New Wii Pee Game Upsets Parenting Groups, Promotes ePhallus Lesbianism This Holiday Season
Testing out the new Wii Pee game module. The strap on device definitely made me feel male and the aiming controls are meant to simulate a man at the urinal. There are also ‘bonuses’ that can be unlocked with online code, letting users ‘use their Wii’ in ways that would warrant the game getting a worse ESRB rating.
Several weeks ago I received a letter from an upset mother who overheard her daughter and several friends discussing a new ‘device and game’ that were coming out for the Nintendo Wii entertainment system.
As the girl’s stiffled giggles and conversation progressed, the mother was able to piece together that the game was designed to give a woman the sensation of having a ‘p#nis’ and is complete with a vibrating strap-on phallic device, realistic noises and ‘instructions’ on how to use the typical male member on a day to day basis.
The mother did smartly decide to not confront her daughter, who seemed keen on trying the game out when it releases on December 15th. Instead, today I have done the job of tracking down this game and providing a video game review of it for concerned parents.
Please, make sure this game is not on your child’s Wii downloads list and from what I can tell, it is also available as an online application for iPhone and 3ds.
Video footage of game removed due to legal letter from Romp/Hassis Games.
To access the game, one only needs to access the Nintendo Linked Network on the Wii. The cost is a mere $49.95, making the game readily affordable to even the poorest of children.
I contacted the company behind the game and instructed them that I was a game reviewer, needing to review the system for a collegiate magazine. The company bought it and sent me a test model, which you see being sampled up above.
The most shocking part of the package was the huge size of it. I could not believe that for a device so immoral, that it would ship in such a large parcel.
The device straps around the waist and has a slot where the Wiimote can be attached. The device is designed to ‘have the same tug and feel’ as a man’s gonad region. In the instructional booklet for the game, the option of ‘clothes optional’ with a winking face is listed as an apparent joke.
I naturally chose to use the ‘clothes on’ option for this game and was shocked by the raw perversion in the platform. The game follows an ambigulously sexed character named “Jake” during his first year of college. Jake is primarily a walking devil rod. He seeks to touch his member (which is shown in pixelated perversion) and have it touch as many other women as possible.
What the women in the game do not know is that “Jake” is actually a transgender woman who has undergone a sexual trangression. Transgression sexuals, for those who do not know, are those who illegally switch their gender against the will of God. It is thought that for every 10 gays, at least two suffer from this extreme condition which further complicates their psychological condition.
And this game is meant to introduce more people, namely women, into the idea of becoming a man. “Jake” constantly seeks to encounter situations where he gets ‘Phallic Moments’, that is, has a reason to use the various functions of the Wiimote that simulate having a p#nis.
The moment I simulate above is ‘master dangling’, a drunken mini-game feature of the game. For every five seconds the urinal stream can be aimed will drunken staggering ensues, one extra ‘bonus try’ is earned for the bar scenes of the game.
As is well known, gays are infatuated with bars, drugs and sex. Extreme addictive personality disorder is another fascinating aspect of a gay’s fractured identity, likely contributing to their misplaced and disastrous life choices.
In the game, Jake takes extreme pride in his drug use and carnal exploits. Research shows the game is a converted flash reprisal of a video series owned by Rompus/Hassis studios. Some of the video shots from my game play are shared below, with supplemental media.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEO GAME MEDIA IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES. PLEASE IMMEDIATELY PRAY AND DEMAND ALL CHILDREN LEAVE THE ROOM AND ONLY QUALIFIED ADULTS READ/VIEW THE REST OF THIS GAME REVIEW.
Every chapter of this depraved game starts out the same, with the protagonist, Jake the Transgender, going to notorious real life clubs like “Brass Rail” so he can test out his new device in various ways. Various things (doing the right drugs, the already discussed urinal game) will result in Jake ‘earning’ extra lives, called Phallic Moments in the LGBT RLRPG.
The clever aspect of the game is its dual marketing. While the packaging and subliminal messages makes the game’s clear intent to give curious college women a new brand of lesbian experimentation, the Wiimote offering powerful, thigh quivering vibrations that are admittedly meant to stimulate certain desires in great effect, men can pretend that Jake is an actual man and they are simply ‘practicing’ their club pick-up moves.
In this scene of the game, I have opted to ‘Hit On’ an Asian girl I meet at the bar. Knowing the nature of gays and Chinese girls, I chose ‘do the drug’ every tiem a drug was offered, as seen in the next screenshot.
After the woman is properly plied with drugs, “Jake” is free to take advantage of her clouded mind and again, the Wiimote phallic device actually digs into the pelvis to cause the feelings of sin to enter the body. This is likely why the game suggests ‘nude play’, to make women think lesbianism feels like a nature, deeply clenched ecstatic release of the body.
