The incidence of male-pregnancy is one you would not expect to see mentioned alongside the powerful name Newt Gingrich, the would-be GOP candidate for US presidency. Gingrich is known for his penchant for scandal and irreverence to humility, but today’s bombshell by Pelosi may be even too much for Ironsides Gingrich to navigate. This may be the sinking of the Newt Gingrich campaign.
To break this story easily to already wide-eyed Repubiclans, we’ll look into the backstory of this issue. It involves science. There is a condition of humans called “Male Pregnancy”. It can occur when an XX woman decides she is actually a man, and therefore, undergoes hormone therapy to develop an external male phenotype.
A transgender man may have received hormone therapy, cosmetic surgery and other alterations to achieve a goal of bigger muscles, curves and sexualization. But there is one thing that may not change: the “secret place”, as the holy right here are fond of saying.
And when a transgender decides to keep the internal parts natural, well, they can still be fertilized and pregnant with child. The other half of the backstory today has to do with the SRY gene. Jamie Lee Curtis may actually be an XY genotype, a male. But, because she lacks the SRY gene to do anything about the Y chromosome, her body made her a very attractive female by default. At any point, Jamie Lee Curtis could have decided she was a man and undergone hormonal therapy to develop a masculine shell for her internal desires, but kept her womanhood intact.
You know who else could do this? Newt Gingrich.
In the shocking photograph at right, Newt Gingrich poses for a candid photo in which he clearly is several months pregnant. We may remember that several years ago, Gingrich stepped down as Speaker of the House.
Such a move from a position of power, especially for a man of Gingrich’s stubborn nature, does not fit his M.O. It is unheard of for the Speaker of the House seat to be so easily abandoned.
Soon after fleeing from the public spotlight, a more recluse Gingrich was spotted around the DC metro area and in ‘rural Massachusetts’ several times. Paparazzi photographers captured images of Gingrich that showed the politician had an unprecedented bought of weight gain.
While some speculated Gingrich was simply eating his stress away to cope with a non-political life, sources close to the family claimed the Newt was stressed because he had somehow managed to conceive a child.
Newt’s wild, provocative sexual escapades are well known throughout DC. While Newt eagerly confesses to most affairs with females, he shies away from accusations that he may have experimented with seeming homosexuality. The fact of the matter, putting together the pieces from Pelosi’s coming bombshell, is that Newt is actually confessing to all the same sex affairs, because at the root, Gingrich is actually an XX female whose taken hormones to seem like a man.
The most telling aspect of Newt’s sexuality is what’s known as a ‘lesbian’s haircut’. On the street, this is also called a “Lesbro” haircut. While the term may sound basal and crass, it refers to the fact that many transgender women do not experience pattern baldness that is more common to males. Thus, as they age their hairline is not indicative, as it would be a natural XY male.
Gingrich’s healthy, unusually thick bed of geriatric hair is a dead giveaway that his genes are not purely XX, as the rest of the evidence suggests. This suggests that the candidate’s overt hatred of homosexuals arises from his own fears that an expose into his own sexuality would compromise that which he loves most: political power and a political career.