Selena Gomez: Innocent Pop Princess or Harbinger of Evil?

Disney’s newest singing sensation is slowly taking over the world with her poppy tunes and quirky character. Initially cast as Wizards of Waverly Place’s main character Alex Russo, it was only a matter of time before she took the all too well known step from acting to singing. Her third album When the Sun Goes Down came out this year and has sold millions worldwide.

But let’s look at this from another point of view. Nobody seems to be worried about this girl taking it a bit too far and polluting our children’s minds with her leftist agenda and overall bad influence. First of all, the title of her new album should serve as a clear sign: when the sun goes down, evil comes out. As soon as it turns dark, you’re on Satan’s playground.
To show you just how far Disney and ms. Gomez will go, I will provide you with a song by song analysis:

1. Love You Like A Love Song
Selena starts out subtly with this overproduced pop song about love and devotion. Or is it? If you listen closely to the lyrics, it seems to be more about stalking somebody and not wanting to leave them be than about unconditional love. And what is that line “and I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat” all about? Wouldn’t surprise me if this is a reference to sex. And what do we get when we combine stalkers and sex? Exactly: rape.

2. Bang Bang Bang
First of all, on this track Selena berates her ex(?) boyfriend about not being goodlooking enough. What a great message to send out to our kids: who cares about personality, it’s only the outside that counts!
But then: is he really her ex boyfriend? Whenever she sings about him feeling bad for her having left him, she uses future tense. Implying that she is already with her new guy (“Stealing all my love back, giving it to him”) whilst still an a supposedly committed relationship. Also, the song title is obviously either a reference to sex or murder. Not sure which one is worse.

3. Who Says
This track could initially be percieved as positive, telling Selena’s listeners that they are beautiful, no matter that. But listen more closely:

I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else

Apparently Selena thinks you are ugly, but shie is perfect just the way she is. She later reinforces this statement by singing “I’m just beautiful me”.
Well thanks a lot Selena, for that boost of confidence.

4. We Own The Night
Who is it exactly that own the night? Exactly: vampires, zombies and Satan. No further explanation needed.

5. Hit The Lights
At first listen this seems – yet again – to be a positive message: don’t delay the things you want to do. Tell that guy you like him, take that trip you always wanted to take. But then: take that trip to Las Vegas, a.k.a. the City of Sin. And further up in this song, Selena start encouraging kids to take drugs and go “all the way” (roofies reference), “dance forever” (XTC) and “raise your glasses”. So, after taking all those drugs, kids get encouraged to wash them down with some more alcohol…

6. Whiplash
Bodily injuries are not a thing to joke about. Especially in a song that is clearly all about sex. Disgusting.

7. When The Sun Goes Down
“The party doesn’t start until the sun goes down.” I don’t know about you, parents of America, but if I had children their curfew would be well before dark. A young child has no business being outside at night. All that does is get them addicted to alcohol and crack.
Also, never before have I seen such a blatant example of product placement in a song: “I check my iPhone, let me see what’s going on.” Honestly, I wouldn’t want my kid anywhere near such a liberal, leftist device. It would only pollute their minds.

8. My Dilemma
Another side of Selena’s bad influence comes to light here. She sings about being in an abusive relationship, but not wanting to leave the guy that hits her and is bad for her, because she is attracted to him physically. Whore.

9. That’s More Like It
Selena tells the story about how her boyfriend used to be the dominant one in the relationship and she was submissive and often forgotten (as all good wives should be) and how she changed into some kind of dominatrix (“it’s great to be on top”)

I love cashmere, and I want diamonds
Ready for my massage right now

It would suit you as a woman and a future mother to tone it down a little bit, Selena.

10. Outlaw
Here, Selena accuses somebody of being an outlaw from love. Doesn’t she know that everybody deserves love? To deny anybody that is just plain mean.

11. Middle Of Nowhere
In this song, Selena has been dumped by her lesbian lover (“I don’t know if I can stand straight”) and actually regrets it. This is your chance to get back in the normal, heterosexual lifestyle! Don’t go around telling our kids that ending a gay homosexual relationship is a regrettable thing!

12. Dices
This is that horrible self-induglent song we’ve already heard before on track #3, but now it has been translated into the immigrant language of Spanish. Apparently, it’s not enough anymore that they’re taking over our jobs, now they’re also taking over our songs! Stop it already!

I sincerely hope that I have managed to persuade you not to buy your kdis this album. Especially not for Christmas, a.k.a. Jesus’ birthday! I will leave the final decision to you, but I sure as heck know which album should be burned, deleted and/or forgotten. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for the children!