I have edited the sinful parts out of this final shot, and note that even the panels show a yellow and pink triangle, a sign of lesbianism.
This game is greatly sinister and has various references to well known gays and transgression sexual gays. This game is very sinful and I will again admit can cause the feelings of great temptation to enter the body, due to the nature of the phallic Wiimote (which according to several intern staff, is 3rd party created by the same company who makes perversion devices for Howard Stern).
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Amber
Amber <3's you and someone else does too!
11:48 pm
My god you’re fucking stupid.
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7:49 am
seeing an asian chick with a strap on, BONER ALERT! INVISIBLE Boner Alert!
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12:03 am
I’m going to have to review this game myself, so I can warn parents of the newest threat.
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7
12:10 am
Thank you for your service to the flock, Brother Adam. Blessings on you!
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8
12:13 am
If you can find an actual copy of it, I’ll be amazed, considering it doesn’t exist.
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12:27 am
Now who’s the stupid one, L.N? There are actual screenshots of the game in the article. Try actually reading the articles instead of jumping straight to the comment section to spew your hatred and bile.
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12:38 am
The so called screenshots are unrelated to anything that was said in this article.
The first shot of the person playing the pee game is actually photoshopped because a) Theres no sign of a wii connected to that tv. b) The weird underwear/jockstrap thing she’s wearing is too blurry and obviously thrown on there
The crudely drawn “club” part of the game (The last 4 “Screenshots”) is actually from some stupid pornographic flash game
Nintendo wouldn’t let anything like this on their system
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12:42 am
Bruce, you’re blind and retarded, go back to your corner and pretend you’re married.
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1:27 pm
This is so foul I’m breathless. What sort of child wants to play this game? I think they must have mental problems to begin with. Urinating? How is that fun? It’s a necessary evil but nothing I’d want to play at. Who in the world comes up with this stuff? I guess the gays like urination, it is a sexual act for them… but getting young girls involved is simply repulsive. Typical liberals, always looking for new boundaries to destroy. Thanks Obama for giving these people a green light to destroy our culture.
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9
4:04 pm
You idiot, this isn’t an actual game, and are you seriously blaming Obama for absolutely nothing at all? God you’re fucking retarded. Seriously, just jump off a cliff, you’ll do the world a favor and do something useful for a change.
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9 
1
5:08 pm
If you were my child, I’d spank you. Heck, I’d spank you even if you weren’t. (But you’d probably like that, wouldn’t you? Pervert.)
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7
5:15 pm
You’re the fucking psycho who throws people into your basement then jerks off on them and watch your jizz congeal.
You come anywhere near me, and I’ll shove a knife down your throat.
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1
6:24 pm
You are obsessed with the most disgusting things, LN. And why are you so curious about my basement? You sound like John Wayne Gacy.
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8
6:31 pm
You’re the one who has at least three pictures of John Wayne Gacey on your facebook, you creep!
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11:49 pm
LN why are you so dirty all of a sudden!
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6
4:04 pm
I’m not curious about your basement, you sick fuck, I just want to keep reminding you that you enjoy throwing people into it.
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8:38 am
You would spank a child, tell me why or how you would spank a child, seems the only answer I can find is with a dildo
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4:50 pm
OK, I’m done. I was trying to be polite and civilized, but screw it. I’ve been wanting to ask this for awhile: ARE YOU PEOPLE INBRED?
Your racist, homophobic and xenophobic ways are just disgusting. If there is a god I hope he takes pity on you miserable wretches.
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5:07 pm
Thank goodness you’ve decided to take your bigotry and violence and head elsewhere. You come on here and post the most inane and childish things and expect what? Love? Respect? You’re not much more than an imbecile and your heart overflows with hate. I find it honestly disturbing. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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8
5:16 pm
You post inane and childish things and demand that people respect and love you while you admit to throwing people into your basement, beating people, and then watch your jizz turn yellow.
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6:05 pm
WHO THE FUCK SAID I WAS GOING ANYWHERE, YOU FUCKTART PIECE OF WORTHLESS CRAP THAT SHOULD JUST KILL ITS SELF BECAUCE NO ONE EVER GAVE A BLEEDING SHIT FOR YOU.
I’m a better human than you. I treat people with dignity and respect and ignore their falts because I know they can be better. People like you only preach hatred and cover it up with things that are supposed to teach people how to be kind and caring towards one another.
I bet you don’t even know who H.P. Lovecraft is, much less understand the fucking quote.
It would be best if you just shut you fucking arrogant mouth and blow you brains out.
ASS-FUCKING-HOLE!
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6:10 pm
And use a different picture, no one wants to see that.
