas. For years I have preached and warned everyone that Jon Bon Jovi is evil and the devil. First of all, his eyes are mismatched like a cat. By this rare eye coloration alone you can tell the man is half human, half cat demon.
Bowie allegedly died of a coma, probably from all the sniffed drugs and pantie thongs thrown to him at his concert. Eventually it all eats away at the brain and when you are a homosexual glame rocker, your chances of coming up dead go up at least 30%.
I say Goodbye and Good riddance! This is the man who made the song “Hot for Teacher” that made women like Debbie Lafave and other cradle robbers force young men in high school to do unimaginable things to their bodies! SickO!
You can bet tonight Satan is doing the Stray Cat Strut in the dairy fancy of this rocker! We’ll see who is “Hot for Satan” when he gets a red hot rod coal waggle up his Cosby popper! Hah!
Call me heartless, but I hate rock music and the people who perform it.
6:33 pm
He’s not dead loser. It was something some moron made up on Twitter.
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6:37 pm
I’d also like to add that the people who start these rumours are sick in the head.
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6:37 pm
Wasnt he that guy in u-571?
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1:29 am
the nazi captain?
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6:37 pm
Abe, you really need to get layed or something. Also false article is false.
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6:40 pm
The booze isn’t helping your article writing skills Abe.
Also, he’s not dead
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10:08 pm
Ok, I know this is a joke website, but you crossed a line.
You don’t fuck with Jon Bon Jovi.
P.S. He’s alive. Just saying. Considering he’s currently playing a show.
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10:30 pm
Oh, and to prove that point.
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11:00 pm
I’m just glad that women my age can get their “Property of JBJ” tattoos removed, spattered or wacked or whatever they are calling nowadays, from their cankles and bottom cheeks.
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5:20 am
Indeed. Just how do those cougars feel now that they’ve defaced their bodies with bon jovi and arrowsmith tramp stamps?
I blame bad parenting as well as a liberal media that cares little about the welfair of children.
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12:43 am
Shot through the head, his song’s so lame…he gives rock a bad name.
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5:10 am
Lacking a heart! Also no brain! buddy, you give God a bad name!
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1:41 am
I think these tight pants that rockers wear causes DNA damage. No wonder they are all dropping like fleas.
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10:57 am
Will he be sporting his Mom ‘Doo for his Open Casket Viewing?
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5:28 pm
lol thats david bowie, get it right and stop being so stupid.
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