A classic matchup of holy versus holy is taking place this week. The New England Patriots, being cheered by everyone normal who lives in the American Northeast and unfortunately jealous atheists, versus the Christian football team Denver Broncos, under the guidance of God and his fielf officer, Tim Tebow.
Some sports fans may fail to see the spiritual ramifications of today’s battle of the Patriots versus the Broncos, so let’s clear it up.
Tim Tebow is a Godly man who believes in the power of prayer. While Tebow’s baseline skill may not be that of true quarterbacks like Fran Tarkenton or Joe “Holy Smokes” Namath, after a bout of 4th quarter prayer we have seen time and time again that the young man is unstoppable. It is truly like watching Angels in the Outfield when Tebow bows before his God.
All that may come to an end this week, however, because one holy man, a true American Patriot, has bent his knees in order to help Tom Brady. The man’s name: Andrew Wilkow, ChristWire’s man of the year.
Realizing that the Broncos would be nigh unbeatable, Wilkow last week introduced the concept of “Wilkowing”, a new denomination of sports prayer. Those who wish the Broncos to lose can now fall prostrate before the heavens and profess, “By Wilkow’s American spirit” and the prayer counts as one toward the Patriots. Thsi can only be outdone by the faith Tebow inspires in his fans.
The game this week will tell who is holier: Tim Tebow or Andrew Wilkow. Only minutes remain before we have an answer.