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6:23 pm
Wow, you’re just not that bright, are you? I feel sorry for a fool like you. You’ll never realize that people here are laughing at your stupidity. I feel this just sad all around. You people need to be looked after and cared for. You shouldn’t be allowed on the internet because it seems like you can’t control yourself. Death threats, really? If you were half a human being and not a completely limp wristed liberal ingrate, I might take you seriously. Good riddance!
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6:32 pm
“You’ll never realize that people here are laughing at your stupidity.”
Likewise, Billings. How many times have we told you this?
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6:49 pm
There is no trying to reason with people like you who suffer from a god complex.
Even though I know this will get me nowhere, I’d like to see you try and understand this:
Fallen king, no one sings, till the day you die,
Worthless breed, poisoned seed, of another’s lie
Bond of blood, now undone, as your spirit cries
Raven’s mead, Odin’s seed, on the sacred pyre
Hypnotized, by the lies, of the hollow priest
Fed your kin, for their sins, to the southern beast
Darken skies, unseen eyes, look towards the east
spirit gone, by the dawn, as the ravens feast
– Sig:Ar:Tyr
I don’t want you to change the subject, I just want you to give me a straight answer as to what you think this means. And your answer can’t pagan bullshit.
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9:07 pm
Keep that hippie garbage to yourself. So this is the nonsense that fills your heart? It doesn’t make any sense and besides that, it’s completely idiotic and poorly written on top of that. It sounds like some fake cry to get angry teenagers to buy records. I can’t believe you fell for it! “Laughing our Loud!”
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11:19 am
Since you think yourself so smart, my dear sir, here are some words of wisdom:
Middling-wise, every man should be:
Beware of being too wise;
for wise man’s heart is seldom happy
if too great the wisdom he won
Middling-wise, every man should be:
Beware of being too wise;
his fate let no one beforehand know
who would keep his heart from care.
– Havamal
And you didn’t give me a straight answer, like I said you would.
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3:55 pm
You’re starting to sound like our favorite runt, Claire. And listen Pin-head, I surely gave you more answers than you deserve. You’re not even honest with me!
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3:57 pm
Shut your hole, fatass.
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4:00 pm
Billings, you couldn’t answer someone’s question to save your life.
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4:04 pm
You are the biggest bunch of hyprocritical nitwits I’ve ever seen.
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4:05 pm
Looking in a mirror Billings? You want to bitch about so much shit that’s not true or exaggerated, and yet you think you’re absolutely perfect.
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4:05 pm
But my dear sir, you haven’t even asked me a question.
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4:06 pm
Then how about you show us your credentials and tell us where you received them?
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4:26 pm
You are nothing more than a gang of bullies who harasses me and tries to beat me up. What a wonderful personality you all have. What a great example you’re leaving for your fellow teens. Insults about my looks and my weight, death threats, calling me a retarded fag… You realize this is exactly the sort of behavioir the liberals are making laws against. It’s too bad love and peace were not stronger in your hearts.
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4:35 pm
Billings, I don’t think any of us are teenagers.
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4:36 pm
Too bad you’ve never learned to shut up, my dear sir.
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4:38 pm
You’re nothing but a bully to people who live a life you don’t like. You sit there on your fat ass and tell homosexuals that they’re wrong, you tell people who play video games that they’re murderers, you sit there and belittle women just because they’re women, you complain about how terrible liberals are and ‘how this is all Obama’s fault that we’re in a recession’ without thinking that conservatives had a HUGE hand in what had happened, you demand people do sexual things for you, and then you tell them how you’re going to assault them and then act offended when someone calls you a fucking psycho and pervert. And then you have the gall to say that you looked up your information, BULL SHIT.
Fuck you Billings, fuck you and die.
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4:32 pm
so you are indeed inbred ? don,t you Mister billings you love to fuck your little brother in the ass ??
Oh wiat no You are more on wall sex am I right ??
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11:51 pm
I am sure Claire is going to purchase this as she loves sex toys,
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12:05 am
1. I don’t own a Wii
2. This is not a sex toy
3. According to Adam, I’m a prude who’s lying about owning sex toys. So whose side are you on – his or mine?
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12:35 pm
Since when was a tv a sex toy
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11:27 am
haha, that “game media” kinda looks, like you drew it yourself. at least it doesn’t correspond with the ingame-graphics shown in your leading picture.
are you sure you’re not mixing stuff up here? you know, lying is a sin, isnt it?
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5:18 pm
I wonder if you can pee a hole into a urinal cake, that is my favorite thng about being a man.
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5:19 pm
well that and not having my privates bleed all the time.
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6:02 pm
0.0
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8:35 pm
I love reading Youtube comments because they constantly define new lows in Human Intelligence. These comments are almost as good.
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8:38 pm
By the way, the new low in intelligence was directed at you, Penumbra.
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